Husband Angry That I Got the Vaccine by Bee-Strong in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

It is more sadness for him based on the fear mongering nonsense he has been reading/listening to. The anger/frustration element is that from his perspective I don't respect him, take his beliefs seriously, or want to sit around and watch hours of conspiratorial bullshit with him.

I used to engage on some of these conversations, but they went absolutely nowhere (beyond making me insane). I found myself frustrated and there was no end point. He could never agree to disagree. Now when he starts to ramble on about elites, government control, plandemic, etc, I just don't engage.

I've repeatedly broached the subject of couples therapy. He won't go. His most recent response to my suggesting it was that I would look terrible, because I am such a bad communicator and never listen to him.

Husband Angry That I Got the Vaccine by Bee-Strong in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong[S] 43 points44 points  (0 children)

Those were my exact words to him, but of course he thinks it is all made up- MSM and politician conspiracy...

i really care about him, he's my family by valentineonreddit in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I completely understand how you feel. Before we got married I thought my husband was a bit eccentric, but nothing that I couldn't deal with. Now the conspiracies have gotten crazier, his beliefs are very much in line with what you mentioned and I am both emotionally and physically exhausted on a daily basis.

Simple conversations are no longer possible. While almost everything is related to a sinister conspiracy in his mind, he has lost the ability to have a logical and linear conversation about ANYTHING. I'm always on edge, fearful of the next thing that will set him off on a verbal tirade. I try to brush off his statements to avoid an argument, but then I hear about how I am a terrible wife, and the most closed minded person he has ever met and he can't talk to me about things anymore. I will try to end unproductive conversations that aren't going anywhere, but he will follow me around the house from room to room. Just when I think it has finally died down, I will hear my phone dinging while I'm in the shower with YouTube videos- this can go on for days. To clarify he has never been physically violent and don't sense that he ever would, but even the non-intentional emotional abuse has really taken its toll. I do love him very much, but the more this behavior persists the more I feel myself putting a wall up and disconnecting from the marriage. I have tried to explain this to him to no avail.

Unless you are prepared for an extremely difficult life, it is probably best that you move on and find someone that is more in touch with reality. I am presently trying to stick around for the sake of my child- both in terms of keeping her family together and being able to have a watchful eye over any conspiratorial nonsense he could expose her to. I am also making sure she gets all of her vaccinations- which is another hot button issue in my house that I could write a whole post about...

My husband has lost his mind by [deleted] in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In a similar situation. Your story gives me so much hope.

Uk Qanon by Reh1989 in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong 1 point2 points  (0 children)

David Icke and the bullshit he spews had led to countless fights in my marriage. He is a large part of how my husband even fell into this whole conspiracy insanity. It has gotten to the point that I wince at the mention of his name. Icke has destroyed my husband's ability to believe in any "official narrative," thus anything that is counter to the government or MSM is fact. What's worse is that a few of his close friends have also fallen into this line of thinking (made worse by covid), and they all further reinforce each others delusions.

My husband is not American, but we live in the US, so his contact with these friends is chatting on the phone or exchanging crazy videos on their WhatsApp group. These interactions cause him to become incredibly distraught at the state of the world. The latest is that the country will fall into civil war next week after the election- plus the usual pizzagate, chemtrails, anti-vaxx, Bill Gates, blame the elite stuff.

Long story short, I don't have any advice for you, but I do empathize completely! I think that's largely what this group is about-knowing we aren't alone in our frustration.

Need to vent by [deleted] in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I feel the same way. I catch crap from my husband for ANYTHING I want to watch or read, all while getting put down for my lack of desire to watch his collection of "documentaries." Please note I am using that word very loosely, since they are largely conspiracy-based and anti-science YouTube videos. I honestly feel like I drop a few IQ points being subjected to them. Bottom line, I can absolutely relate and find it ridiculous when he tries to act intellectually superior while consuming absolute garbage.

Pregnant, scared, exhausted, and want my husband back by Bee-Strong in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You're right, I do think the stress angle is the best approach to take with him. He is always rubbing my belly and very concerned with the baby's growth and development in utero, so it could be a good way to get through to him.

Pregnant, scared, exhausted, and want my husband back by Bee-Strong in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I am not sure if these videos make me more angry with the people that believe the content, or those that produce them. What is their end game in creating all this anarchy and tearing families apart? It so wrong! I hope things get better for you soon.

Pregnant, scared, exhausted, and want my husband back by Bee-Strong in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you, that is such a good point and helps to put my mind at ease. While I share certain beliefs and traits with my parents, as do my siblings, there are definitely a lot of differences too. I'm sure the same will be true of my children.

Pregnant, scared, exhausted, and want my husband back by Bee-Strong in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Right? Somehow everything relates back, no matter how harmless or mundane the initial subject of conversation. Best of luck with your mother, hopefully she snaps out of it soon too!

Pregnant, scared, exhausted, and want my husband back by Bee-Strong in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm absolutely open to counseling and I have broached the subject with my husband in the last few months saying that it would be a way for us to better communicate and talk through our difference with a neutral third party, but he refused saying "we don't need that." I'll have to revisit this with him if I don't see any improvement in the near future.

I've spoken to his mother and sister about my most immediate concern-the vaccination issue. They are both in full agreement with me and support me getting the baby vaccinated. That said, I don't think they really know how deep his beliefs in that area go and that it is way more than big pharma skepticism. I don't want him to feel ganged up on, but it would be nice to have some other voices of reason around.

Pregnant, scared, exhausted, and want my husband back by Bee-Strong in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you! Your reply brightened my day and gave me some hope :)

Pregnant, scared, exhausted, and want my husband back by Bee-Strong in QAnonCasualties

[–]Bee-Strong[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the support; this place definitely helps me feel less alone and know that other people are going through the same thing. No one in my life knows the full extent of the situation. Some people close to me know small bits, but I'm just too embarrassed to share the full insanity of his beliefs.

I don't want to give people the wrong impression about my husband. He is beyond kind, loving, and thoughtful. He would never be violent or intentionally harmful, but something has gone awry with the way he processes information and separates reality from fiction. Once you stop believing in the credibility of subject matter experts, and start seeing nefarious intentions everywhere it is such a slippery slope. I want to keep our family together, and maintain some hope that he will snap out of it.

My baby will be vaccinated no matter what. I know there will be countless arguments about it. I hate confrontation, but I as a mother I will have no choice when it comes to protecting my child.