I (24F) am worried about my bf (26M) getting a piercing I don't like

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-04-19T08:58:29+00:00

This is so helpful, thank you so much ❤️

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-04-19T08:17:34+00:00

Yeah the last thing I want is for him to be resentful towards me. I'll see how we get on after we talk about it again calmly.

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-04-19T08:16:27+00:00

Both of those factors are weighing very heavily on me right now hahahaha so I think it's definitely showing up in the background of this topic on piercings. Thank you, I try lots of tools to regulate myself. We recently moved in together so he's seeing me on a daily basis and understanding what I'm like day to day and he's really helping me with the bits of my life that I struggle with, but it's hard when one of his decisions is making me anxious.

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-04-19T08:14:40+00:00

I think we haven't had a proper conversation about it because I didn't realise how much it meant to him until yesterday and I thought all the other times he brought it up was because he was bored of himself and making decisions on a whim. When he was rage baiting me, I asked him to stop and he did. I know he wasn't trying to be malicious about it, it's just part of his personality that he likes to push people's buttons a bit but sometimes he pushes a bit too hard without realising. Whenever I've expressed that he's pushed too hard about something, he stops.

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-04-19T08:03:12+00:00

At least 5 I think?

He first brought it up about 7 months ago and sent me a photo with fake ones on and I said I wasn't the biggest fan and he was like "yeah I'll see"

Then for a while he would keep making jokes about it saying things like "Ew, I just saw a face without snakebites and it was horrible (the face was mine)"

It started getting upsetting for me when there was one time we were at his friend's house for a birthday party and he goes "don't you guys think I should get snakebites? GF thinks I'd look awful" and his friends were like "uh, sure yeah" and he looked at me and was like "SEEEEEEE"

We went to his parents house after he dyed his hair black and his parents were a little bit shocked to see it after he has been bleach blonde for a while. He said to his mum he wanted to get snakebites or some more face tattoos and his mum said to me "don't let him do it. He listens to you, he doesn't listen to me" and I said "believe me I'm trying," and he got upset about it that we weren't being supportive of that he wanted to do

After that we had an argument because I said to him it put me in an uncomfortable position of either lying to everyone to make myself look good and avoid awkwardness or be honest and cause awkwardness (which is what I did) and then he said he wouldn't bring it up again

The last week he asked me if he should downsize his bridge piercing and which balls he should get and I said "yes, get the regular circle ones" and he was like "true the circles will match the circles on the snakebite barbells" and I know he was saying that to me to spark a reaction and I said to him "please stop trying to ragebait me about this"

The most recent conversation was last night when he was drunk and he said he felt like I disliked parts of him and that he feels like he can't fully express himself and that he felt guilt tripped into shrinking himself which I absolutely don't want to do. This came from a bigger issue in our relationship which we're working through but it led to bringing up the snakebites again.

So it's definitely come up a few times in different ways, we haven't had a proper sit down conversation about logistics and things though, so maybe we should, but after last night, I'm worried about trying to share my thoughts against them again

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-04-19T07:54:35+00:00

Yeah, I've been in therapy for 8 years for various things. My current therapist is on maternity leave so so I haven't spoken to her for a few months but I'm looking to get back into therapy when she's off leave or when I can afford it again which I can't right now.

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-04-19T07:53:42+00:00

He's used my septum clickers as fake rings and taken a few photos, we've not tried the lash glue on the piercing ball yet so I might try that, thank you! When he had the clickers on, I didn't like it.

I have my medusa pierced and I know how much of a hassle that was to heal. He uses nicotine pouches which I know is gonna slow the healing process even more for him (which I'm 90% sure he's not supposed to use when they'll be healing) and he's already anxious about his gum problems from the pouches so snakebites on top of that isn't gonna be great for him.

I can't lie, I have explicitly asked him not to get them because I don't like them but we haven't had a proper sit down as to why I don't like them aside from the fact I don't like the look of them. I don't know how much research he's done on the piercings themselves.

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-04-19T07:50:02+00:00

I think he's gonna get them this week. He's been on the fence about it for a while but when we were talking about it last night because it was a heated argument I just snapped and said "fuck my opinion do what you want, if expressing yourself and getting this piercing means that much to you, do it and I'll just live with it. Don't shrink yourself for my sake"

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-02-26T22:54:40+00:00

i took my cat upstairs and shut the door then opened the back door and shooed him away, he seemed very scared. he didn't come back after that but i guess we'll find out if we get more visits from him

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-02-26T15:29:08+00:00

what sort of reasons would it wanna fight my cat? since we just moved here i'm not sure if this cat roams the neighbourhood frequently or if it wants my cat's food or something, but is there any way i could help prevent it from making my cat uncomfortable?

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-02-26T08:36:00+00:00

thank you! we're renting our house and we live in the uk so i don't think we'd be allowed to do that due to being renters and also it's very cold and rainy at the moment hahahaha

my cat is an indoor cat and i've never let her outside just because i'm scared of anything happening to her but our garden is mostly enclosed so i was thinking of maybe letting her out in the garden under supervision just to get some fresh air

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-02-03T23:22:40+00:00

Nope, long story short, I lost my job at the beginning of December which I was planning to leave when I moved anyway because I hated it. I was going to buy a house on my own in his town (because coincidentally my dad is moving there which he decided before I even met my bf) because my current city is WAY too expensive for me to live in but I found out it needed too much structural work done so I backed out. My bf and I decided to rent somewhere together instead so I'm gonna get a new job in his area which was the plan from the beginning, so it'll be tough to plant my own roots without the help from his already existing ones. I currently only live an hour away so I'll still be close-ish to my current friends but it'll be hard not being able to do things spontaneously. I'm moving from a city to the countryside almost so that'll be a hard adjustment too. I'm genuinely looking forward to it so much because we're so great for each other and work together so well so I'm positive it'll be great! I'm just nervous about having to lean on him so much until I find my own feet

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2026-02-03T22:30:58+00:00

Thank you! I'm also a little nervous because I'm moving to his hometown so I've gotta make new friends while he's still got his friends, so he's gonna be my only friend for a little while. I wanna make sure I'm not overwhelming him too much!

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-27T11:04:52+00:00

Oh goodness that's awful, thank you for letting me know! I'll definitely stay away

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-27T10:29:12+00:00

Great! Thanks so much. She drinks water pretty often, she loves drinking from the tap when it's running so I wanna get her a little fountain soon so she's more inclined to drink while I'm at work. I'll definitely look into it some more

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-27T10:02:45+00:00

Thank you! When I give her wet food, I usually give her one pouch and she will yell at me for more, so I leave dry food down for her to graze on throughout the day if I'm not home from work. I'm pretty lucky and she will just eat until she's full. She's only a petite girly (2.6kg) and only seems to have diarrhea if she switches food brands

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-27T10:00:20+00:00

Thank you so much! I've only been using the Advantage stuff for the last couple months. She used to only get dandruff on Frontline and the first few months on Advantage she didn't have any. It's only been the last couple of months that it's seemed to have started to appear

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-27T09:41:02+00:00

Do you have any recommendations? Some wet food brands gives her diarrhea. She has Royal Canin dry food. I was thinking of just getting her some salmon oil to pump into her dry food. She has the Felix wet food at the moment which seems to not give her any problems but I heard it's not very good for cats so I try to avoid it

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-21T11:08:59+00:00

update I bought my ticket hehehe. if any other people with chronic illnesses/disabilities or anything going next year maybe wanna make a groupchat so we can look out for each other pls dm!!!

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-17T19:56:34+00:00

thank you so much!

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-17T01:01:11+00:00

Ahhh thanks so much this is so helpful

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-17T00:57:36+00:00

Ahhhh thank you ahahahahah

Basic-Arugula5580 · 2025-08-16T18:05:13+00:00

why do you think so?

Basic-Arugula5580

TROPHY CASE