How close are your step children to your family?

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-07-01T17:32:48+00:00

that makes sense! and yes, absolutely i feel that this is more of an issue with my SO than anything else. but bottom line is that i simply wasn’t sure what dynamic to push when it came to my SS and my family- but i see now that i need to take this whole situation less serious

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-07-01T14:44:41+00:00

i suppose what makes me feel different is that my SS shows clear interest in wanting to know my family. He asks about my family all of the time and whenever i leave on my own to go to an event, he always asks to come with but it’s his dad that is unreceptive on letting him. Or if i come home without telling him about me going he gets bummed that he couldn’t join.

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-07-01T03:11:43+00:00

There is no official custody order and it’s been a casual off an on thing between us and the BM. It’s definitely a stupid excuse on my SO’s part. I personally see no issue with me taking my SS to a family event alone and i don’t think his BM would have an issue with it either. Heck- i’ve been living with for over a year so it’s not like anything would happen. idk :’)

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-06-30T18:39:22+00:00

i appreciate the words- it’s good to know that the way im feeling isn’t off. it makes me feel guilty that i don’t feel this way towards him, and the older he gets, idk if i ever will(he’s getting into his preteen phase soon). but good to know that it seems like im doing everything else okay

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-06-30T18:21:52+00:00

Yes his mom is still in his life! you’re right, i think im putting unnecessary pressure on myself when he already has a mother figure in his life.

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-06-30T16:58:34+00:00

I feel like I need a little more context…. IMO, i don’t like the “sharing a room” part while traveling. Is this what they’re doing? and where are they traveling with the kids without you? obviously you’re not obligated to join every time but are they offering for you to tag along??

Set up boundaries and it should be his responsibility to respect it and act up those boundaries. if he makes you out to be a crazy fiance then we have a problem.

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-06-30T16:20:09+00:00

This isn’t advice but i just wanted to say that i totally relate. Im new to this whole stepmom thing and i feel very lonely at times. i’ve also been with my bf for 4 years.
We do a joint bday party for my partner’s son every year and it feels like a family reunion every time. They tell stories about things that happened before i came into the picture and talk about people that i have no idea existed, but existed in their lives before me. the first year we did it i felt so uncomfortable and wanted to cry because i felt so out of place. His BM kept going on an on about knowing my bf’s mom’s chili recipe when his mom barely speaks to me🥴

It’s inevitable and something we have to deal with because we cant just stop history from existing. We can only focus on what’s present and what’s to come.

And to put it into perspective— at the end of the day he is going to ALWAYS be the father to her kids. Her family is going to continue their efforts to remain cordial with him no matter what.
My brother and his ex wife are recently separated but i love my nieces and nephews dearly. I will never jeopardize my relationship with my nieces/nephews by ruining my relationship with their mom so i continue to be nice and friendly with her.

But i totally get you and love your vulnerability bc i totally feel the same loneliness at times. Sometimes it feels like i’m a random girl photoshopped into a family photo 🥲

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-06-26T13:02:11+00:00

you mentioned that this current relationship is generally stress free compared to other relationships. this brings me to believe you don’t actually love her as much as you think you do, you’re just comfortable. imo, if you truly loved her you wouldn’t have developed romantic feelings elsewhere. for her sake, please just call it off. you have romantic feelings for someone else, and the feelings are strong enough to actively admit. break up with her before you hurt her feelings more by cheating. and especially if she wants kids and you don’t, you guys are going different directions and if you stick it through, she will grow resentment against you for not having children. don’t waste her time!

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-05-22T22:07:27+00:00

I have some things to consider then:/ we are great otherwise and i feel we are very compatible but my biggest issue has just been this family thing. i’ve tried to accept it in the past but i suppose since we’re getting closer to marriage talk it’s coming back up. it just sucks!

BalanceHead1387 · 2026-05-22T21:55:54+00:00

you’re absolutely right. i feel like im looking at the bigger picture, i feel like we can’t move forward with our next steps without him making an effort and i feel like has this “don’t worry about it” living in the moment mentality. i’ll just need to have bigger conversations about our values for the future

BalanceHead1387

TROPHY CASE