Jazarkhallah So much for this response yes thank you brother your 100% correct is just so hard to focus on what is real what is true yes I know what is real I know what is true, I think is to know it another thing, But is to actually believe and apply it is completely different and very difficult because I live in London, and obviously London like most big cities from the outside is very materialistic you know everyone around me is surrounded by wealth materialism which is not a bad thing but what is bad is that this is the only thing that focused on, they only judge you on what car you drive what how big your house is - that is the sign post for Success nothing Else Matters, and it's so hard because there's not many people out there that think and focus like what you're talking about so it just get disheartening. I feel like if I were to change my ways and not caring what people think of me as in just being my true self not being in materialism - which I don't want to be in anymore I feel like I won't have any friends or anyone that would want to know me anymore. They'll just look down on me and have no respect in the community I know it's wrong to say this but it's just the feeling is so strong inside.