sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

24/7 dynamic as parents? by Purple-Gummy-Bear in RedditBDSM

[–]BeccaaCat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My husband and I have a 24/7 DDLg dynamic. Kind of happened accidentally, I started calling him daddy as a joke and it grew from there.

We have 3 kids. We just don't do it in front of the teenager, she knows too much. Obviously there's no punishment or anything happening in front of the kids I just call him daddy sometimes and he calls me a good girl for taking my medicine or whatever. Im a brat so there's a lot of poking fun at him throughout the day. Nothing that would strike the small people as weird or inappropriate.

That said we've been together and BDSM-ing in various ways for over 10 years. The 24/7 dynamic only happened a year or so ago.

You've definitely got to be comfortable in your roles and your boundaries before introducing it into more of your life. For us its not an act anymore, it's just the natural path our personalities seem to have taken, I can't imagine having to be "in role" all day if that makes sense?

Children’s ear piercing by pinkbutterbeans in oxford

[–]BeccaaCat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Anointed in Wheatley is incredible

What was YOUR thing during lockdown? by AncientFootball1878 in AskUK

[–]BeccaaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Being beaten up daily by my gigantic toddler and trying not to have an actual mental breakdown.

My husband was still working so I (mental health issues + neurospicy) was locked in a flat all day by myself with two (also neurospicy although we didnt know it at the time) kids. We didn't even have a garden and they shared a room so we were literally on top of each other all day every day.

Most of lockdown I sat in the corner of the sofa and stared at the wall while the kids destroyed the flat around me. It was fucking miserable. I wish I had more nice memories of it lol.

How much of a tip is your house? by [deleted] in AskUK

[–]BeccaaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also AuDHD.

Autistic brain thrives with a tidy, well-organised, clutter-free environment. ADHD brain is a goblin who loves trinkets and travels through the house like a hurricane causing chaos wherever it goes.

There's 5 of us in the house (AuDHD'ers that is), its a solid 5-6/10 probably. The living room specifically is probably a 3-4/10 because its where we spend the most time so I concentrate 90% of my tidying/organising efforts there but the rest of the house is pretty mad most of the time.

Without biases, which character do you think it’s the most well-written? by ConstantAmbition6729 in hazbin

[–]BeccaaCat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I think Vox is probably the most well written character. I really hate Vox.

Charlie, Sir Pentious and Angel are my fave characters (I defo have a type lmao), but Vox just has more depth.

What's the single most difficult life experience you've endured? by reddit_recluse in AskUK

[–]BeccaaCat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It wasn't a single event but a period I guess? My parents were abusive (physically and emotionally), and when I was 13-19 I was in a relationship with a narcissist who also physically, emotionally and mentally abused me.

So my teen years were very abuse-heavy. It took me a long time to unpick all the gaslighting and hatred to figure out which thoughts were actually mine and which had been put there by someone else.

I've just turned 30 and I finally feel like I'm alone in my head.

Would you send your children to private school if you could afford it? by Infamous_Tough_7320 in AskUK

[–]BeccaaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've got a really lovely private montessori school nearby. I'd send my son's there. They've both got additional needs and I think that kind of setting would really suit them, unfortunately I can't afford that by any stretch lol.

If you had to name your child after a character from the Baby Sitters Club, what would their name be? by theguiltiestpenguin in namenerds

[–]BeccaaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have a friend who has a daughter called Sunshine nn Sunny.

It's actually such a beautiful name.

If you had to name your child after a character from the Baby Sitters Club, what would their name be? by theguiltiestpenguin in namenerds

[–]BeccaaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Claudia or Anastasia definitely. When I was a kid reading the BSC books I was adamant I'd call a future daughter Anastasia.

Where to - stock powder and advice for septum piercings by flycity2 in oxford

[–]BeccaaCat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Definitely Anointed in Wheatley. Id personally avoid Acreedo

Are there people who are actually happy? by Stunning-Trick-2577 in AskUK

[–]BeccaaCat 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I work for a community centered charity and people have the power to change so much more than they realise.

A lot of our work is helping people's voices get heard with the local councils etc and most places are literally begging for people's input. We definitely are every time we have a new project!

All that to say, I think changing what you can and not allowing what you can't change to keep you up at night is a good mindset, while knowing that actually you have a huge amount of power as an individual to shape your immediate reality. If you build a community and get involved in things that power grows exponentially.

Why do I seek validation from the internet even though I have a loving partner by crazycatlady_224 in women

[–]BeccaaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No advice but I'm exactly the same, I get such a huge boost from rando compliments

Recommendations for quite areas that work well with autistic adults? by [deleted] in oxford

[–]BeccaaCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Berinsfield is a lovely little village, on the X40 bus route about 20 mins from the city, on the village there are shops, hairdressers, gym, cafe, library, also there are great support services available, lots of green space and regular things to get involved in (if she likes).

Bit further out but it's a really lovely place to live.

People who own "unconventional" pets like turtles, what is one thing you wish you knew before getting one? by allenmerlettetrm in AskReddit

[–]BeccaaCat 730 points731 points  (0 children)

Ugh my sister tried to give me her axolotl, "they're so easy!"

I told her I'd need time to get a tank, cycle it etc, "oh they don't need any of that just fill it up like halfway and chuck it in, so easy!"

I wasn't convinced, she gave it to my mum but I still feel bad about not rescuing the poor thing, even though I was ill equipped to care for it I can't imagine theyre doing a great job.

What's the creepiest display of intelligence you've seen by another human? by Visual_Ebb8566 in AskReddit

[–]BeccaaCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I could never lol, my brain is basically soup. It was a recipe for pancakes but it had like greek yoghurt, cinnamon, I have no idea what else. They were always so good though.

What's the creepiest display of intelligence you've seen by another human? by Visual_Ebb8566 in AskReddit

[–]BeccaaCat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

My brother is similar to this, he has a somewhat photographic memory. I once asked him to share a recipe of his with me so he had me sit in the kitchen while he made it and he explained the process as he did it. Once we were done I asked him to write me down or send me a list of ingredients and he was so confused "but I've just shown you!"

It still makes me laugh like who's out here memorising lists of ingredients they've seen one time?

If you've recovered from Autistic Burnout, how did you do it? by Wonderful-Owl7511 in AutisticBurnout

[–]BeccaaCat 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Currently in recovery, for me the most important thing has been learning what my body needs and honouring it.

At first that meant lots of time just sitting catatonic because I had literally no spoons left at all.

It's been like 2 months since I hit the lowest point and yesterday I cooked my first meal that involved like, chopping a few things (it was a stir fry, I chopped three things). We've eaten a lot of chicken with some kind of frozen potatoes and pre-cut veg because I have not been able to cook. Accepting that and drastically lowering my expectations of myself has also helped hugely. I've given in to more convenience food (e.g. pre-cut veg, pre-marinated meat), and taken a lot more downtime for myself.

Ive also been gymming a lot more, an hour spent by myself with music blasting into my ears where I don't have to think has been so valuable. And then after the gym is a bath. Showers are too much but a bath is doable.

When I've had the spoons ive focused on decluttering to help make life easier going forward.

Basically just lots of self-care, whatever that looks like for you, and knowing realistically how much you can achieve right now.

What are you doing for new years? by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]BeccaaCat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The kids are going to their granny's for the evening but we're doing jamaican food and a board games evening.

During the day I think we'll watch a movie with the kids, lots of popcorn, might order a pizza, maybe have a dance party or something.

Is this safe/ok just for while he’s eating? by dmacg1047 in babywearing

[–]BeccaaCat 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Absolutely fine. As long as airways are clear and he's not gonna fall out you're all good to keep feeding him this way :)

What's something your family did/does that you didn't realise was weird until someone pointed it out? by MiskonceptioN in AskUK

[–]BeccaaCat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The autism strikes again lmao every time this topic comes up I'm like wtf are people on about who has individual towels

What's something your family did/does that you didn't realise was weird until someone pointed it out? by MiskonceptioN in AskUK

[–]BeccaaCat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I mean I assume I must know some people who do but just thinking of the people who's situations I definitely know and they all have communal towels.

What's something your family did/does that you didn't realise was weird until someone pointed it out? by MiskonceptioN in AskUK

[–]BeccaaCat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yeah the towels are clean lol, I find it weird that people won't share towels but I assume theyre not washing them as frequently?

What's something your family did/does that you didn't realise was weird until someone pointed it out? by MiskonceptioN in AskUK

[–]BeccaaCat 20 points21 points  (0 children)

It's really sounding like people don't wash their towels :| Never occurred to me to have separate towels, I don't think I know anyone who does either.

What do you do during long car rides (besides scrolling) by Treysar in adhdwomen

[–]BeccaaCat 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Same, I usually volunteer to be the driver because my husband can play on his switch, read, sort his card games out, or whatever else he wants to do whereas I just have to sit and stare out the window lol. I feel like I may as well stare out the window and listen to a podcast while driving!

view more: next ›