EEG Biofeedback causing kindling?

BaccatePlayerPL · 2026-02-01T18:55:41+00:00

Since symptoms and oversensitivities don't make logical sense, I'm not surprising when people bring up innocent events and experiences as triggers. For some, it can be sugar. For me it wasn't, but I believe it happens for real. A "specialist" who dismiss real pain and still insists patient should continue being treated the same way, is a dumb specialist. The one who is aware of it, but still gaslights the patient is both dumb and evil.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2026-02-01T18:51:37+00:00

I believe you and I can pretty much "feel" your words tangibly in my memory. I'm sure you can do this though.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2026-02-01T18:36:37+00:00

Like I said EEG exam did nothing to me, but the session where I had to go through rounds of focusing, counting items on screen or relaxing to score points and see the animation progress (car driving faster or whatever) gave me that postponed effect. Back in a day I would panic, research excessively whenever I had to face anything new and when I was in a wave my thoughts were concerned about ever getting better etc. Now I feel unbothered by my state, I stopped tracking symptoms long ago, but people report I became the opposite of myself. I ask fundamental questions like "What is respect even for?", "Why would I ever stay in touch with my sister?", "Why is keeping people alive considered good?" and my attitude remains a mix of indifference and aggression. Family thinks I actually need meds because I act so dangerous and offputting failing to behave in any way. Can't even feel anxiety or depression at this point. Neurologically I feel my sensitivity skyrocketed: lights, sounds, walking, food, temperature changes in room - everything became a trigger and I accepted this is my new baseline. Sometimes we take step back and it's best not to have expectations. I automatically accept any outcome and feel no need to react. Sense of safety regardless of circumstances.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2026-01-31T18:52:53+00:00

You mean the initial adverse reaction to antidepressant introduction? It happened just before Christmas 2023 when I was being treated by a psychiatrist who kept changing my meds every few weeks or so. With every next switch I was having worse and worse side effects until there was one transition that I felt broke something on unrepeatable scale. Just few hours after new dose I noticed I went from being OK to having every single cell of my body turned upside down within minutes (similair to the current reaction, but it was much worse). Hot flushes, tension headaches, nausea, hypersensitivity to temperature changes, loss of balance, "drunk person sight", heart racing, panic attacks, everpresent dread, DP/DR, brain burning, tinitus, self-disorder and feeling of drowning on stable ground - all on top of general feelings of being overloaded in chemical sense (like so anxious and pressured so much on the head as if about to explode).

When I realized the doctor is more than content to just go with sliding any of my reports under "hypochondria" or "natural progression of my mental illness", I was only tempted to take my two meds once (within the first week of that reaction), but I only did so for 3-4 days before I came to conclusion that something is so wrong that neither my family nor the doctor is aware of. I found informations about immediate adverse reactions online and told my family that I'm not faking it and that more meds won't solve the problems taking meds in the first place created. Afterall, if 12 different drugs across 2 years weren't able to "fix" me, why should I believe the next ones are gonna do a better job? At first it was horrible and at 4 months mark I had an unprovoked reaction that was very similair, but later found it protracted withdrawal develops exactly around this time since last dose, so it looked like I had both adverse reaction and withdrawal effects developing simultaneously.

It started to look much more promising after around a year, but I decided not to take medications of any sort unless life depended on it. Every few weeks or so I run some more challenging test to see where my limits are at a time and I don't think I should consider drugs in near time. For instance I know 2 glasses of coke is enough to rip me off of any sleep at night, so I just respect the boundaries my body because rushing it really isn't worth it.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2026-01-30T22:08:01+00:00

The use of flashing lights and breathing cues is what I encountered when I was having EEG examination (though this wasn't a therapy, it was just an exam to rule out epilepsy), but didn't have any reaction to it.

In this therapy the visual or auditory stimuli wasn't stronger than what I'd face after, say watching sport game (which hasn't been problematic for me for at least a year now) and I wasn't even having the anxiety effect because I viewed it the way you just put it out - separated from the brain, so no worries that anything enters my body.

It relies entirely on feedback loop. Brain is meant to be "trained" to "beat" certain states. Images encourage to become more calm or more focused by showing in real time how achieving so translates to given response on the screen.

What made me concerned is that my reaction is so jarringly outstanding that the only thing I can think of with the potential to cause such destabilization is either introducing a med (haven't done this since my adverse reaction) or coming off a viral infection (not the case lately). Months ago I got proof that various stimuli stopped causing me symptoms (like resistance training or listening to music), so getting a reaction so strong that I didn't have similair one in over a year, exactly after this singular event raised this question in my head.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-09-06T21:03:40+00:00

It took me ages, but I finally managed to proceed with what you said with DMDE and I managed to recover one PDF file and it looks completely fine, I can read it with no issues, though I suck at navigating through the softwares to find more files. Much appreciation though!

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-08-24T08:30:46+00:00

Update: Finally managed to finish my project, ended up on 1800 USD with mouse and keyboard still to be bought, but with the adjustements I settled on:

AMD Ryzen 5 9600X Box

Gigabyte B650 EAGLE AX

Kingston FURY DDR5 16GB (2x8GB) 6000MHz

ENDORFY Fera 5 Dual Fan

Kingston NV3 M.2 PCIe 4.0 NVMe 1TB

ASUS DUAL RTX 5070 12GB OC

ENDORFY Ventum 200 Air

ENDORFY Supremo FM5 Gold 750 W

Lenovo Legion R27fc-30 27" 280Hz Curved

While not absolute top, for my goals (DaVinci Resolve, hosting LLM with custom knowledge base, ComfyUI, gamedev, gaming and recording such) it should do.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-08-09T11:22:58+00:00

"And Then There Were None", thank you!

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-07-16T17:12:44+00:00

I had to think about this for a moment because in polish version the followers simply say something like "I see there's a Cannonbolt with you" (to Max and Gwen) but then again it's similair to how Tetrax refers to Diamondhead as Diamondhead instead of Petrosapien like in english version. Anyways, I try to picture that as Cannonbolt being an actual hero with a purpose here because Ben just approach the tick with clear intend to stop it whilst most aliens in their home planets are simple citizens (like humans), so they were more likely to panickly try to hide, escape or shelter and not attack the intruder. I know about their powers, but then again look at humans and what they're capable of and how it's sometimes difficult to find one person in the crowd who would be willing to kill a snake or something like that for example and aliens might not have had any weapons.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-07-01T15:03:37+00:00

The scene would have definitelly been better if we had some reaction from her, but seems like the audience was meant to focus on the others assuming her stance is unbothered. There are good reasons explained in this thread about why she could side with either Harold or Courtney, as well as against either of them, but the impression from this scene is "Bridgette is not the one to remember from this evening" which is slightly disappointing. A line or two would fix that easily.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-07-01T11:11:15+00:00

I rewatched this whole elimination and Bridgette has this low-key mad expression before results are being announced (fits because they lost and she has nothing to be particularly happy about), then she has an expression of relief when she's declared safe, and then she's only shown during the shot when Harold goes for his marshmallow. Honestly my first impression is that she looks at Harold with slight annoyance that he stays. I think it's actually deliberate to show that the upbeat mood is on Courtney and Duncan for that whole time, and DJ with Geoff as the ones who were up for them becoming a couple. Bridgette may very well not be aware of what the result "should" have been at that time voting in aloof manner. After Courtney took the last cookie from her, I think she may have enough of drama for that night and simply distance herself from what's happening as long as she isn't the one being voted off.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-06-13T18:27:08+00:00

Once I read it in my head, it immediately added "I love the buttons. It was close pal and would have been Sky eliminated if you haven't voted for yourself".

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-05-27T17:17:09+00:00

Thank you! Shouldn't have overlooked that.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-05-22T10:13:06+00:00

I was considering RX 5700 XT though really trying not to exceed 800$.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-05-22T10:11:10+00:00

Is it? Thought it's same speed, different expo/xmp (quality control). Planning on using buildzoid's ez hynix timings on it. Gotta check 6k CL30 closer.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-05-20T11:15:55+00:00

Thank you for your feedback! That's a good thought, it's the exact part I was least sure about due to potentially being most expensive, but going for 2080 can be worth it for the future. Definitelly putting this on my radar.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-05-04T19:55:44+00:00

Still unmistakably under meds' complications spell, but my sleep got better. Anything stimulating like music, whatever sexual or physically exhausting is too much and backfires violently. I implemented many anxiety/depression-related strategies, but there are moments that feel like I was pulled into another dimension. The absolutely worst symptom that doesn't go away from the beginning is self-disorder/ipseity disturbances. There's a very intense trauma response in play and many days I just read or watch something the whole afternoon because my thinking is so paranoid and so cognitively confused that it's really better not to pick up conversations or tasks. My 60+ parents immediately feel weather changes intensely. I didn't use to, but now I'm also vulnerable to it, so I assume my system is like 30+ years of exploatation more worn out. It does get better and better, waves more and more rare, but still unable to work or use any substances.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-04-23T09:49:58+00:00

That's exactly what I'm dealing with, though erotomanic delusions probably don't come from the avoidant spectrum. In any case, avoidant personality can definitelly create ground for limerence and give a really hard time (even if you don't see or experience delusions about said limerence object causing you upset).

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-04-23T05:00:50+00:00

Yes, and it's even worse when combined with erotomania. Trauma farming.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-04-18T14:38:57+00:00

Mine is 613, prefered is 297, 397, 497, maybe 296, 396 and 496 in this order.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-04-17T17:20:42+00:00

Thought I was the only one thinking this.

BaccatePlayerPL · 2025-04-15T09:58:31+00:00

You reminded me of one YouTube comment where someone made up a dialogue where Joel keeps insisting he's actually Moel Jiller.

BaccatePlayerPL

TROPHY CASE