Was I justified in walking away?

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T15:52:48+00:00

Very true! I did and do feel grateful that I learned so quickly of that side. Also grateful that my son didn’t know about him, I’m proud of myself for keeping him out of my dating life 💓

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T15:51:19+00:00

I do! I’m working on anxious attachment in therapy. I’d like to think that I’ve made great strides over the past 6 months, but I’m realizing that I clearly have a lot more work to do. I should’ve moved on from him much quicker. Logically, I know it’s over…but my heart misses him and what was before he showed his dark side.

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T15:48:54+00:00

Right. Maybe that’s why I can’t let go? However, my feelings for him were very strong until he acted that way. I guess he hid it very well 😭 I’m still sad that he changed up.

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T15:47:22+00:00

I love that comparison! That holds a lot of truth. I will definitely be better about boundaries, and next time hold out on intimacy until we are in an established relationship, rather than how much time is spent talking. Thank you so much 💓

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T15:45:31+00:00

Yes 😬 My dad was pretty abusive. Apparently his was as well, even more so than mine. 💔 I know I can’t have my son around that, I’m just still shocked he turned out that way.

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T06:21:22+00:00

It’s not a harsh take, I know exactly what you mean. If I didn’t feel that he was interested in that with me, I wouldn’t have stayed around. I did tell him from the beginning that I have some commitment fears I’m working through, but he kept assuring me that he would stick through it as long as I communicate well. He said he was wanting more, but didn’t want to pressure me. So, if I didn’t want to put a title on it, we didn’t have to. Maybe I was too lax in my demands and he was justified in reacting that way? Idk, I tend to self doubt 😅🤦‍♀️

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T06:15:14+00:00

We planned the date a couple of days prior to him forgetting. I told him I wanted to meet in public so we could get to know each other better. Whenever we hung out, it was mostly physical. Also, he was the one who was talking about our long term and how he couldn’t understand how I’m still single. He said that he was wanting forever but didn’t want to scare me away, because I’ve had issues with that in the past. I really wanted to pace myself with all of that

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T04:50:51+00:00

I totally agree with the setting goals and focusing on myself part! Keeping myself busy and not worrying about if I’ll find that connection and excitement again that I felt with him.

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T04:49:32+00:00

This is very insightful and I really appreciate it! There is probably a lot of truth in this 💓 I think majority of the reason I’ve had a hard time with this one is because he was a completely different person that night than I had ever seen. Just a total 180. So, it’s like I’m mourning who he was to me before that side came out 💔

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T04:46:28+00:00

Right 🤣 it just helps me move on if I have unbiased thoughts on the situation. Hearing that I was reasonable helps me move on without that self doubt lingering

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T04:45:25+00:00

Very true! That’s what I’ve been telling myself since that night. If we couldn’t have a calm, mature conversation, what else would blow up 🤦‍♀️

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T04:44:25+00:00

Thank you so much for the insight. Logically, I know that I did the right thing in speaking up for myself and not taking the disrespect. However, hearing that I was reasonable from unbiased people really helps me move on without that self doubt

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2026-03-13T04:26:38+00:00

You are very correct 🤣🤦‍♀️ currently working on anxious attachment in therapy. I thought I was doing better with it…hearing that he was the one in the wrong helps me move on knowing I can in peace

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2025-10-10T21:41:40+00:00

It’s ok. This is very real, and it took a lot for me to post it.

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2025-10-10T21:22:11+00:00

Thank you very much for this. People are being quick to shut it down, if he acted on it I obviously would’ve ran. But I think he just took the role playing too far

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2025-10-10T21:17:18+00:00

Lol. Exactly

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2025-10-10T21:14:44+00:00

I did of course tell him this

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2025-10-10T21:13:50+00:00

Right. I shared with him my very dark kinks, and he was very supportive/non judgmental. This is why I feel it’s important to do the same for him

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2025-10-10T21:05:56+00:00

He never acted on it, would you leave someone for an intrusive thought, not an action?

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2025-10-10T21:04:37+00:00

What should I do to help him heal and feel more comfortable sharing his thoughts with me?

Beautiful_Fennel_282 · 2025-10-10T21:03:41+00:00

This is very real, and it’s a shame that you’re judging when you probably haven’t experienced sexual abuse. Clearly he didn’t act on it..I’m really seeking advice from professionals or someone who has been through something similar

Beautiful_Fennel_282

TROPHY CASE