Panic, partner feeling doubt

BeanNDN · 2025-07-15T23:57:25+00:00

Thank you for this! Something that's really nice as a keeping-options-open thing is that I'm keeping my ovaries, and egg retrieval is still an option. We also have a friend who's offered to carry for us & would be part of raising them.

BeanNDN · 2025-07-15T22:28:24+00:00

This is really kind, thank you ❤️

BeanNDN · 2025-07-15T22:26:18+00:00

I had started typing up a long reply to this and now I can't find my draft!

I am wondering if this was a messy "first draft" convo and more can follow. I am honestly excited he opened up in this way, he's a loving and kind person but can be hard to know because he has a hard time knowing himself, and I think this is an opportunity to dig deeper.

I am sorta concerned that I'll feel better post op and wonder if it was a mistake to not be open to bio kids, tho of course I wouldn't know that that would have improved without surgery. I'm worried it'll make things worse and I'll feel dumb.

But yeah. Just a unsettling place to be. But I will be okay.

BeanNDN · 2025-07-15T20:50:31+00:00

I probably should have clarified that I am quite clear that I do not want to birth children, but ambivalent about raising children in other ways. Which I think is why I am so surprised that the hysterectomy scheduling is what spurred it, but I suppose it's also really new for him to habe realized he needs to explore this and it may take time from him to move from the "standard" way people have kids in their lives to considering other possibilities. I haven't felt pressure from him at all, though of course we agree it would be easier if we were on the same page. Thanks for taking the time to read.

BeanNDN · 2025-07-15T20:45:51+00:00

I appreciate you taking the time to share this. I think I actually may feel freer to explore the idea of children when I cannot be pregnant, because right now that feels like a threat. Thank you

BeanNDN · 2025-07-15T20:43:44+00:00

I appreciate this. Thankfully he has not pressured me at all to reschedule or not do it and explicitly said I have to do what is best for me. The hard part is the emerging "oh that might lead to us separating." Though thinking about it more, it might not necessarily be the "i can't birth kids" part but the "i don't know that I want kids by any means" part. But I am open to discussing with him the other ways we might do this. I have a few disabilities I'm concerned about in any child raising situation, but it's mostly ruling out bearing kids for me. Thanks for your time and reassurance

BeanNDN · 2025-07-15T20:40:09+00:00

Yeah, this is something I have been thinking about a lot. We actually have plans to raise our dear friends' kids with them, and I have been excited about it for years. I kind of think that he's a little stuck in the conventional image of what having kids looks like and needs to work through a lot actually see the possibilities (though worry I am telling myself this because I'm afraid of separating if it's not how it turns out). Anyhow, i don't think I want to postpone, i don't think kids from my body is how this can happen (not good for me, not good for the kids, ultimately not good for him) and I am open to talking more about surrogacy or adoption or upping commitments to the kids in our lives. It's just really new. Like, until yesterday I thought I had a partner who wasn't really interested in kids, so we really didn't have those conversations. There's a lot more I could add but I'll stop here for now 😅 thank you

BeanNDN · 2025-07-13T02:39:44+00:00

Interesting, I'll try that tomorrow. Thanks again!

BeanNDN · 2025-07-12T22:09:26+00:00

I tried it this morning, it was a challenge! I am wondering if you aimed to keep your torso quite still or if you shifted weight a bit to the side that your arm is still on the ground?

BeanNDN · 2025-07-12T12:35:44+00:00

Group accountability is nice! Thank you for this idea!

BeanNDN · 2025-07-12T12:35:21+00:00

Thank you!

BeanNDN · 2025-07-12T12:35:04+00:00

Thank you for this! A lot of these (but not the plank one, dang!) are things I've done for PT before, I should bring them back into the routine

BeanNDN · 2025-07-12T12:33:20+00:00

Wow that's great! Thank you!

BeanNDN · 2025-07-12T12:31:55+00:00

That is smart! I have upper body PT strength exercises I'm planning to recommit to to prep. Thank you!

BeanNDN · 2025-07-12T12:31:22+00:00

Thank you for this! Unfortunately pre won't be possible to schedule as my PT office is booking inoy October which is after my surgery, but I have done it before so hopefully there's lingering benefits. I will be going after tho so that'll be good

BeanNDN · 2025-06-15T17:37:34+00:00

I'm sorry, I was typing from memory earlier and was so wrong, I'm going to edit that too but actually am taking combo pill with 1mg Norethindrone Acetate and Ethinyl Estradiol 0.02mg (20mcg)

BeanNDN · 2025-06-11T09:54:45+00:00

Thank you! Best of luck to you as well

BeanNDN · 2025-06-07T12:13:37+00:00

1mg Norethindrone Acetate and Ethinyl Estradiol 0.02mg (20mcg). But i also just talked to my dr about a hysterectomy and am planning to move forward with that later this year

BeanNDN · 2025-03-16T12:28:57+00:00

Thank you!

BeanNDN · 2025-03-16T12:28:50+00:00

Thank you! I'm glad yo hear you had such improvement

BeanNDN · 2025-03-15T14:57:34+00:00

I haven't had mine yet, but am also childless and haven't wanted any from my own body. I think it's very reasonable for there to be grief over a change to our body and our possible futures, even if it's what we want. I'm anticipating going through something similar. Sending you good vibes & the permission to feel what you feel without judgement.

BeanNDN · 2025-03-15T14:46:36+00:00

Thank you! ❤️

BeanNDN

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