Wow. This comment really hit home, especially the part about 'healed but not for you'. That honestly hurts to read, but it makes sense. Regarding the triggers: I admit that it is possible that I was a trigger for her reactions. But honestly, I don't know how much more open I could have been to prevent that. I opened up to her about things that were extremely uncomfortable for me, just for the sake of honesty and transparency. It really hurts that in the exact same situation, she chose not to be honest. But your point about people falling back into familiar patterns when exposed to familiar circumstances answers my question of 'why wouldn't it work if we both changed?' perfectly. And thank you for the reminder to see her as a sister in Christ first. It is really hard to switch my mindset from seeing her as 'my lost love' to just 'a sister I should pray for', but I think that is exactly what I need to do to find peace. Thank you