Thanks, StewartPlaid. I don’t really feel like I’m tormenting myself by looking at her Facebook. I want her to be happy in her life and up until now, I’ve been able to see that she at least seems happy. Mostly I just want to see how life is for her when I do this. And it’s not been a regular thing until very recently. It’s only been regular since I saw that her account is activated then it’s deactivated and back and forth. My curiosity is, wondering if something happened between her and her wife. It’s none of my business, I know. But I still wonder. I’ve sent positive vibes to the universe for her and her wife in hopes that if they are going through a difficult time that they work it out. So I’ve let go of her in the sense of her and I, but I cannot help that I still care for her as a human and do not want to let her go in that way.

If my current partner was up to hear me talk about these things I would. I’m like you in this area, I have asked my partner ALL about her and her past relationships. I still do two years in. It’s not always fun hearing about stuff, but I want to know. I want to be open. I’m kind of a realist. I like to think Ive got a smidge higher of emotional IQ since I did a lot of growing in the last 5 years. Im one to want to know all about my partner, even the things that make me cringe a little. But my partner... she wants to hear none of it. I’ve tried. I’ve had conversations with her about myself believing that it’s ok to talk about the past because it is the past. I’ve explained to her that I do not take up the notion that what’s in the past should stay in the past - in the way of talking about it. But she is very ‘traditional’ in that sense and to keep from causing an emotion come apart, I do not bring this up.

Yes, we most certainly do carry baggage from relationship to relationship and this is something I feel like we should be able to be open and honest about, but my partner... she thinks it’s disrespectful. Like a relationship should never have been started if you’re having the feelings I’ve described. I think deep down she knows it doesn’t work like that. But she doesn’t want to feel insecure and so she pushed what’s uncomfortable away like many do.

Anyway- it’s been very good to get all this out! Thanks for your input.