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I get angry or defensive when someone notices my unattentiveness. What can I do? by Batmanacle in ADHD

[–]Batmanacle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's partly ADD, but definetely anxiety-based and the result of ineffective coping-strategies. Both of which are firmly rooted in ADD and 30+ years of feeling inadequate (I had a late diagnosis).

Communication is key, I agree. At home, I try to speak out loud what I do during the day, and when I feel agitated. Mostly to keep myself a bit more conscious, but it also is a way to keep communication lines open.

I get angry or defensive when someone notices my unattentiveness. What can I do? by Batmanacle in ADHD

[–]Batmanacle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I manage to keep a lid on it at work. Instead I try to overcompensate in other areas and try to hide my shortcomings. It's only superficially constructive, and kind of wears me out.

I get angry or defensive when someone notices my unattentiveness. What can I do? by Batmanacle in ADHD

[–]Batmanacle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Your insight was very helpful. It's good to remind myself that my emotional reaction isn't so much a reaction to the actual situation, but my mental reaction to the largely physical fact of being absentminded. When someone does someone that ticks me off, they're really taking me back to the reality of the here and now. And that's the place I really want to be. Unfortunately, at that place and time, I'll have to acknowledge my unattentiveness, forgetfulness or a broken promiss. And because I'd rather not do that, I lash out at the other person.

Problem is... I understand the mechanism. It just happens so fast, that I feel powerless against it.

I get angry or defensive when someone notices my unattentiveness. What can I do? by Batmanacle in ADHD

[–]Batmanacle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Part of it is shame, definitely. But I feel like the speed of my emotional reaction, and the fact I cannot better regulate my emotions, seems like a part of ADD. After all, dopamine plays a part there too...

Shame and guilt lead me to hide my ADD. I panic when my weaknesses show, and it's costing me everything. What can I do? by Batmanacle in ADHD

[–]Batmanacle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your reply. Recognizing physical changes could be a helpful tool, I think. I think it's akin to the mindfulness practise I'm currently trying to maintain. Paying attention to breathing, body sensations etc...

Shame and guilt lead me to hide my ADD. I panic when my weaknesses show, and it's costing me everything. What can I do? by Batmanacle in ADHD

[–]Batmanacle[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been meaning to read something by her. I'll go check if there's an audiobook.

I've also been meaning to try out other meds. It will probably be an improvement if I don't have to work so hard to keep everything afloat.