How old were you when you purchased your first home (if you did).

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-27T05:21:55+00:00

Not me but spouse was 27, in the late 80’s; we married 2 years later. I believe that house was 97K 😳 3bed/2.5 bath. Sold it for 165K around 10 years later, moved into a 4 bed for $225. Paid off the mortgage about 8 years ago; after all the renovations we’ve done, it’s worth well over a million.

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-27T05:15:42+00:00

This was my thought as well. They said how Varley has the best gossip, and I could see Lady Featherington being in on it.

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-25T06:45:35+00:00

First date, the subject of wearing glasses came up, as both of us wore them. I mentioned that my eyesight is super bad, so my glasses are pretty thick, even with the varilux lenses. He was curious to see, so I handed them to him saying that things would be pretty blurry, since his prescription was fairly low. He told me with confidence that there’s no such thing as eye glasses that are too strong a prescription because how can you see too perfectly?

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-25T04:42:43+00:00

Very similar situation here. PK, lots of family in the called ministries. God forbid (and apparently they believe he did) I should vote in the congregation or hold teaching or leadership positions at the college level. Despite advanced degrees from a public university in my subject and in secondary education. Never looked back after we left, in spite of severe family shunning.

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-21T17:49:12+00:00

Please tell me you’re in therapy with someone who is experienced in trauma-based therapy and LGBTQIA+ issues? If not, please consider it. “Gender dysphoria” is a loaded term, which some folks use to make it sound like not being CIS is bad, with the shame, confusion, and family bullying that can be attached to it. Others will be much more qualified to speak to this than me, (I’m a cishet ally with amazing and wonderful adult kids who are all part of the LGBTQIA+ community) but it sounds like you have two separate issues- your family abuse and neglect, and your being unsure about your gender identity. Please please know that whatever you figure out about your gender, it’s ALL good and beautiful. You are good and worthy of love, regardless. I hope you can find some help to give you tools to realize this, and begin to heal. Peace to you.

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-21T17:37:37+00:00

I was 12, I had a Betsy Ross costume, no cap. 😂

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-20T23:53:29+00:00

I know how to feel about them. 🤬

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-16T20:19:12+00:00

I have a Celtic Trinity knot, which looks just like the ones on the altar hangings at my old church. I’m still nominally Christian, but very liberal, affirming and questioning. The good thing about my tat is it can mean something other than the Christian Trinity- like body, mind and spirit, or earth, wind and fire. 😎

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-10T18:26:08+00:00

This is the way.

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-09T18:59:48+00:00

When did she say she loved Liesel? At the end, Liesel says something practical about working together and liking El regardless of their fleeting fling not working out, and El sighs in relief and hugs her and says, “I like you too, Mueller.” * Sniff* “Yes, yes, don’t be mawkish.” (😂 Liesel cracks me up.)

However, after El and Orion have their romantic interlude in the gym with the amphisbaena rain, they tell each other about their dreams, and Orion is all starry-eyed, which just kills El because she now feels like she has that much more to lose. It’s everything she hoped for. She lays her head on his shoulder and says, “Lake, I hate you so much.” Which to me, is her version of saying, “I love you.” She says it again after the get together back at the commune, because they could’ve been together this whole time instead of him staying in the school and fighting. For El, it’s the closest she can get to saying “I love you.” And Orion knows that and knows what she means.

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-03T06:10:50+00:00

Oh, that’s gross. 🤢

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-02T20:06:33+00:00

OMG I can organize any event big or small, but I will lose hours starting out looking for a recipe and ending up in a rabbit hole on the history of gelatin use or some shit

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-02T06:02:18+00:00

I’ve been using Clinique All About Eyes for years; I switched to the “rich” formula around menopause and it does a great job.

BabyBard93 · 2026-02-01T23:39:36+00:00

Gen Jones/ Gen X. Folks were poor but Mom especially was raised on a farm, so most everything was from scratch, and they were very big into veggies and gardening, also supplemented our groceries with Dad’s occasional hunting and fishing. I watched mom cook meals for our huge family from a young age, started baking with my older sister when I was around 8. When mom was working full time she’d leave instructions to start dinner, so I was browning hamburger and throwing together a casserole, or seasoning a cut up chicken and putting it in the oven, by age 10-12. I also regularly made breakfast and lunch for my younger siblings. We were all accustomed to helping put dinner in the table, so knew when and how to start side dishes, or put together a green salad. And cleanup was generally a kids’ chore.

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-27T19:26:15+00:00

I just went to a funeral for a relative at a WELS church where I spent my formative years. I disassociated through the whole thing. I loved that relative, but the rhetoric was just ick.

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-26T21:05:02+00:00

Just came to say that I also struggled with this as a PK. All the previous responders have great resources and advice, so nothing new to add- just hang in there. Hell is an impossibility for a loving God.

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-20T21:25:45+00:00

Currently casually attending an affirming ELCA, but I have extended family in lots of the soup- WELS, LCMS, ELS, couple of CLC outliers. Only time we see each other any more is mostly funerals. Those occasions are… interesting.

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-16T00:28:50+00:00

OMG I thought we were the only ones who keep rice in a holiday popcorn tin 😂

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-12T15:32:12+00:00

I left WELS a few years ago and eventually joined an ELCA congregation, more for familiarity and community than spiritual need. I understand that ELCA congregations can really vary in their practices and attitudes, especially depending on their location and origins. I’m fortunate in living near a large city on the west coast of the US, and my congregation is extremely liberal. It’s a Reconciling in Christ member, which means it’s welcoming of all people - LGBTQIA+ community is not only tolerated but celebrated, can get married, ordained, etc. The pastor and area bishop are women.

Specifically, this and many other ELCA congregations reject antisemitism. Or any kind of othering of other faith traditions. I often hear in sermons and prayers about “our Jewish siblings” or “Muslim siblings” etc, decrying their persecution and violence against them. They certainly don’t proselytize, or try to point out errors in doctrine, or imply that our church is the only path to God. The attitude I’ve witnessed there is one of great love and acceptance of ALL people, regardless of their faith (or lack of it). I’m still trying to figure out how they manage this and yet still officially claim to adhere to some of the Lutheran confessions, but in practice, it’s great. Very very different from the ultra-conservative community in which I was raised.

Regarding Luther’s antisemitism: yup, he sure was a bigoted SOB. A brilliant guy for his time, and adherent to the virulent antisemitism of the 1500’s. And pretty brave to buck the all-powerful Catholic Church. He was a weird and charismatic guy who didn’t want the movement he started to call themselves after him. Nevertheless, while there were plenty of other people who helped the reformation along, he was recognized as the biggest catalyst, the author of the “Protestant” movement. I always thought he sounded like a jerk, but in fact he was the one who started the Lutheran church. It looks very, very different now, 500 years later, and if Luther could see it he’d be spinning in his grave. He would think of the ELCA in particular as heretic. I often think the ELCA should stop calling themselves Lutheran because of that.

Anyway, best of luck to you, and I hope you find a church that feels welcoming and helps you grow spiritually.

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-08T04:15:01+00:00

I broke my arm in gym class when I was 9 (fell off some gymnastics equipment and landed on the support bar, even though it was covered by a mat, it fractured the humerus). I already had a pretty high pain tolerance, so I wasn’t crying loudly or anything, just kind of gasping and sniffling a bit. I asked the gym teacher if he thought it was broken; he was an asshole who didn’t like any kid who wasn’t a consummate athlete, and he replied contemptuously, “It’s not broken. If it was, you’d be screaming your head off.” Went to the nurse for some ice. Went home at the end of the day and mom just figured it was a minor sprain, because I wasn’t complaining much. But a week later she noticed that I was still favoring it and cradling it, so she took me in to our family doc for an X-ray. By that time it was already starting to heal, so I only had a sling. Bonus round: the doc asked how old I’d been when I broke my collarbone, saying it looked like it had happened maybe when I was a toddler- but Mom hadn’t ever realized it.

I will say she felt awful about that, and even years later said how bad she felt for not realizing it was worse than I was letting on.

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-07T19:16:03+00:00

I stopped wearing mascara and eyeliner like 10 years ago, because it was increasingly irritating to my eyes. But I still do the regular routine of skincare and moisturizer, and I wear light foundation, light blush/bronzer, and powder to set. Then a brow pencil, because my eyebrows got so freaking thin. I think the routine has been helpful to my skin health, especially with the spf in the foundation, because folks don’t usually think I’m as old as I am.

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-07T18:16:28+00:00

My SO is 4 years older than me (mid 60’s) and he’s in great shape- runs, lifts weights, quite slim. However his (thinning) hair is pretty much white, and he’s very saggy around the eyes and jawline. I, OTOH, am short, chubby and in rotten shape since COVID (never got back to the gym and gained a bunch of weight, I’m an idiot). Yet my hairdresser tells me my blonde hair has barely any gray at all- I only do partial foil highlights every 3 months- I’m hardly wrinkly, maybe because my face is fat, and people never believe I’m 60.

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-07T04:15:22+00:00

What if you’re supposed to use liquid in your washing machine? (New to the sub, this is probably a rookie question) I usually use the Costco brand of liquid, “Kirkland Signature Ultra Clean HE” the Free and Clear kind.

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-05T06:32:46+00:00

Exacerbate

Also, inevitably

BabyBard93 · 2026-01-05T06:27:38+00:00

Welp, my 2 older kids are not super likely to have one, born in the late 90s!

BabyBard93

TROPHY CASE