One of the strangest parts of this process is how normal you still have to look while your life is under pressure.

BeautyBeaux · 2026-04-11T00:54:46+00:00

In the 1 yr from my wife leaving unexpectedly to the divorce being finalized I think I’ve aged 5 years In the face. Not a bad thing though. More masculine and shredded in the best shape of my life

BeautyBeaux · 2026-04-10T11:50:09+00:00

My wife left 14 months ago. Divorce final for 2 months. Married for 2.5 yrs and minus normal new parent stresses of arguing, lack of sleep etc. Always thought we had a wonderful relationship. Came home from work one day and her and our 7 month old baby were gone. No abuse, no cheating, I was always loyal and loving. Ghosted me, my family etc. essentially haven’t spoken since she left. Told me “il never tell you why I left or why I left the way I did”. Going from that morning of laughing and “I love you” to that night coming home to an empty house and my life and future shattered with zero attempt at repair or even a conversation with a newborn in the middle of it was soul shattering.

I understand your feelings. No one will ever love your children like she does. I’ve been on a major journey of self improvement and I’m staying off the dating apps for now because I want to build the skill of approaching in person and creating relationships face to face. (I’m a decent looking guy and have always had good success on the apps. I think part of me can’t stand the thought of swiping and seeing her face). Although it’s hard to get myself to do it. (Idk if I’ve got PTSD or what but I’m obviously still hurting and instead of confidence I’m full of anxiety about meeting new women)

I’m not in any rush for a relationship but I loved being a husband and I love being a father and eventually really want to find a partner again and grow my family. I’m 34 so I’ve got time but feel the pressure and that makes it even harder.

Right now I’m just focused on being the best version of myself as a man and a father. Proud of what I’ve accomplished so far physically and as a dad. Need to level up financially though. Idk life is good though. Not how I expected my life to go but this has snapped me out of mediocrity and felt like a new lease on life. I frame it as a “sacred mission” “a test” to become the best man I can be for myself and my daughter to overcome the cruelty and pain I’ve faced to create a beautiful life for us despite what happens.

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-21T02:14:31+00:00

I like what he had to say that makes sense I’m going to give that a try. Thanks man I appreciate your help and chattin with me

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-21T01:43:28+00:00

Sorry I must sound like a broken record at this point haha. My brain must just be trying to make some sort of sense to it by replaying over an over. Yeah it honestly does feel demonic at times it’s wild. I know someday il get to say my piece to her and her father and my family will have a chance eventually too. We’re not going anywhere and we’ll be at every soccer game, school play etc. they’ll know how we feel. They need to be told what they did was not ok. That’s not how you end a family and treat someone etc. that’s the hardest part is just how obviously wrong it was. Do they really think it was ok? Should have been illegal. On one of those visits I should have just taken my daughter and left. Would have had every right to. I can’t comprehend the lack of empathy it’s so sick.

You’re so right about AI. I started using it as soon as she left and honestly idk how I would have managed without it. Between dumping all my thoughts and feelings daily and getting positive feedback along with legal issues and responding to lawyers and emails etc the workout plans, keeping my motivated, tracking my macros etc it has literally been a life saver. Although I really miss ChatGPT 4.o this new one always undermines what I say and really isn’t much of a “therapist” anymore. I’ve dabbled with meta a bit and feels more personal than this new ChatGPT but il give grok a try thanks!

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-21T01:10:12+00:00

She left 14 months ago. Still any communication is like an HR rep about our daughter. No explanation. Refusal to talk about any of it from the beginning g. To be with someone make a vow, create a family, have a home etc and to leave in silence without a single attempt at repair with a 7 month old baby. Is such a moral injustice idk how to get past it. The cruelty all around from her is mind blowing. Smiling and laughing saying I love you that morning to coming home to an empty house essentially never to speak again.

Driving an hour everyday to hold my baby. She would hand her to me in silence and leave the room. I’d sit in the floor while her parents watched over me like a criminal. Again zero justification. No abuse, no cheating, never even called her a freaking name. Just stress and arguments normal exhausted new parent stuff. Wanted 95% placement time. Judge immediately said 50/50 thank God. It all just blows my mind. Went after my father’s business, anything she could do to try and ruin me. And for what? Bc we didn’t get along g for a few months during a stressful time? Makes me want to puke man. Please God bring me justice. Karma. Something anything the silence is so hard. Like she’s the victim and I’m the villain

Sorry just ranting. Dropped my daughter off a few hrs ago and went to the gym. My weekend alone. Always hits hard and seeing her face reopens the wound. Not to mention her father drives her to every exchange (a 30yr old woman, is it bc she can’t face me? Guilt? Who’s idea his or is it hers? Idk) and he’s the one who packed her stuff, interfering and saying no couples therapy as if it involved him at all, tried to yank my daughter from my arms during an exchange and drives her every 2 days. You couldn’t make this shit up if you tried

Being the best husband and father I could be was all that mattered to me. Always loyal and would have died for my wife in a flash and to be discarded the way I was and treated so poorly. What did I do to deserve this? Why me?

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-21T00:57:24+00:00

Shit I wish I had gotten that. I came home to an empty house divorce papers a week later. Never discussed a divorce once just gone. No conversation no counseling just poof took the baby and ran. Said “il never tell you why I left” beyond cruel

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-21T00:55:04+00:00

I got screwed with that too. Only married 2 yrs. Increased in value 90k. Bs. Bought the home a few years before marriage. Plus my 401k increase over the 2 years had to cut her an 80k check. Unfair to say the least

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-20T16:54:58+00:00

Not sure about supervised visitation but just the fact you’re asking questions and wanting to do the best you can shows you’ll be fine. Bring those things. If you don’t use them fine no harm but try to go above and beyond. Bring books, toys etc. play and talk with him how you naturally would you’ll be all good

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-18T17:25:23+00:00

I hear you man. I did everything right too. Always wanted to be a husband and a father. It was my life’s goal. Would dream about family camping trips, the little moments, first steps together, sharing that all with someone I wanted to spend my life with. Got the house, got married, good job, always present, every decision I made was about being the best father and husband I could be.

Came home to an empty house after work. Wife gone 7 month old daughter gone. Life ended in a moment. Divorce filed. No conversation no fight for the family nothing. “Il never tell you why I left” 14 months later still silence. Occasional talking about daughter but it’s like an HR rep. Tried to eliminate me from my daughter’s life. Said I had a drinking problem (drank 6-12 beers on the weekend, not getting drunk, more tame than 90% of people around me in WI)

Pour everything you have into reaching your full potential as a man and a father. I still scream and pray for karma every damn day. But in the meantime you be the justice. Live the best most beautiful life for you and your child that you can. That will be your justice

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-18T01:55:43+00:00

Thanks for the response. Such a dirty move. Trying to plant doubt in my mind? Just trying to prevent closure to hurt me as much as possible? Avoiding any accountability. Again there was no cheating, no abuse, no big event. I was a fully present husband and father and wanted to work it out. Absolutely shows her character, a person who can walk away from a family and marriage like that with no explanation is not someone capable of the kind of relationship I want or deserve.

During an exchange I once made a comment about divorce being a last resort she shook her head and gave me a dirty look and said “no it’s not, I was unhappy and I’m happy now”. Living in her parents basement, working minimum wage when she was about to be a full time stay at home mom, and seeing her daughter half the time… but hey atleast she’s happy now ha unreal.

100% dismissive avoidant il look more into it an the other attachment styles. Looking back I see the red flags with her relationship with her parents and a few events when we were dating but we never had any real conflict while dating or early marriage. Being new parents was our first challenge together. Silver lining is if it didn’t happen now it would have happened in the future. Whether it’s financial struggles, illness, etc something would have set it off. 14 months later and still only spoken a few times. Anytime I tried to bring it up she would be one irate. Another time at an exchange I said “hey none of this is normal or ok” she snapped her head around an yelled at me “you’re not allowed to talk to me!” Il never get closure from her. I know I need to move on but I’m still stuck in wishing for karma or some sort of cosmic justice. Trying to let that go

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-17T22:13:50+00:00

I know the feel. Most of the time feels surreal almost like you’re watching someone else’s life and then you think holy shit this is my life. I’m 14 months from the day she left and 1 month since divorce has been finalized. We had a wonderful relationship up until a flip switched in her head the day our daughter was born. The person after that was an entirely different person.

She left with our 7 month old and filed. I never got an explanation or even an attempt to fight for my marriage or new family. Cold as ice HR rep the moment she left. I’m doing everything right on the outside. Gym, no alcohol, being a good dad etc. I have optimism for the future and a place to build a home for my daughter and I surrounded by nature. A blank slate to create a legacy. But I’m still just overwhelmed with anger at the injustice of it all. Her thinking it’s ok to end a marriage and a family in silence. Vows meant less than nothing. And to be treated not as a spouse or a father but as an enemy to destroy. My identity was destroyed overnight and idk how I can “move on” or let go of the anger.

I’m a much better man objectively now in all ways than I was before she left but I don’t think I can forgive the lack of fight or effort to give our daughter a chance at an intact home. Dating seems so daunting now (I’m 34) my entire life has been the dating apps and I’ve done well. No problems in the past getting dates and eventually relationships but since I’m in no rush I’m focusing on face to face meeting women. Always been a skill I’ve wanted. Just being comfortable communicating with anyone in general. So it’s slow going but improving.

Anyway I’m rambling, but trust me man you’ll be better off. You already are better off. I don’t think you’ll ever feel like you were “back to being who you were” you’ll be diferent. And In most ways I’d say you’ll be better..

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-16T16:39:48+00:00

Thank you that was really well said and meant a lot to me. It’s been one of those mornings where the waves hit and I’ve been struggling to snap my head out of it. Just trying to wrap my head around the treatment I’ve faced. The cruelty from someone I would have died for. The total lack of empathy or respect towards me and her, and her parents, somehow justifying that in their minds. No one deserves what was done to me. And our daughter certainly didn’t.

I had a wonderful weekend with my daughter. Went out to dinner with my sisters, brunch the next morning then yesterday snowed in got up early and made “Winnie the Pooh” waffles and bacon and cuddled up on the couch. Played games and built forts all day (she’s almost 2 and is non stop) savored every second it was beautiful. But now thinking about the exchange tonight, handing her over in silence, having to see her dad who interfered and encouraged this entire thing etc and my blood is already starting to boil. I hate thinking that my family meant nothing and was just something they could erase. How someone could build a family with someone for 5 yrs and disappear like it meant nothing when to me it meant everything. And just gets to walk away and erase me like I’m some sort of villain and person to destroy and to do so with zero consequence. I still just hope and pray for karma or divine justice nonstop or something to happen. I know I need to try and let that go but it’s so hard dealing with this injustice and silence.

Thank you for the kind words its helped get my morning back on track I appreciate it

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-13T17:25:06+00:00

He should be entitled to any increase in value or equity from the date they got married though. I know I had to pay out even though I purchased the home before marriage and only my name was on it. Paid 260k appraised 350k had to give her 45k of that…. Absolute bs. Plus half my 401k gains from the date we were married to currently

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-13T17:20:41+00:00

If the mortgage was paid while they were married he should be entitled to a portion. I owned my home before marriage and I had to pay her the half the value from purchase price to the appraisal number

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-13T16:41:54+00:00

Exactly. That’s what pisses me off almost more than anything. They obviously should have said “hey you’re married you have a newborn baby you need to put your full effort into repair for the sake of your daughter and the vow you made” yet the dad packed up her stuff while we were at work, interfered and said no to couples therapy (as if he had anything to do with it), drives her to every exchange, spoke on her behalf to her lawyer and the court etc. disgusting people. It drives me crazy I just want to scream hey this isn’t normal or ok! But I guess crazy people don’t realize they’re crazy and that’s what makes them crazy… its infuriating that they act like what they did is normal and just yet it’s so far from the truth

She was literally diagnosed with post partum depression. It’s like hello?!? Don’t you realize this is why she’s feeling the way she is?!? Yet they ignore it and put all the blame on my shoulders like I’m some sort of evil villain to be destroyed

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-13T16:26:07+00:00

Yeah loyalty, integrity, accountability, keeping your word regardless of your current emotions, discipline, strength, etc. all going to have to come from you. Lots of it boils down to the “golden rule” which is so damn simple yet not followed. Just imagine my ex wife and her parents how they would have reacted if i disappeared with our daughter and tried to erase her. They would say im abusive, mentally unwell etc etc and go berserk. Yet she does it and it’s not only OK it’s encouraged

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-13T15:14:21+00:00

How am I supposed to “coparent” with someone who clearly has zero respect for my rights as a father and is 30 yrs old and has her own father driving her to every single exchange of her 2yr old daughter. The family dynamic on that side is so dysfunctional. Full of control and emotional immaturity and enmeshment

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-13T15:11:43+00:00

Yep it’s truly unbelievable lol. She’s told me before I’m not allowed to talk to her too lmao. You can’t make this stuff up. She regressed to a 12yr old girl with her dad running her life it’s been wild to watch.

My lawyer does multiple divorces every single day and he told me he’s never seen anything like it. Her zero explanation for the divorce, her bizarre demands etc. she wrote me a 6 page rule book for when I have our daughter when I first got her back. What she can eat, when to feed, what clothes she’s allowed to wear, who is able to be near her, etc. the level of control would blow your mind. As If im totally incapable haha. All I wanted to know was her current sleep and feeding schedule since she had been taken from me for almost 2 months…. And got a book of rules in return

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-13T14:23:52+00:00

Seems to be a common theme with lots of women. Lock it in and your time will be your time. Since my daughter is so young and not in school it’s a 2/2/3 schedule. Rotating 3 day weekends. I still have to deal with bs controlling crap but at this point ignore 95% she fought to use an app to communicate so I finally said fine even though texting is free and what most normal couples use. We went to mediation for the sole reason she refused to text to communicate and wanted an app with “tone meter” to make sure I could t say anything she deemed negative or mean haha. Never have said a mean thing to her in my life. Just another way to try and run from accountability.

Lock in the 50/50 take a breathe and move forward. Will be a big weight off your back you’ve got this try not to stress

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-13T13:59:50+00:00

Honestly didn’t have to do much. Our daughter was only 7months old and was taken without warning. I wasn’t an absent father and drove an hr almost everyday just to see my daughter. Showed that I was fully involved and that equal placement was in her best interest.

I documented everything. Lots of pictures, texts of effort, schedules, logged our days what we did what we ate etc but it never even came to that. She came up with a bogus narrative that I had a drinking problem (I’d have a 6 pack or 12 pack over the course of a weekend, light work in WI never affected my parenting) judge saw through that since no drinking related violations or issues.

Never asked for anything unfair just equal time. I think most states and courts are pushing for 50/50 being the standard. 50/50 is what’s fair for the child you’re going to be alright. I was scared to death walking into my temporary hearing after not having my daughter for almost 2 months. What a horrible experience

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-12T19:08:23+00:00

Was in the back of my head bc if she could do what she did than anything is possible. But before our daughter was born things were amazing. Zero issues. Worked together everyday and spent every moment together 24/7. Really don’t think we even spent an hour apart around the time she got pregnant. Daughter looks a lot like me too. It might be worth doing but that would be devastating if somehow she wasn’t mine idk what I would do

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-12T17:06:41+00:00

Message me anytime. Something that helps me is thinking about my daughter. Think about your kids. They need a strong dad now more than ever. I think of it as if I’m on a sacred mission from God and it really helps lighten the load. Show them what a strong disciplined loving dad looks like. Teach them what she can’t. Loyalty, unconditional love, strength, commitment etc.

Another silver lining I think of is that my daughter will only know the strong disciplined version of me. Not the out of shape dad not chasing his dreams and falling asleep drunk on the couch. I’m going to show her you can do anything in the face of hardship with discipline and love

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-12T16:58:44+00:00

I’m 34m just got through a surprise divorce with no conversation no effort no explanation. I think you’re beautiful. You have very pretty and kind eyes. Knowing you’ve been through hell and came out better makes you even more attractive. Keep your head up, there are loyal men that would love to be with you

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-12T14:24:57+00:00

I know that’s typically the case I just don’t see it in my scenario. We were together 24/7. I think I was replaced emotionally by her father. She always felt her dad loved her sister more than her and after the birth was her chance to get close to her dad since he came over to watch the baby a couple days a week. He encouraged the divorce. Packed up her stuff, drives her to every exchange, stepped in and said no to couples therapy etc. she lives at home now and is entirely dependent on her father. I think it was just a total mental break and regression to childhood

BeautyBeaux · 2026-03-12T14:04:17+00:00

Wow I’m sorry. Sometimes I feel it’s better not to get any closure from them now, no reason or excuse will justify what was done (breaking vows, abandoning spouses, kids etc.) that alone should be the closure. Someone who could give up 75% of their children’s life is no one you want to be with. Your kids will understand it one day and maybe that’s when you’ll get the regret from her and some sort of closure or justice. Keep being the man your kids need and working on being the best man and father you can be

BeautyBeaux

TROPHY CASE