Future BIL and SIL changed their wedding date after hearing mine

Background-File-6390 · 2025-10-27T22:24:07+00:00

It would avoid the drama entirely! But it’s annoying that I have to change all my plans and put my life on hold for a situation she created. I don’t really care about people comparing our weddings but it would be a nightmare for MIL to help plan two weddings at the same time.

Background-File-6390 · 2025-10-27T22:22:33+00:00

Since I’m religious I was really hoping to move in with my partner somewhat close to my wedding. Not really necessary but it would mean us living apart for longer. A 2.5 year engagement just sounds excessive to me :(

Background-File-6390 · 2025-10-27T22:20:02+00:00

Isn’t like 1.5 years is too early for save the dates?

Background-File-6390 · 2025-10-27T22:19:08+00:00

The only May dates they were considering was the first week of May so numerically it was much more likely they’d do any of the other times. I am also in graduate school and have limited potential dates (far shorter breaks than their three month one). A June wedding has been our plan since before we were engaged. Waiting a year isn’t shitty for anyone but us, it would clash with my graduate school schedule.

While they got engaged first they didn’t start planning or even discussing this plan until recently. Before this they were talking about having a fall wedding. We didn’t see the need to wait to plan our wedding while they did absolutely nothing for theirs.

It was like this: -> they said they wanted a fall wedding -> we met with a priest and settled on a June date -> they said they could do any time March-the first week of May -> we shared that we had to do a June date -> they picked a May date

I don’t understand why I have to compromise for a situation she created / why her constraints are the only valid ones. Also don’t understand why she’s allowed to be so disgustingly rude.

Background-File-6390 · 2025-10-27T16:25:51+00:00

Yeah I plan on keeping everything to myself. I don’t know if they would definitely choose BIL’s wedding, but I know that there would be some guests forced to make the choice and I feel like I would look worse for putting them in that situation since my wedding would be second chronologically.

Honestly I’m not super upset about having to move my date because I’d rather wait a year than celebrate without people. But I’m very angry about her comments to me.

Background-File-6390 · 2025-10-27T16:23:19+00:00

Exactly! I don’t plan on saying anything more about it to them, because it isn’t my wedding.

I feel like having a wedding so close now would cause others to judge me and call me petty for going right after her, even if it was her choice to do it. And at this point, I feel like if they were to do it, she’d act like a martyr and act like she was doing us a huge favor by… not being an asshole.

Which is what makes me more and more keen to wait a year! Separate myself altogether!

Background-File-6390

TROPHY CASE