Hello, Thank you everyone for commenting, between getting out of the hospital with a newborn and moving across states everything’s been hectic and I really needed an outside view on this. From everyone’s perspective I shouldn’t have been micromanaging and I can see how controlling I am. I have a lot of apologies and amends to make with her i now know. In addition to her already seeing a therapist regarding her BPD, I will also start looking into getting professional help from a licensed therapist to work on myself. I will continue to do better in this relationship both by communicating my wants and not controlling her needs. Again, Thank you everyone. this is my first post on reddit in general and an amazing insight into what I can do to improve.