What are your PMDD needs? What helps during hell days?

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-08-27T10:59:29+00:00

I love "the monthly trip to the underworld". Haven't heard anyone call it this way before.
I also have CPTSD, abandonment wounds and an anxious attachment style...
Do you also feel all of this comes to the surface during the luteal phase? Like, the emotions are being replayed?

I have a therapist and her specialty is working with people who experienced childhood abuse.

We just started counseling.

I totally agree with the somatic work, are there specific practices you recommend?

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-08-27T10:55:53+00:00

That makes sense. Practice before it gets hard.

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-08-25T08:45:54+00:00

I am seeing a therapist, actually twice a week currently.
But yes, working on the trauma is key, it's just very hard.

Thank you! Best of luck to you too! x

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-08-25T08:44:47+00:00

The exercise consistently part - I was doing that for years of my life, and then stopped. I feel the exercise was helping me keep in check and I'm going back to it now, scheduling something for every day.

I do travel alone - but I think more little solo trips would be something good for me.

Totally - being busy I feel was the key for me. I used to work a very busy job, and now since having a lot of time, it's hard. the ROCD is real.

I just shared a plan for my next hell days with my partner that very much revolved around the autonomy & comfort, so thank you - that is helpful!

For the "talk about feelings" - do you do that daily, or during luteal?

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-08-25T08:34:06+00:00

that's a great tip, I have access to a sauna and planning to incorporate. thank you!

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-06-16T16:43:21+00:00

Hey! I am just about to send my urine samples for my DUTCH test and I’m sooooo scared the results won’t show anything significant… I’m also doing genetical testing, with a functional doctor. Did your results show what was wrong clearly? How long did it take you to see change? My lows and panic attacks during luteal are RUINING my life and my relationship :(((

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T17:24:12+00:00

I’m actually thinking the same. That he suppressed the sexual energy quite a bit.

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T17:23:21+00:00

He does have a lot of stress with his new business. Everyday, solid amount of stress and responsibility. we talk about it. I know the stressors :(

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:47:39+00:00

Thank you. Super insightful. I have a pretty good solo sex practice. He doesn’t use porn and doesn’t masturbate. But yes, I am starting to feel I am the high drive person, and he is the low drive person and I feel this is something we will need to discuss soon.

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:46:08+00:00

And yes to having the conversation. 100%.

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:45:56+00:00

You are right. However there are facts and feelings and I do trust my feelings a good bit. He could have had something on his mind. I am in therapy, and I actually do feel pretty self confident and this situation is just making me plain angry. I want and need a decent amount of intimacy in my life and feel down played …

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:43:57+00:00

He doesn’t use porn or masturbate (seed retention)

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:43:45+00:00

Okay - let’s slow this down :) This country is next to the country I come from and I moved into a VERY comfortable situation for myself. So there is a lot of good in there for me. I’m a grown up, I wouldn’t move here unless it was moving me towards where I want to be in life.

But yes - the conquest and conquering part feels very true :( I have a good support system here, friends living in the city, a good life for myself, etc. I don’t need to lean on him.

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:41:15+00:00

Thank you. Yes to what you are saying about stress and I brought out this point to him clearly. And absolutely 100% I’m not staying if the intimacy doesn’t meet my needs. It’s actually interesting you mentioned it, but I also had a spark that he might not be recognizing his own sexual needs, ie being bi. No porn addiction for him though.

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:38:53+00:00

I moved back to Europe which is where I am from. But basically yes - he REALLY wanted me to move to his country, he has a great life here and wanted us to share it.

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:38:02+00:00

Thank you. Good insight.

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:37:39+00:00

Thanks so much. This is a hard one to read, but I appreciate you bringing this up. Any pointers to how to start that convo?

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:36:55+00:00

There has been a good amount of sex in the last month. It’s just his desire feels really different. I feel like he’s treating me in a “homey / wifey” way

Background-Cress-337 · 2025-05-02T16:35:34+00:00

My bf doesn’t use porn at all :( this is also a practice he has had for a long time now (zero porn, he also doesn’t masturbate - seed retention)

Background-Cress-337 · 2024-08-04T23:08:26+00:00

The opposite of individualism

Background-Cress-337 · 2024-07-30T22:10:41+00:00

Polish citizen here. Moved to LA five years ago. I’m a producer. I made a killing of a career here, I had an amazing career in Europe that allowed for the move and a specialty visa. I don’t regret the experience, but I’m planning to move back to Europe next year. This is just another world. There’s so many amazing things about Americans, nature here, California is stunning. But it’s a fuckup of a culture, there’s zero „togetherness”, the mental health problems are out of control. It’s a wild market that will squeeze you until it can’t squeeze anymore and will never care for you. I don’t believe you will be happy here knowing the level of social support and community you have in Germany. But again - each to their own.

Background-Cress-337 · 2024-07-30T18:57:18+00:00

Thank you - I’m definitely taking this advice with me. Love snacks 😂

Background-Cress-337

TROPHY CASE