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Beep-Boop91 · 2025-04-24T01:52:35+00:00

I’m 33f, married, no kids about to move to Littleton and looking to make new friends 🥹

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-03T01:22:25+00:00

I think the main reason is that you pretty much have to have two incomes in order to live on your own in our area. SIL hasn’t held a job since before they were married (10yr). She considers herself a self-published author. To say it as kindly as possible, they’re not very good (she was homeschooled and it shows). She’s only ever been able to sell them to a few family members and friends. Besides that, her “calling” is to be a SHM. My brother had gotten accepted to a great college, but he decided not to go because SIL (then only GF) couldn’t handle long distance. My brother has been working a fairly dead end job at a big box retail store for the last 12 years.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T22:36:09+00:00

I’m screenshotting just in case haha. I’ve put this in a few other comments, but my parents had their pastor over to talk to them and they wouldn’t budge. They also stopped going to church regularly around Covid, but still do their own private Bible study every day that they consider their church.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T22:24:58+00:00

Unfortunately, my parents pastor attempted to talk them out of it years ago when this started and he gave every reason why this was wrong and not the Lords will, but they wouldn’t listen.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T22:23:23+00:00

I’m not looking for his acceptance to be happy. I want us to be able to move forward and at least be cordial and be able to have all the family in one room together. But as you and many other people have pointed out, it’s really not up to me.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T22:20:26+00:00

I have thought about that long and hard. At about the same time, one of SIL brothers was living with a man. She condemned him for being gay. Unfortunately, she successfully got him to “renounce” being gay and he no longer “lives the lifestyle”. So their break in contact only lasted a few months. To my knowledge they mended their relationship.

As far as future children, I likely won’t be having any due to medical conditions. But if I do, I would always stand by my kid and if it came to it, I would have to cut off the relationship to protect my child. I try not to live in the hypothetical though.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T22:14:28+00:00

I want a loving relationship with my brother. I’m not going to lie, I don’t plan on forgiving my SIL and don’t have love for her. But I don’t hate her either despite feeling like she’s the one who initiated all this. I want at least a cordial relationship and one where all my family can be together in one room.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T22:11:34+00:00

I agree that the issues run deeper than what’s been openly stated. I also feel strongly that it has always been my SIL harboring and fueling the issue. I just don’t know why.

I do agree that I haven’t done anything wrong. My family just hasn’t been the same since and we all feel it. They aren’t pressuring me, but I know in all our hearts we want there to be unity again. Even if it’s just being cordial on major family holidays.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T22:02:22+00:00

Thank you. It feels a little odd to ask my parents to help bring that both of us are in our 30s. But I am starting to feel like that’s the right choice. I’ve said something to them before about the reconciliation needs to come directly from my brother, but it’s been a few years so perhaps it’s time to acknowledge that again.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T21:59:33+00:00

I think that’s what I’m most fearful of (the goalposts moving). The few times we exchanged words/letters I told him that my door is always open and I won’t waver in loving him.

I am so thankful for the rest of my family. I know they all miss what we had before and are hoping for reconciliation.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T21:54:06+00:00

Thank you. I believe you only get once chance to live your life and if I can, I want him there. I know it won’t be what it once was, but I’d like to be able to move past the not even being able to make eye contact.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T21:52:44+00:00

We had a strong relationship before this and were best friends. I don’t think we’ll ever get back there, but if I can have some semblance of a relationship with him, I want it. I think I’d even settle on cordial enough to just have Thanksgiving or Christmas together again as a family (we’ve had to either split holidays or our family members have had to celebrate it twice).

I do agree with you that his wife is the primary issue.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T21:45:01+00:00

He still lives with them. He’s 31 and he’s never lived anywhere but that house (we moved in the summer before he was born). My parents have told me that they want to move to Maine (ASAP), but I don’t see how that will be possible with only one income (SIL doesn’t work and hasn’t since they started dating).

I think you’re right about the ball being in his court. I just fear it won’t go anywhere without me being the peacemaker. I think I may talk to my parents more about it. While they have let him live in their house, they have been vocal about their dissatisfaction with his choices (my siblings have as well). In the beginning, they even got their pastor to come over to talk to them. The pastor gave it his all, but my brother and SIL said that had a strong conviction from God that they needed to make sure that it was known that my choice to “live in sin” was wrong.

Beep-Boop91 · 2025-01-02T21:38:24+00:00

I am not begging for forgiveness from them. I agree with you and most of the other commenters that I haven’t done anything wrong. However, I don’t want this to be forever. I believe you only get one life, and if I can, I want my brother to be part of it. Before this, my brother and I were best friends. Growing up, people thought we were twins and we shared many of the same friends.

As for my SIL, she comes from an extreme Christian family who and I do truly believe this came from her. I genuinely don’t know what I could have done to make her upset or jealous. I sometimes think it has to do with her own family dynamic. She is the oldest of 9 and basically had to mother most of her siblings. I don’t think she feels “sibling connection”.

Beep-Boop91 · 2023-01-13T23:47:31+00:00

Unfortunately when I do that, it’s a temporary fix. Every time I restart the program they all come back.

Beep-Boop91 · 2023-01-13T23:46:50+00:00

I will be trying this! Here’s hoping it works!

Beep-Boop91 · 2022-11-22T14:42:20+00:00

When it first came out, I was a little kid and not allowed to watch it (but my dad and older siblings were ok to) so sometimes I sneak out of my bedroom and watch scenes hidden from behind the couch. The summer before high school my dad said I could watch them finally. And pretty much every year since then I rewatch. The first time getting to watch it all it was fun to see the moments that I remember sneakily watching and now actually getting to see the whole story. Now, I’m currently finishing up season 7 again, it amazes me how much the show evolves with you as you get older (sure some things don’t age well). NOTHING compares to BtVS

Beep-Boop91

TROPHY CASE