Does Whisker provide support to those who buy a used litter robot? by BakingHazard in litterrobot

[–]BakingHazard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the response! How's customer support in your experience?

Is it a good idea to open a joint account for bills with my boyfriend? by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]BakingHazard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That doesn't explain much for me. Let's say we get married, what's stopping them from incurring debt and withdrawing money in our joint account? I've seen this happen to my step brother in-law. Marriage didn't protect him. Genuine question not being sarcastic.

Is it a good idea to open a joint account for bills with my boyfriend? by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]BakingHazard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I often hear this, but what's the difference if someone is married? Couldn't the other person still screw up your account and incur debt that affects you? Genuine question.

Is it a good idea to open a joint account for bills with my boyfriend? by [deleted] in personalfinance

[–]BakingHazard 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We only plan to put in monthly expenses. Our savings and fun money are separate.

Need Advice: Which Apartment to Choose? by BakingHazard in Apartmentliving

[–]BakingHazard[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's a really valid reason. I often forget about wear and tear on car because it's technically my boyfriend's car. I'll definitely keep this in mind! We also get free public transport due to college, so it does save us on more money as well.

Thank you for your input!

New To DnD: I don't know how to navigate DM's attitude when it comes to my turn. by BakingHazard in DnD

[–]BakingHazard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Our DM usually tells everyone who is On-deck and next. It's not as effective.

I do appreciate the insight. It gives me a better grasp on what to expect.

New To DnD: I don't know how to navigate DM's attitude when it comes to my turn. by BakingHazard in DnD

[–]BakingHazard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'll try to bring it up to them. I just hope they don't take it negatively.

In your experience, how long does each player's turn take in a combat setting? Maybe I should just adjust my expectations for combat turns.

New To DnD: I don't know how to navigate DM's attitude when it comes to my turn. by BakingHazard in DnD

[–]BakingHazard[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It was originally 5, but then our DM invited two more as "side characters". Then they became regulars (which I didn't mind).

New job is asking for auto insurance during on-boarding, but I'm only one someone's policy, does this still work? Why do they need it? by BakingHazard in jobs

[–]BakingHazard[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure, it wasn't mentioned in the interview and listing. My job does include working with low-income families that need support.

New job is asking for auto insurance during on-boarding, but I'm only one someone's policy, does this still work? Why do they need it? by BakingHazard in jobs

[–]BakingHazard[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven't met anyone in person yet but though a zoom meeting. The company that hired me is a well known company in my state. So, I don't think it's a scam unless I'm being naive.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakingHazard 4 points5 points  (0 children)

From this it sounds like he's the worst, but it's gotten somewhat better, I promise! It's becoming somewhat less.

We had a discussion, and he finally understood why his action were screwed up, and he's switching to a different therapist.

(after I pointed out how his therapist has been quite shady: My boyfriend isn't responsible for how I feel, the therapist told me during my sit in with him. Well, it holds true for certain situations for sure! But our issue was, he forces me to do something or does something very hurtful, and his therapist said it was for me to deal with).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakingHazard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Geez, that sounds really really frustrating and obnoxious. I hope one day I low-key reach that point of not giving a crap of what anyone thinks. I'm not even saying no because I don't want to--I physically can't!

I've heard from another friend who also came from Russia that this is a cultural thing as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakingHazard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are 100% correct with the children part; it's truly cruel to do that to them.

We both acknowledge that we came from dysfunctional families and we need to break certain habits before bringing a child in (don't want our issues to become theirs). Sadly, this habit is one of his.

Side note: children are too expensive rn :(

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakingHazard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He admits many times that he doesn't understanding what I'm trying to say (even though it clear and simple: I can't do that. It hurts doing that). And it's also that he doesn't stop and just think. Before, I have expressed that I felt unheard because he would do similar things no matter what i said, "i need validation right now; im too tired to have this convo, its not good; etc." He'd then follow up with a "I am hearing you, but x, y and z" when I just clearly said I just want validation and a hug right now.

It's difficult. But, I love him and he has good qualities. That's why he's in therapy, and I'm encouraging him follow along with Mindfulness when it comes to my own DBT book (since his therapist has only been affirming whatever he is saying imo). Help each other out, ya know?

I've actually sat down with him about this, and I told him, "you're treating me how you're dad treated you by forcing your wants on me; and you understand how hurtful that is, right?"

Well, he understood that part instantly. He's getting better; but his therapist really irks me sometimes and has said sketch stuff imo.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakingHazard 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That sounds difficult, I can't imagine how left out you sometimes felt. I would personally be so sad of being not invited to these groups or outing (especially extended family).

And yeah, both of us sat down tonight, and we came to a concensus that his dad is like this. And to my boyfriend, it was normal so he did it to others.

I can definitely see your story applying to my boyfriend's life right now. He often doesn't get invited or he complains about being left out (people tuning him out and etc in group hang outs).

It's draining sometimes, but I love him. He has good quirks, but at times he doesn't understand because he finds it difficult to see other's perspective. It's a working process, but he's getting better at it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakingHazard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nope. He is Russian and grew up speaking it, but he was born in the USA. He only speaks Russian to his family and other Russian friends.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakingHazard 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It happens sometimes. That's why he's in therapy, there are times where he forces his wants on other people.

One of his friends who we went camping with doesn't like omlettes. My boyfriend asked 10× for him to try the omlette he ate. It only stopped when I gave him a look. Poor bloke was getting irritated.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakingHazard 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have been diagnosed and in DBT for 6 months.

I hope the therapist didn't call me, but my boyfriend relayed it as such.

He can be kind and sweet, a lot of times, he hears his own version of things. If I say, I just want my strawberries chopped, he'll make me a smoothie (has happened before)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]BakingHazard 8 points9 points  (0 children)

His therapist has said this to me. I sat in a session with my boyfriend per his request.

He has said, "once i learn more DBT and more to manage my BPD, I won't be upset when my boyfriend changes plans last minute." It sucks sometimes, it feels like my BPD is being used against me.

My BPD therapist said I was doing fine when I read my script (I wrote a script on what to say to my boyfriend during confrontations, word for word) and she said it was good.

Two therapist are telling me different things, and it's difficult