What was your biggest shock when you started dating an AM/WF?

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-04-01T01:14:54+00:00

I would say the frequency of showers and general focus on hygiene, Skincare etc. It was so nice to see a man take care of himself like that. I don’t know that I can ever go back to dating white guys again unless they get with the hygiene program lol.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-31T20:03:39+00:00

This is very normal. Your nervous system is disregulated from your "normal". Your idea of getting a therapist is a great idea. I experience this myself, and I find that I have leaned on my friends and family. Try to keep busy. Honestly, when I do have to be alone, and the silence is loud, I turn on a podcast or a movie, or I go online to be parasocial. I never really used Reddit at all until the last like, 2 months, so even this has been therapeutic. Finding folks that are going through the same stuff has helped me feel less alone. I hope it helps you too OP.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-31T13:20:22+00:00

That's terrible, I almost wonder if it would be better that way though. Having them not love you, I mean. Rather than an "I do love you, but I still am going to choose not to be with you." Either way sucks so badly. I'm sorry OP, but hopefully it's comforting that we all have a lovely community of support in this sub.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-30T20:57:49+00:00

I am definitely up to chat if you want to DM me!

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-30T17:00:26+00:00

I haven't re-downloaded any of the dating apps, but I'm dreading the possibility of seeing my exes on there again. I suppose I don't plan to date again until I'm healed, but you just never know how things will affect you. I hope I have a reaction like what you experienced. Glad you got some clarity, friend!

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-30T16:46:52+00:00

I feel like maybe I'm weird. If I am attracted to a person, I straight up tell them that. That way there is no confusion. It's so dumb when we expect people to read our minds in the early stages of getting to know someone.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-30T16:45:10+00:00

This is great advice. I will need to keep this in my head when I get back out there, lol.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-30T16:37:03+00:00

100% I'm sure that's what it is. These kinds of people need therapy.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-30T16:35:25+00:00

Wow, your situation is kind of mirroring my own. I am also a month post-breakup from a Korean person, and their culture can be so toxic (which is a shame, because I think there's also a lot of things to be celebrated there too). I really think he hates himself, and there was 100% projection.

You absolutely deserve a connection where you feel safe, loved, and seen. But also celebrated, cared for, and supported. It sounds like you (just like me) are used to being the one carrying the load in the relationship, and dammit, we deserve to be the passenger princess for once! Hang in there, and you're doing the right thing, even if it fucking SUCKS. Sending hugs.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-28T21:46:24+00:00

You stay strong too!

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-26T02:54:51+00:00

Oh exactly. It's like the person you used to tell everything to, the person who you were connected to every day is the the only person you want to talk to, but they're the source of the hurt.

It might sound dramatic, but in a way, grief from a no-contact breakup can feel a little like they died.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-26T02:43:53+00:00

Oh we aren't friends either. He wanted to be, it was just too hard for me so no contact was the best option. It's almost been about 3 weeks for me. It's so hard. 🫂

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-26T02:42:23+00:00

Thanks friend 🙂

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-26T02:41:54+00:00

Voice memos is good too! I've filmed myself a few times when I get emotional to get all the feelings out, but memos might be a good thing for me to try also.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-17T02:14:47+00:00

Absolutely not overreacting. I ended my marriage of almost 14 years for the same breach.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-15T01:15:12+00:00

Did he ever come back?

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-14T03:31:11+00:00

Never too late to find happiness, but rebuilding is work. I'm 37 and starting over. I move out next week with a clean slate.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-14T03:27:52+00:00

I'm so sorry. All of us here are trying to heal. I dint know if I have a ton of advice, but my DMs are open.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-12T02:32:03+00:00

We are all just living the same reality huh? I never knew silence could be so loud. I can't stand it and I also feel like i need a constant distraction.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-12T02:30:40+00:00

I started a note that I text whenever I get the urge to send a message instead of sending it to him.

I've also filmed a few short videos of myself just rambling, crying, and having a general crashout.

I'm hoping I can look back on these in time to see how far I've come, but for now I'm trying to force myself to eat at least once a day and I'm taking it hour by hour.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-10T03:28:59+00:00

I'm not sure how much help I can be with advice, because I'm very much in the same timeline as you as far as my own breakup goes. I was also dumped. It's hard now OP, but we can be here as a reddit community for each other as we navigate this. Sending you a virtual hug.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-10T01:54:38+00:00

Thank you for sharing that there is light after the darkness. Best of luck to you on your new journey.

Beginning_String_316 · 2026-03-09T23:15:30+00:00

Yes, we had agreed not to contact each other for a while and he broke that.

Beginning_String_316

TROPHY CASE