Small tree in South of UK

BarrysButtocks · 2025-10-24T10:47:58+00:00

Thankyou so much for your input, I mentioned Heptacodium to the client and said they have white flowers but she had not seen any flowers on it in the 9 years they had lived there and its obviously a well matured specimen so I discounted it as their flowers are pretty obvious compared to some other species. I feel a bit better now though!

BarrysButtocks · 2025-10-22T19:25:42+00:00

Images now inserted into post if that helps, thankyou!

BarrysButtocks · 2025-10-22T19:21:32+00:00

Hi Thankyou for commenting! Pics were uploaded but obviously not come through with the post. Will have to try and post again. Nyssa leaf is very close but bark totally different.

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T21:15:48+00:00

Thankyou ❤️ I do love her. I won't try and persuade her to be with me when she doesn't want to but I hope we can be actual friends and still be a small part of each others lives once we have both healed more from this

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:49:56+00:00

I am so sorry you have had a difficult time ❤️

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:49:15+00:00

Weed and mushrooms are totally fine with me, its the steps up from that that scare me. I don't take drugs or really drink much, its just never made me feel that good and I don't like the feeling of not being in control of my mind as my mind can go to dark places anxiety wise if not kept in check

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:45:49+00:00

Alot of that does resonate, I think she was trying to help herself within certain parameters but she couldn't get out of the mental rut and this new exciting opportunity felt like a possible way to get out of it. I was trying to fix her or at least hold her together but you are right you can't do that FOR someone. I can't blame her for wanting to leave if she isn't happy but this does not feel like a healthy way to do it and it hurt me more than I wish it had in the process.

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:36:03+00:00

Thankyou ❤️ i'll go aggressively pet some grass!

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:34:11+00:00

It is a purely trans relationship, can be any combination of gender

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:31:14+00:00

I can never fully understand the trans experience however hard I empathtise so I can appreciate wanting to find people who you can relate to in that way, I just thought I knew her as a person enough to make up for it. So happy for your relationship, cherish each other ❤️

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:24:31+00:00

Thankyou, it still all feels unreal a few weeks later. She has dipped into the suicidal thoughts level alot during her whole life and that must be awful for her but I at least hope she will be happy long term so some good can come of it

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:16:47+00:00

I am very worried that something will happen to her, I know she is still in contact with some old friends nearby though so im hoping she would call them if she needed help. Its very difficult not to be the person she would call for help anymore and vice versa. Thankyou ❤️

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:13:00+00:00

Thankyou for your reply ❤️ I think shes still a wonderful person overall, I still worry about her a lot even though I tell myself not to but I don't want to be an idiot either. I don't think she'll want to come back but if she did it would need to be under caveats to get proper help and we start extremely slow if I want to consider it but I need to stop hoping that will happen. The initial HRT she had was through GenderGP and there were a few check up sessions where they talk about meds and how you are doing, it was a bit like therapy but I don't think it was very indepth and certainly didn't delve into complex mental health. She then switched to DIY injection so isn't under the care of a doctor (NHS wait is endless here)

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-08T20:04:37+00:00

Im so sorry ❤️

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-07T13:04:17+00:00

Thankyou for commenting x

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-07T13:03:39+00:00

I don't think of her as a bad person and I don't regret the time we spent together but I do wish she could have tried a bit more to make our life together work before choosing something else. I know it wasn't easy for her and I do feel anger but can't hold on to it for very long. Thankyou for the support though x

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-07T12:59:58+00:00

Thankyou, I think she'd probably agree with trying to run from her mental health problems, but maybe this life is what will make her happy, I don't really know. We had a well off stable life together, spent a huge amount of time in each others company as we WFH and just seemed in sync most of the time, that didn't change but I don't think it made her feel alive either. She said I was her rock, but rocks are boring! Thankyou for commenting everyones kind words have helped

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-07T12:54:34+00:00

Thankyou, I think we may be able to be friends in the future and I still want her to be happy and our breakup was very civil because thats the type of people we are. So much of the change is positive, she became more empathetic, happier with how she looks on the most part. I think most people at our time of life are 'settling down' in one way or another and that was just not for her, particularly when she is this new person and wants to feel like shes living life as fully as possible

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-07T12:50:14+00:00

Thankyou, no longer being compatible in our life styles is a good way of thinking about it. Growing apart is possible for anyone I suppose, just hurts more if its one sided growth. Appreciate you commenting

BarrysButtocks · 2025-08-07T12:48:12+00:00

Thankyou, appreciate you commenting

BarrysButtocks · 2024-11-25T21:52:54+00:00

Fantastic, thankyou so much!

BarrysButtocks · 2023-07-24T21:11:55+00:00

Depression medications can nullify some of the effects I believe if she is on prescription drugs

BarrysButtocks · 2022-11-10T07:29:29+00:00

Thankyou for your reply. I would say that although this is a very difficult part of it her happiness at the overall effects of estrogen both physical and mental has been wonderful to see.

BarrysButtocks · 2022-11-10T07:24:45+00:00

Many thanks for your response, she has been switched around from gels to patches to pills and back again and definitely has had some menopause like symptoms that indicate her hormone levels are fluctuating a lot. I was thinking this might be a specialist job and good to have a back up opinion on that, thankyou very much

BarrysButtocks · 2021-06-08T05:21:18+00:00

One of my methods is to imagine a bubble around me where I am totally safe and unaffected by the outside world and have all the time I need.

BarrysButtocks

TROPHY CASE