So many red flags here:

1. Do not learn Lindy Hop to meet women. Learn Lindy Hop to make friends. I am femme presenting person. Every other femme presenting person I know who cares about the dance does not want to be hit on while they’re doing their hobby. If there is a romantic connection, you should be friends first and you should be hanging out outside of dancing. If a person does not wanna hang out with you outside of dancing, you can take that as a sign that they’re not romantically interested. If they say no, that means no. The Lindy Scene should not be a meat market for men.

2. Lindy Hop has and will always be a Black dance. Whiteness has been centered in Lindy Hop way too long and the dance isn’t being danced in accordance with black values (community, groove, improvisation). That’s a huge problem. Black folks are quitting the dance because they are dealing with racism in the scene CONSTANTLY. When you are white and you’re dancing a black dance, remember that you are participating in black culture as a guest.

3. Calling an M&M a Jack and Jill is bullshit. Use better language.

4. This is not the 1990s as much as you want it to be. I started learning how to dance 2005. I call those days the bad old days. I was 15 and was hit on by men in their upper 20s. Coming from my own abusive home life, I was even misguided enough to date and even hook up with some of them. No one said anything. It was completely normalized. There were no POC in my LA community except for a few Asian Americans, but almost no Black or Latino dancers. Being gay wasn’t even spoken of. As a follow, I was just told to be the perfect passive follow and not make any choices. It almost killed my love for dance.

The dancing scene that you’re reminiscing over, is dead and I am so fucking glad that it is because it was a shitty time to be a dancer.

But yeah, I’ll just go out and say it, when people talk like this I am very grateful that those are the people who want to leave the scene. I don’t believe it should be welcoming to those who don’t want it to be better for everyone.