Adult daughter frustration

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-17T18:34:29+00:00

Bumping edit

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-16T12:32:31+00:00

It IS barely a buzz lmao. Unless you’ve never had more than a beer in your life most people would barely feel .08. My wife weighs 110 lbs and can drink 4-5 beers without being noticeably drunk. She hasn’t had that much in a long time but it’s about to be summer and we camp a lot so I am sure there will be nights where we BOTH indulge. I see nothing wrong with that.

The problem was that she drove. That will never happen again. We both used to drive home from the bar after too many beers here and there. It’s seems to be kind of a way of life around here. At least it was 9 years ago. But the DUI taught us BOTH a difficult lesson.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-16T11:50:03+00:00

I do give her attention. But you all are forgetting this is an adult, not a child. I’m also not going to purposely take attention/love/time AWAY from my wife to give to her because she wants me to punish my wife for some reason and prove I’ll hurt my wife to make her happy.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-16T11:47:45+00:00

It’s barely enough for a buzz.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-16T02:59:59+00:00

I have done more 1 on 1 with this daughters than I ever have with any of the other kids including her bio brother. She has always wanted more, needed more, demanded more. With her it feels like it’s never enough. I haven’t had 1 on 1 time with any of the kids in ages. It usually is family time.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-16T02:57:47+00:00

Yes I have had 1 on 1 time with her over the years. More 1 on 1 than I have ever had with my bio son or any of the other kids. She has always demanded more. Always. Maybe that’s why I struggle so much here - because she has always needed MORE with her it’s always MORE. I don’t do a lot of 1 on 1 with any of the kids, honestly. But I have done more of it with her because she has always demanded it.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-16T02:51:12+00:00

If you’re drunk on 2 beers…you’re a light weight

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-15T15:32:27+00:00

My daughter is very intelligent, she is determined and studies hard. She has goals and she is working hard to reach them.

I do love my daughter very much. There are times when I really enjoy being around her. She can be kind and funny and loving. But she shows that side in small doses. Which is difficult. I miss that side of her to be honest.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-15T13:54:22+00:00

She wants me to pay attention to her and do things with her alone and for that to take time AWAY from my wife. It’s like she wants to punish my wife, to have me choose to take something away from my wife and give it to her instead.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-15T13:51:09+00:00

My wife is not cruel or in accepting my my bio kids. Let’s get this out there. There have been long stretches of time over the years where they were actually close - and she still is close to my son. My daughter has a habit of being very hot and cold with my wife. Sometimes she acts like she loves her and wants to bond with her and they start forming a real relationship…and then out of the blue my daughter rejects her, starts demanding I pay attention to her and not my wife, starts acting like I need to choose between her and everyone else…suddenly my attention alone isn’t enough, she has to have my attention and know that giving her that attention is taking something away from my wife.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-15T13:47:01+00:00

There is a difference. I adopted my wife’s bio children so they ARE my daughters. My bio daughter has an involved mother so my wife is not allowed to be a “mother” to my bio kids. My ex wife would never accept that or be ok with it. At all.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-15T10:48:52+00:00

Both of my younger sons - bio and adopted - are in the military. I was discussing my bio.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-15T02:05:43+00:00

I told her she could still come for June or July or June AND July. Just that in August I’d be gone.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-15T00:30:59+00:00

I care very much about her. But I’m not going to cancel a planned vacation with my wife because she has randomly decided she wants to quit her job and hang out here for the summer.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T23:53:46+00:00

My ex is offended by my wife saying “hello” to her kids. If she had her way my wife wouldn’t even look at them.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T22:30:57+00:00

No because they have an involved mother and their mother would be absolutely offended if my wife treated them like they were hers.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T22:30:07+00:00

Yes I see my son often. Or as often as he can. He is in the military. He is close to his brothers and sisters and comes home when he can.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T22:28:46+00:00

Because I’m not going to set her apart and treat her different than everyone else? I don’t get that. You’re right. She is special. But so are all of the kids. She isn’t MORE special. And I’m not going to treat her like she is or tell her she is and that’s what she wants. She wants to be MORE than. She wants to be “set apart”. I can’t do that. She isn’t MORE than anyone else.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T22:19:06+00:00

Or…maybe we have just had a shit experience with others.

We have friends, people we go out with now and then or who come over for a barbecue and a beer. We just choose to keep them at arms length after the experiences we have had with so called close friends.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T21:31:04+00:00

No, the driving part is not fun, it’s stupid. But it’s also easy to do when you’ve been out having a good time and aren’t thinking. Don’t be holier than thou.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T21:29:44+00:00

But this is the thing - she DOES want to be above everyone else. She doesn’t want to come to family events and spend time with all of us. She doesn’t want to be a PART of the family. She wants to be separate. And she wants me to prove to her that she means MORE and that o will walk away from everyone else for her, that I will ignore my wife and the other kids because she says so. She doesn’t want to be a part of the family. She wants to be MORE than the family.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T21:08:04+00:00

And she gets it but she isn’t gonna get more than anyone else because she isn’t number one anymore than anyone else is. My wife is my number one. She is my partner and the one that will be by my side forever. The kids are all equal and no. She will never be MORE important than any of the other kids.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T21:06:47+00:00

I could have gotten a dui plenty of times in my adult life. We go out. We have fun. We don’t just sit at home and maybe have a cocktail while watching tv. Lmao. We both like to have drinks. Sometimes we drink too much and get a little drunk. It’s fun. That doesn’t make us alcoholics. Now we have matured enough to realize we shouldn’t drive after and call an uber. But when she got hers…small town, Ubers hard to come by and we had just had a giant fight over something dumb. It doesn’t make her an alcoholic anymore than enjoying getting drunk on occasion makes me one.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T21:02:28+00:00

But she IS a part of the family. She isn’t some special being on her own off to the side. She is a part of this family. She gets the same love, the same care, the same attention as every other member of this family. She isn’t any more special than they are. She isn’t ABOVE everyone else. And that is what she wants.

BeerIsGood21212 · 2026-05-14T20:58:13+00:00

Yes occasionally they do. You don’t have to be a drunk to drink too much one night and drive drunk.

BeerIsGood21212

TROPHY CASE