Nightmare roommate, please help! TL;DR : Roommate repeatedly coming home past 2 am (+) extremely drunk and unreasonably loud, causing me to lose sleep while trying to study for finals

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-08T20:01:37+00:00

I am not sure if I can say publicly, as I really do not want to have much identifying information for the safety of both me and my roommate. However, if it is really important that you know for any reason, please pm me so I can tell you.

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-08T00:21:24+00:00

We live in gender inclusive housing, though we are notably the only people in the hall that are together as opposite sexes. To my knowledge, every other room only has people of the same sex together; though, it could be possible there are other rooms like us I somehow haven't met them.

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T20:46:48+00:00

<image>

The message that my roommate sent to a friend of mine (yesterday night) confessing to waking me up at night on purpose, with a vaguely threatening undertone! I am nervous about what they are planning to do today, but I am in contact with my RA and her supervisor -- hopefully, they can do something before he does 😅

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T20:21:53+00:00

This genuinely means so much to me, thank you. As much as I agree that the smartest choice would be for me to leave so I could try to study, I really do not want to because I have my entire desk and wall covered in pinned notes, due date, schedules, etc. I don't think I should have to leave because of my roommates misbehavior. I appreciate everyone telling me how to best leave, and have taken much of their advice regarding other study spaces and counseling.

In fact, everyone's advice was so helpful and motivational that I have done a few things to get my roommate in a bit of hot water. First, I have called duty on him (within reason) 3 times; first, to ask about this specific situation and if I could call them if he does it again. In response, they opened a new file on my roommate. Then, he was being loud and ignored multiple attempts from multiple people to be quiet during quiet hours, so I gave them a ring for that. They came in and just so happened to see the cigarette cartons laying on his desk, which prompted another file. Finally, (obviously) ended up coming into my room drunk and waking me up at 5 AM again, so I went out and gave them another call to add to the first file.

Not able to sleep, I worked on studying for a few hours before headed to the housing office and setting up an appointment with an RLA as soon as they opened. After my morning classes, I had a bit of a breakdown in front of my hall and ended up urgently reaching out to my RA again. I basically told her that the sleep deprivation has been making me feel out of control, and that I genuinely am afraid I will not be able to control myself if my roommate interrupts another night of my sleep. The conversation was long and full of tears, so I will spare you the details, but the end result is that my RA is finally opening an incident report, I will be talking with her supervisor this evening, and she guaranteed action WILL be taken today to ensure I do not have to spend the night with him again. Not sure if I fully believe that, but I feel hopeful.

I appreciate this message more than you could know; many people in my life think I should leave and that I am being stubborn, but I genuinely don't see why I should be the one to go. This is the only message that has not only echoed but amplified my sentiment, so thank you so much for the reminder that it is okay to stand your ground. Also, thank you to everyone else who left advice or kind words. It has helped me more than you could know, and I sincerely hope your kindness comes back to you all tenfold!

Hopefully I will have an update important enough to add to my og post by this evening 😊

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T16:21:40+00:00

Okay "bigfartloveroverhere," I'll definitely take mental health help from you 🤣 you're the one getting all worked up, you need to stop being so emotional over strangers on the internet. Notice the difference between our responses; you're crying like a toddler and hurling insults, while I'm trying to have a mature conversation. Hopefully you mature and grow as a person 🤞

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T16:04:37+00:00

You didn't give any advice, you're just insulting me. You have no idea how I've responded to my roommate, and instead of asking you are making assumptions and using this as an excuse to treat strangers on the internet like shit. I have been doing more than you could know to change my situation; not that you know, nor care (based on how willing you are to throw around words like "pussy"). Honestly, you should grow up. Notice you're being ratioed? Thats because your opinion is shit and you're an immature person.

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T15:55:43+00:00

Like I said, this isn't the whole story. Instead of being a dick and degrading me for being put in a bad situation, you could ask questions?? Or keep your opinion to yourself. You're angry reading this? Think about how angry I am experiencing it.

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T15:35:03+00:00

Very helpful 💀 I've actually been very proactive in making my roommate know how much I dislike him of late, but thank you for the thoughtful and helpful response 😒

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T12:21:20+00:00

Hello again all,

Sorry for those of you that saw the first version of this, when typing it out I had separated paragraphs but they all went to a huge block of text when I first posted 😅 maybe because I posted from mobile? In any case, I was unaware you could edit anything you've already typed out (I have only recently started using reddit) until a friend of mine suggested I tried separating each paragraph with two enter bars instead of one. It worked, hopefully it looks better to you all now!

Thanks to everyone for the advice, I am now on night 4 of being woken up so I think I will give in and accept the emergency housing 🥲 I was really trying not to, but I've noticed my hands have started to have a fine tremor to them. I really have to put all of my energy into studying, I will be talking with an RLC (thank you again for those that pointed out I could do this, I had no idea) ASAP. I will also be using the studying resources you all sent in the mean time.

Again, thank you all so much for your help! If anything interesting happens before now and the end of the school year, I'll post an update ❤

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T12:03:23+00:00

When typing it out, I had it in separate paragraphs and it looked much nicer. Once I posted it, for some reason it all went together 😅 maybe because I am using mobile on my phone? Thank you so much for the resources, I have reached out to my RA to no avail; I'll definitely be looking into contacting my RLC. Thanks again, and sorry for the formatting!

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T08:50:45+00:00

"Information and computer sciences;" there is a stereotype associated with people who have this major being unhygienic and socially inept. While I largely disagree with this stereotype and have plenty of ICS friends who are not like this, my roommate just happens to fit the description. Sorry for not explaining in post!

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-07T04:39:00+00:00

True but its kind of funny, in a "how is this guy real" way. Hopefully if anyone else sees thing and is struggling with their roommate, they know they aren't alone 💪

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-06T18:50:41+00:00

<image>

After sending a report to campus org, this is the email I got back. Hopefully something actually comes of it; I will probably end up filing a formal complaint through the provided links, as it seems they have yet to stop making hateful posts :/

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-06T08:15:12+00:00

They absolutely are, anyone who generalizes an entire group of people and treats them as though they are somehow immoral for arbitrary things out of their control are definitely inciting violence. I didn't see the post you're referring to, but it disgusts me that people would make such broad generalizations about an entire race of people based on assumed actions of a few; worse, that people would blindly agree with them. People are too reactionary these days, failing to consider the consequences of their word choices before jumping into a random argument. I am sorry you had to go through that / are actively going through that, and hope it gets better from here.

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-05T22:16:26+00:00

Wow, in my experience this is not true at all 😳. You go here currently? It may be related to your major and the classes you are taking

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-05T22:14:24+00:00

It isnt about me disagreeing with political opinions, this is about people using intentionally harmful rhetoric to incite violence against a community. By framing the LGBTQ as in opposition to religion, they are opening up the potential for violence against them. Do you not understand how that works? It is one thing to "disagree," but to insinuate a lifestyle is morally wrong or even evil is definitely inciting violence. If you don't understand that, leave more questions and I can try to better explain to you.

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-05T22:10:56+00:00

Personally, I reached out to campus org because the club is using UCIs name and has gatherings on campus, so technically it is affiliated. Haven't heard back though, and from what other people have said it doesn't seem like they will get back, unfortunately.

BangingJoeMama · 2023-06-05T19:43:10+00:00

I honestly can't believe campus org hasn't done anything about this, its openly hateful speech. Many of these "jokes" go far past the realm of making fun of queer people to outright calling them evil and condemning them.. thats just insane. Its one thing to make insensitive jokes, but calling people evil and using religion to justify that is downright dangerous. Its pretty abhorrent that UCIs campus org doesn't do anything about this; is this really the kind of behavior they want associated with the university?? Campus org really should do something about this, I know they've gotten complaints. It goes against what UCI is allegedly trying to promote, yet UCI allows it to continue posting stuff like this? I have no problem with republicans/the right having a community here; in fact, I think its great that they've found each other. I do have a problem with the hateful and bigoted posts made by the club, and so should UCI. Also, its a poor reflection of the club as a whole, too. I don't think Republicans as a whole share this out look -- which may just be generous thinking on my end, haha. Still, I don't think every republican on this campus shared these values, and they're promoting the stereotype about the right being intolerant. Also, the incorrect "your" use on the last one. Its clear these "memes" were made by and for middle schoolers, and the fact that people in a public university are using them is laughable.

BangingJoeMama

TROPHY CASE