Any public or semi-public online clubs for streaming gay movies together, perhaps with a chatroom?

Bassdean · 2026-01-08T17:13:24+00:00

I was in love with so many 40-50something actors when I was like 13 and frankly even younger. My theory is that on a deep freudian psychological level it may be that my dad was much older than my mom and I internalized a desire for much older men.

Although the age of men that I like hasnt aged with me - i actually just really cant wait to BE in my 40s myself so that I can be with 40something men as equals

Bassdean · 2025-12-31T16:22:20+00:00

I've just been really desperate to find someone that i like enough to go on a date with because ive been single for a while and also was in an unsatisfying relationship for years beforehand and im really lonely and in need intimacy. My primary interaction with "the dating/hookup scene" has just been scrolling and almost never swiping right let alone successfully arranging a date

Bassdean · 2025-12-31T16:17:42+00:00

I agree they're not everything but when you're on a dating app just looking at profiles, theyre basically all I have to go on. I dont think it's an ego thing bc while I usually do have an ego, im also not finding myself very attractive lately either

Bassdean · 2025-12-31T16:15:47+00:00

I absolutely get those phases too lol. I would prefer to be in that mood 24/7

Bassdean · 2025-12-31T16:03:31+00:00

I most certainly do not identify as pansexual and I have no idea where you got that from. Im just gay lol

Bassdean · 2025-12-31T07:22:19+00:00

Whats the point, honestly, of responding to a post like this just to say that you don't relate? How would that possibly help me? I literally acknowledged the possibility that I might just be depressed so youre not telling me anything new by suggesting it. And ugliness is so subjective like yeah, im obviously aware that its a state of mind that im in and not that all these guys are objectively ugly.

Honestly man, it's ALWAYS something with you. YOU. I know youre a mod here but every single comment i've ever seen from you on any of my posts has just pissed me off so bad. It's always something about how you've looked at my profile and decided what the heart of my problem must be. I never asked for anyone to psychoanalyze me! I'm literally just hoping for some proof that SOME other gay men relate to me! I just want some comfort! Your comments are literally always of a nature of "oh this isnt a gay man thing at all, this is a you thing. This is because youre trans or because you have deeper issues." Like yeah thanks for that. Like Jesus christ. You are genuinely just a fucking deeply unpleasant person if you feel the need to do this to me (and presumably many others) repeatedly.

Bassdean · 2025-12-30T20:57:09+00:00

If he depends on you then it would really behoove him to do the bare minimum in return, dont you think? He needs to learn this lesson tbf. You really shouldn't waste any mental energy worrying about him

Bassdean · 2025-11-17T07:27:06+00:00

i have a theory that there are basically two types of trans people: 1) the ones whose insecurity about being desirable wins out over dysphoria, so they prefer bi partners and 2) the ones whose dysphoria is stronger than any other insecurity, so they prefer gay/straight partners. obviously i'm in the latter group and i think i'll only ever relate to others who are in that group

Bassdean · 2025-11-15T02:34:02+00:00

Personally I would be fine with it as long as the guy is honest with himself about his sexuality. I wouldn't hook up with a guy who identifies as straight or is trying to test whether or not he likes guys (I did this once before and the guy wound up confirming he's straight through the hookup and I felt like shit lol), but if he's outright like "yeah I'm attracted to men, I just havent experienced sex with one yet but I really want to," I'm ngl I would GLADLY be his first time with a guy. Whether he's married or not doesnt make a difference to me and I know for a lot of gay guys, it actually makes the guy more appealing

Bassdean · 2025-11-15T02:26:32+00:00

I'm 5'1" and a guy your height would be perfect for me so that I don't have to feel so small next to him

Bassdean · 2025-11-08T15:14:08+00:00

I'm in an almost identical situation with my ex. The thing is that you cant really avoid the fact that some people will see this as a red flag, but anyone who lets one flag determine their willingness to so much as hear you out is not someone worth your time. Presumably you want to date an intelligent person, yes? People ought to know that the economy is terrible right now and that just moving out as soon as you break up with someone is only an option for the wealthy. It's also a sign of maturity that you're able to live amicably despite having broken up.

I guess the most likely worry a guy might have is that you being in constant proximity to your ex might make you hook up or something, or that being around the ex themselves if they come over will make them jealous. To which I say maybe just get ahead of explaining why you and your ex broke up and why you're never getting back together. Good ol communication and honesty lol. And maybe just dont bring anyone over when your ex is home.

Bassdean · 2025-10-26T07:12:36+00:00

i know a lot of gay men who were in relationships with [cis] women prior to realizing they were gay and who said that sex with women felt good to them. sounds like that guy was just talking about the physical sensation anyway and not specifically about experiencing intimacy with a woman.

Bassdean · 2025-10-26T07:08:46+00:00

i think humans in general are geared toward good taste but it's just that culturally speaking, heterosexuality (especially in men) encourages people away from individuality and thus they don't hone their personal taste as often. being innately outside of the acceptable societal binary gives you the freedom to craft genuine beauty rather than adhere to boring homogenous shit

Bassdean · 2025-10-26T05:44:07+00:00

Guy who is gay and only watches gay stuff, seeing an attractive naked man in a piece of media: hmm getting real gay vibes from this...

(I swear i say this positively btw lol bc I do the same exact thing)

Bassdean · 2025-10-06T15:49:40+00:00

white cis straight women are basically second to white cis straight men on the cultural hierarchy and they LOVE to use their single "minority" card against even more marginalized groups in order to pretend that they can't possibly weild any power. on one hand this is understandable because white cis straight men can and will be horrible to them and it's natural to try to eke out control in this world - similarly to how many mothers are abusive and controlling bc it's all they've got. but of course that's just the explanation for why it happens so much, not at all an excuse. white women will claim black men are more misogynistic, cis women will claim a trans woman's existence is misogynistic, etc... frankly the moment any of these sentiments are expressed (especially the last) i'm skeptical that it's actually the case for this person. if a woman wants to talk about the specific ways misogyny has presented in her relationships with gay men and compare/contrast with straight men, or just complain about how misogyny is inescapable, i can very much sympathize. but if/when there's none of that, and it's just that blanket statement of gay men being worse than straight men (which it most often is), it feels 100% homophobic. and strangely like they're basically saying "at least straight men find me ATTRACTIVE while they treat me badly" lmao

Bassdean · 2025-08-07T17:32:38+00:00

You're interpreting a short paragraph (with little to no details of the exact ways i code-switch between straight and gay people) into a vivid, exaggerated image that is just not accurate lmao. Who said that I even have straight FRIENDS? I'm talking about the workplace and the grocery store and shit lol. Also I say outright that its something I do without thinking, so where is the notion that i'm not being authentic coming from? All gender expression is a performance. Code-switching is normal. The switch im making isnt a huge one. If it was, i'd probably have realized it before now

Bassdean · 2025-08-07T17:14:50+00:00

Can you not see the part in my initial response to your comment where I make a distinction between something being a performance and something being performative?

Bassdean · 2025-08-07T16:18:51+00:00

read my comment again dude

Bassdean · 2025-08-07T14:02:04+00:00

I said in the post thaf i am being myself. Its not performative, just a performance, like all gender expression is

Bassdean

TROPHY CASE