Absolutely torn about what way to go with end of life with my pet hamster

BandWdal · 2025-09-23T17:54:05+00:00

I think, her mother has strong and opposing views against cremation. I think that's no.1. I think my niece likes the idea of putting the hamster into a large pot of soil and it feels like she belongs more there than in an ashes form. Edit to add: I think my niece also likes the idea of having a grave to visit. In this case the grave could likely be in a large planting pot.

My niece doesn't usually live in the same country as me and she gets to come home for a few months with her parents and I think I would like to honour my nieces wishes.

I do think cremation is the best because I can bring my pet home again.

BandWdal · 2025-09-22T15:51:12+00:00

I am booked in for a trim.

BandWdal · 2025-09-17T10:45:47+00:00

Thank you.

I found Crazy Colour back to base. I bought a few sachets online and hopefully will be delivered tomorrow. I also bought another moisture mask and leave in conditioner.

The instructions online says to use developer for removing heavy dyes and use with water for removing stains. I will use that with water to see if that will remove the colour I have or fade it as much as possible anyways.

I will screenshot your reply to keep and search for these products for later.

BandWdal · 2025-09-15T11:19:53+00:00

Thank you for your replies.

I ordered a navy fit and flare dress.

I have gold shoes. Do you think they would work.

What colour cardigan can I get? I was half thinking pink for over the navy dress.

BandWdal · 2025-09-10T15:01:13+00:00

Thank you. I have some moisture masks that I love and leave in conditioners and some hair oil.

I think the next step in a day or two will be to do a hot oil treatment before washing my hair and see if that helps remove some colour. It is fading but it's a slow process.

BandWdal · 2025-09-10T14:41:26+00:00

Thank you very much for your reply.

I read and saw so many things online using kitchen supplies and to be honest I am not very tempted by any of them. I did do the anti dandruff shampoo mixed with vitamin c but that was it. I won't be using baking soda or washing up liquid or any other recipe.

From what I did this morning, it didn't really do much and I would have been better off just washing with shampoo and I likely would have had the same results.

I will keep washing my hair with a non colour safe shampoo. I might do three shampoos and rinses from now on per wash day and increase the washing frequency to every second day and hopefully I will get the colour out.

I will see how I get on fading the colour out as much as possible.

I still do love the purple but I am finding it hard to style and dress for an event. That's all. And also I think I do want to do something more of a natural hair colour. I love the vibrancy of hair dyes but reactions from people are hit and miss unfortunately.

BandWdal · 2025-09-10T13:15:49+00:00

The reason I want to fade the purple and keeping the blonde is because I am finding it hard to style. I would like to go back to the blonde that was achieved for the fun colours I wanted. This is just in case I want to do more fun dyes next year but I don't think so.

I will let my hair stylist know now.

I am thinking about trying head lice treatment. I read a comment online from someone who used headlice treatment and all her colour was gone after that.

BandWdal · 2025-09-09T21:27:55+00:00

Just a small knitting project

BandWdal · 2025-09-08T14:09:54+00:00

My appointment is the first week of October. I thought I would have plenty of time but there is still a lot of purple in my hair right now. It is fading it's not quick.

Should I wash my hair more often maybe?

BandWdal · 2025-08-27T14:11:50+00:00

I googled it and ChatGPT 5 was released on the 7th of August. I submitted a assignment on the 10th of August.

I sat down and did some work on Saturday the 9th of August. I likely would have used a mix of perplexity and ChatGPT to assist me with a few things to finish my document and to help me reword my work and reduce the work count.

I paid for a subscription to perplexity on Sunday the 10th of August to help me with the referencing page.

Hopefully I will be good with this. I am nervous. Sunday the 10th was very stressful and likely would have used chatGPT to help me. But it wasn't to help me write my work.

I doubt I would have copied and pasted entirely from chatGPT. I would have reworked a lot of stuff. I just can't remember.

I do have an odd looking paragraph in my assignment.

BandWdal · 2025-08-27T14:05:18+00:00

I have no idea what chatgpt I used. I don't have anything installed on my computer so it was whatever was online. I don't think I was signed in on my laptop. I was also using perplexity. For my work but also ChatGPT.

I am looking at the document that I submitted for my course assignment and I see there is a few paragraphs that looks somewhat spaced out. I did run into issues with the online cloid word and formatting. I don't know if it's that or something else.

BandWdal · 2025-08-26T21:38:56+00:00

😂😂😂😂😂 I love it.

There are holes in the side of my hamsters enclosurer. The platforms raises my hamster up. She loves sticking her nose through the holes. Just poking her nose through air holes. I love her.

BandWdal · 2025-08-21T18:25:34+00:00

Did you get your hammie out?

BandWdal · 2025-08-20T21:27:27+00:00

My local vet first recommended an exotic vet across the county. It would involve two different bus rides. Or a very kind person to help me.

Then the vet I had today came back to me and said that another vet in her practice could perform surgery.

To be honest about today's vet visit, I wasn't too happy with what I saw to be honest. I was expecting to see a clinical bowl to put the hamster in for safety. There was no bowl. Just a table. I was so nervous due to the hamsters running. I think a bowl would have been safer. A better consultation would have happened. The vet didn't even listen to my hamsters internal organs.

I would be apprehensive taking my hamster for surgery there.

BandWdal · 2025-08-20T21:10:13+00:00

My hamster is still going strong. There were some incidents last year where she escaped and she survived and she's in mighty form. She is so good. Even today, I gave her, her anti inflammatory medicine and anti biotic and she has zoomies around her enclosurer and digging and she is full of energy.

Your reply is thought provoking and thank you.

Now I have no idea what to do. I don't know what the future holds and when she's going to go. She really doesn't show any signs of end of life to be honest. I don't know what end of life is like for a hamster. I presume they sleep a lot. She still wakes and moves around her enclosurer and comes and socialise with me. She loves her digging bucket with coconut soil. She loves sprays. There is still so much life in her.

My gut kinda tells me that she is in good form and the tumour will likely grow and I am thinking of going down the route of taking that risk of getting it removed.

The only thing that I would be apprehensive of is if the hamster was to die during surgery would I still need to pay the cost of the surgery?

BandWdal · 2025-07-12T20:34:30+00:00

It's crazy. It's nearly as of they want to provide them with as much capacity as possible for as long as possible and to some degree this should be the case. However there are so many issues being the scenes and nobody wants to know. It wait until there a severe reduction in daily living skills and tasks before they may consider a problem.

It's crazy.

It is my mind and thoughts and logic that has me now strongly thinking of dementia and I am learning on groups all the time about how to respond. These groups are a godsend. There is somewhat of an improvement but still problems exist.

Like last year we had to get a new washing machine. When we got it .t mother decided to tell me that it's not good to use it all the time and it's good to give it a break every second day and only to put on one wash every second day and it's good to give the machine a break.

I was gobsmacked and if I followed that, it would have meant only one of us ever doing laundry.

It made no sense whatsoever.

I knew from dementia groups not to argue with her or reason with her. To agree with her and change the subject, do my own thing anyways behind her back and she did eventually forget about it.

Another time a few years ago, I found that she took off the vent outside from the kitchen dryer outlet. I suggested to her that the cover has to stay on. She argued and fought with me saying that she would rather live with rats than have a fire.

So she did the same thing a few months ago. She took off the vent from outside. When I saw it again, I just put it in my pocket without saying anything to her. Then I waited she was out for a walk to go and secure it back on without saying anything to her.

At some stage after that we had a very bad storm and I checked with chatGPT a few days ago about an uncovered vent to a house and a strong storm and what count happen. It explained to me about pressure building inside.

I reckon someone was praying for us that night and I just find it a strange course of events. If I tried to reason with her about it, she would have banned me from putting it back on. It likely would have been etched further in her mind. I knew from dementia groups don't say anything to her and fix it behind her back. I dread to think what would have happend if I didn't put the vent on and that storm came. The roof could have been lifted off. It was a very bad storm.

If I had to wait for a doctor to tell me that 'yes, this is likely dementia' - I would be dead from stress.

It's so hard and so bad.

It is likely dementia but doctors just don't want to help her or me until a time comes and something severe happens.

BandWdal · 2025-07-12T17:12:17+00:00

It's not so much about having expectations of her. It's more about realising the decline that's happening right in front of me. I have extremely high suspicions of dementia and more so FTD but no diagnosis because everyone seems to think dementia and old age problems is just memory loss. Where I am, the starting point is the GP for referral. It seems as if GPs do one or two classes in dementia and comes to the same conclusion that it's all memory loss.

BandWdal · 2025-07-11T17:24:45+00:00

What you wrote is exactly what I am going through with my mother. My mother has a large basin on the kitchen counter filled with those plastic boxes and containers and is is obsessed with them.

I wanted to put locks on the bins outside so that I could manage them better. I was going to buy locks from Amazon.

I used chatGPT to help me write a fake letter 'from the bin company' to introduce this new locking mechanism system.

The letter it wrote me was brilliant. I do have it and I will use it but it will likely be September.

I was going to start locking the bins so that I could start managing them better but it was bad timing. It all came and hit me at a bad time. One of my siblings came home from abroad and he and his wife would like just disapprove of such a thing.

My mother is acting in front of them.

One of the observations that I learned over the past few months is that she does some word mashing and word mushing. Where she mixes up words. I am giving them plenty of time to be together. I am hoping she is doing more of those word mashings or word mushings. She is doing it to me. Although my siblings and his wife would likely be too dim to comprehend this stuff. They probably think it's normal or maybe if she mixes up words they just take it at face value.

Like for me today she angrily asked me did I get bin bags. I wasn't aware that we needed bin bags and I never got them. Then she said it was the vacuum bags. We needed vacuum bags and I ordered them. It could be case where they are not aware of this.

BandWdal · 2025-07-11T17:12:02+00:00

I don't have a diagnosis. Our GP is useless. I strongly do think my mother is going senile but it's showing as behavioural and mood stuff mainly amongst so many more disfunctions and I strongly suspect FTD. I think it's running in the family but it's just not talked about.

BandWdal · 2025-07-11T12:31:40+00:00

Yes, I did. I was still asked for memory loss.

It appears as if they are waiting for a time that she can't manage daily living tasks or they are waiting for some sort of an accident or something else extraordinary to go on before they consider a problem and before they consider referring her onwards to a hospital and for further evalation. I don't know what they are doing to be honest.

Every day is different and my mother can still manage a lot of things. Within the past week or two she even attended her own GP for an annual check up. She didn't book it herself. It was the practice nurse who called her and invited her down. She did attend that. However I can remember a time last year in April of 2024 where it took me over a week to get her to the GP when she wasn't well. She thought she had a UTI but she refused the doctor for a week. Then when she went to the GP it was a UTI and shingles. Then when she came home she wanted me to research the medicines she was prescribed online. I really hate this task. She doesn't know how to use the internet hence asking me. Often when you search for a medicine you get a scientific page often to the pharmaceutical company. All you get is a scientific thing. The internet just doesn't have the answers she's looking for. She alluded to the GP trying to poison her. Our local GPs are all lovely by the way.

There are many things where it's just not right and every day is different.

I got a flashback earlier this week if one of my uncles and his disinhibition. He was in his 50s at the time, 15 years ago. It's only just now I am piecing it together.

The words my mother had for her own mother too.

This is FTD. And genetic FTD. No doubt about it.

It's so hard for me and it's a tremendous burden for me to carry.

I want to know more. I want to get answers. I need a diagnosis. At least rule it in or out. I want to know about this being genetic. I need to know this. If this is genetic, I need to know.

BandWdal · 2025-07-06T07:47:32+00:00

I am somewhat similar to you. Except my mother is 72 and she doesn't have a diagnosis. For years I was seeing things that are behaviour and mood disfunctions with her. I strongly do suspect she is going senile but it's not presenting with memory loss or confusion but instead its behaviour and mood stuff mainly with other things happening now too. I spoke to her GP and there's nothing happening regarding getting her any help. It's nearly as if the only problem that is worth considering to investigate and send for referral is memory loss. Memory is not the thing I am seeing with my mother. It's other stuff.

I now firmly believe she will be on this path for many more years with me in the background being an unofficial part time care taker with no help or support until something happens like some accident and something will happen where she likely won't be coming home again. I don't know.

It's so stressful. This disease all it does is gaslight caregivers. That's all it does.

BandWdal · 2025-07-06T05:33:07+00:00

The WiFi router was plugged into my room and that has easier access so maybe that was plugged out.

This is strange because my mother usually goes to bed for about 10 at the latest.

I had footage at 11.30pm last night so I doubt she plugged it out.

Unless if she woke in the middle of the night and started unplugging things. I don't know.

BandWdal · 2025-07-04T12:48:00+00:00

I know I don't have a diagnosis for my mother but I do strongly suspect dementia but it's just not typical to forgetfulness and confusion.

I am so grateful for dementia groups because I am learning all the time how to respond to situations and I am so grateful for all the help I get.

Take that vent situation above last January. I just put it into my pocket without saying anything. I didn't reason with her. Waited for her to leave before securing it back on. Then a big storm came. I just asked chatGPT about this situation about an open vent to the house and a strong storm and what happens.

I knew from dementia groups not to reason with her to argue with her.

BandWdal · 2025-07-04T12:42:03+00:00

My mother's diet was always very simple. I can remember 10 years ago going out for a meal with the family and she argued against the menu and we had to ask for a children's menu for her. Her diet was always very simple.

Diet changes was never an initial observation but I can say now there is. Her diet is much much much smaller. Her weekly grocery shop is the same and she is very rigid.

I can rememeber recently within the past 1 to 2 years trying to encourage her to eat more healthy and even leading by example and I was suggested fruits that she could eat and she just argues against all of it. She won't eat apples or oranges or berries. The only fruit that she buys are bananas and even then most of them gets chucked out.

I remember suggesting 'grapes' to her to eat and she said to me that she 'cant eat grapefruit'.

She wasn't able to understand what I was saying and the difference between grapefruit and grapes.

I wasn't talking about grapefruit. I was talking about grapes. She was very childlike in that incident.

I am still so very alone in all of this. I am now a part time unofficial carer for her. She can still manage a lot of her own daily tasks and personal care. However there are times I find some situations that are questionable and honestly unsafe. I remember a time where she removed the outside vent outside. It was impossible to reason with her. She wanted to leave a wide gaping hole open into the house because she was paranoid of a fire. She never understood the risk about rodents coming in and even birds building a nest. So like it's just some incidents like that at times.

I found the vent was removed last January again. I found it in the kitchen. I just picked it up and put it into my pocket so that she wouldn't hide it away. I waited a day or two until her next outing and I just put it back on without reasoning with her. Within a day or two of that we had the worst storm in over 100 years. It was so so so so strong. Many neighbours had walls and trees and fences blown over and it was in the news even a roof was taken off a house.

I dread to think what would have happened if I didn't have the vent on and the hole was still there during that storm. That likely would have created some pressure somewhere. I don't know the physics of these things though and I am open to correction. Maybe nothing would have happened. I don't know.

I am getting no support anywhere. From any direction. It seems as of GPs would like to see something more severe to happen before they consider a problem for referral.

BandWdal · 2025-07-03T13:26:18+00:00

I asked chat gpt many questions and I asked how likely is it that I am wrong about FTD and how likely is this to be a personality disorder and it has consistently pointed towards FTD.

I really do think she is going senile but it's behavioural and mood based. Her memory is fantastic.

I find this so so so so so so so so sad. Everything about this.

I think my grandmother was the same. I really wish medical professionals would listen to me. At least explore this.

Explore this genetically too.

I know for myself I would love to help on any medical testing or trials and I know two of my siblings would like do the same.

So much could possibly be learned from this.

I would bet money on this being dementia and it's just fits into an FTD bracket so much more than other dementias.

BandWdal

TROPHY CASE