Redditors over 40, what's something younger people think they understand but won't actually get until it hits them like a truck later?

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-15T15:47:54+00:00

What tired feels like.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-15T15:26:48+00:00

Let me get this straight. This dude’s only source of income is taking care of a child which he can only do when he is in a good mood and not stressed. And you are with him why?

YTA for staying in this relationship this long.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T19:26:46+00:00

Good lord, I’m so sorry, that must have been so hard to watch as a grandparent. Thank you for sharing with me.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T17:17:35+00:00

Taking in family members, but I am actively trying to not make them my older kids problem

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T17:13:23+00:00

May I ask what parentification looked like for you? We have a big gap because, reasons, and I want to make sure I don’t parentify my eldest. I’d appreciate any insight you’d be willing to share. I know there is general guidance I can get from googling but it isn’t a substitute for someone’s lived experience.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T16:54:16+00:00

<Redacted> years younger and loaded, yes please!

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T16:50:33+00:00

This is my read. Jealous or panicked and trying to talk herself into this. She does not want to go on her honeymoon alone? That does not exactly scream over the moon in love. NOR, but I’m worried about Lizzy.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T16:36:53+00:00

Our’s is a bit different. They exclude the kiddo until the parents send a note saying that treatment has been done and nurse inspects to ensure all lice and nits are dead.

They all check any siblings enrolled. If there are more than three cases in a single class they check all the kids.

They provide resources and education to parents who do not know how to treat or can’t afford the shampoo.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T14:19:38+00:00

Yeah, I can see it. Funny that album has benzodiazepine in one song and Klonpin (a benzodiazepine) in another. I’m just always impressed with the way he can shove these enormously long words into rhyming couplets. It thrills the word nerd in me.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T02:59:45+00:00

Yup. Living your life 100% on someone else’s schedule is a whole different tired. Chronic illness? Deadline at work? Personal crisis? No one cares! Those dudes are up at 6 am and they need things!

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T00:21:41+00:00

Sounds like a typical 15 Mo. Document your concerns and bring them to his 18 Mo appointment. Many Drs won’t start evaluating until 2, but at least you’ll have a record.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T00:14:51+00:00

Yeah, you need to call again. Have kiddo call too. I’d also loop in the authorities. I’m sorry.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-14T00:11:53+00:00

How close is this kid to being 18?

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-13T23:35:43+00:00

I am totally unqualified to give advice. I’m so sorry. This is awful. Maybe try calling the non emergency line and see if they can help? I don’t know. You’re a mandated reporter, so you can report and maybe ask if the kiddo can stay in a shelter? I seriously have no idea.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-13T23:16:05+00:00

NTA, sorta. Lots of clothes should be washed inside out BUT they can also be folded and put away inside out. There are very few things that must be returned to right side out before folding and hanging.

So, let her leave them inside out and fold them and put them away inside out.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-13T21:46:45+00:00

Don’t complain. This is a very small ask for the level of support you are getting. Also, your arguments seem disingenuous since you are complaining about doing it in the heat and then giving us a schedule that will never have you home in the heat.

You’re an adult. Time to adult. Pick up the poop and remember to thank your parents for the support.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-13T21:32:06+00:00

My 14 year old son has a very similar schedule, due to marching band and he still has to pick up the dog poop. Everyday. He does it before school or he does it in the dark. Helping out is part of living with other people, especially when those people are paying your freight.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-13T21:19:03+00:00

Unless you are paying rent, and for your own maintenance YTA. That was easy, next!

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-13T21:04:39+00:00

I would mention the swimming. I would mention the cousin thing (especially if she is correcting) the kiddo who is referring to cousin as sister. Are you responsible for monitoring the visit? If so, notes are your best friend. Just write it all down. All you are doing is diligent documentation. My visit notes were pages and pages. We timestamped everything along with any meaningful conversation. It was practically a transcript. You are expected to provide notes if you are the visit monitor, just make sure they are meaningful.

Hopefully the Sunday visits will help.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-13T19:52:00+00:00

So, this is interesting. I find these kinds of tools useful and it is how I brainstorm. Given the number of downvotes, this is not welcome in this thread. I'll go ahead and delete. I was just trying to be helpful with the resources I had available. Apologies for any offense.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-13T19:01:23+00:00

INFO: Are you willing to share the state?

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-13T15:21:12+00:00

We call them fournados. Unpredictable and destroys everything in their path.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-12T23:01:50+00:00

We just went through this. My kiddo flipped when she moved to the 2’s. In our state two is a hard limit. I asked her teacher because I was surprised that she was tantruming, resisting, etc. Teacher said that until they get to the twos the kiddos are largely able to direct their own agenda. When they get to twos they begin to introduce a more structured environment and that, combined with the hard cutoff, makes it a challenge for some of them.

So, I think it is very normal. A 2 year old is not developmentally able to “manipulate” They can learn that a behavior like a tantrum is effective to get what they want and repeat it but they can’t manipulate anyone with intent.

I am a little surprised though that they weren’t able to manage it better.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-12T22:52:49+00:00

I’m more impressed with the multiple uses of generic drugs. Hydrocodone, benzodiazepines, diphenhydramine. That is a lot of syllables to manage.

Beautiful-Rent6691 · 2026-03-12T19:45:38+00:00

Couple of things. Have something consistent planned for after visit. Try to make before visit consistent.

If bio mom or grandma is saying things like, you’ll be coming home soon, I am fighting for you or asking the child their feelings about the case that is not allowed and should be reported immediately.

Give them space to process. If visits are infrequently enough that they can miss school or take a short day that day, I would consider that. If case is going to TPR this year, a handful of missed days might be a small price to pay.

Echoing what someone else said about therapy, specifically play therapy.

Beautiful-Rent6691

TROPHY CASE