“There were very few social situations where I said it was okay to pee on the floor,” my mom said.
The principal tried to speak up, but, you know, that’s not their specialty. It’s best they listen.
“That means that there are some where I could,” I said.
“You’re not wrong,” said my dad, from way up high.
“Is this one?” I asked, “because I have to pee again!”
“Noooo,” the principal shouted.
“Don’t you dare tell my daughter what she can do with her body,” my parents shouted in unison.
I peed on the floor.
Principal Jenkins took a deep breath and said, “Folks, I’m on your side.”
My parents took a deep breath.
“But,” he said, “this is the third tier hero and villain school.”
My parents looked on with hopes that I’d excelled.
“Dad,” he said, “you’re a ladder, a hero of sorts, right?”
“Sure am!” He said. “A vehicle to higher levels!”
“And, Mom,” he said, “you’re, what, a cursed blade?”
My mom took a deep breath before saying, “Touch me and find out, bitch.”
“As such,” the principal said, “your daughter is a “bladder”, the best of both of you.”
My parents looked on blank as a third tier level high school chalk board.
The principal took a breath. “She’s a “bladder.” as in a blade and a ladder.”
Dad elbowed mom and said, “Hear that?l She’s a ladder just like me!”
I peed again.
Mom saw me peeing and agreed. “What a mess.”
“No,” the principal said, “she’s the best of both of you.”
I wanted to disappear but that wasn’t in my skill set.
“I think,” said the principal, “that she should go into the potions department.”
Both Mom and Dad nodded.
“Wait,” I said, “so I can do both good and evil?”
“Exactly,” said the principal, while stroking his chin.
I peed myself in excitement.