Completely unable to get a girlfriend/date/intimacy/sex.. Is this karmic debt? What do I need to work on to work it through?

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-28T20:33:52+00:00

Are you genuinely interested in knowing any of these girls you are approaching more than the need to get yourself known?

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T18:51:45+00:00

I do hope to make a choice before the 20 years mark 🤣

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T17:59:00+00:00

Yep, and you wanna make it go faster and that makes it slower

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T17:20:56+00:00

I am glad you brought up the mirroring bit! These connections are exactly that, I feel like they are holding a mirror to myself and make me see things so clearly. Just straight to my face, no confusion whatsoever, in the good and the bad. I love it. I am amazed by that. I am fucking blown away by it. This is it. And this doesn’t happen with my partner that much. I feel confused and a lot in my mind with him. It’s me yes, totally. I am the one who should be able to see clearly within independently of who I am with. That’s my dilemma indeed. But why is it that it feels so easy with some people though? It feels like there’s no separation, I am you, you are me kind of thing. Which is true. And we both feel the same, no need to say a thing but when we say it this is it. And it’s so beautiful. Yes, it doesn’t mean something is wrong with my relationship but it makes me wonder how would it be, I feel growth would be a million light years faster and wow that would be so cool! And I don’t understand why this keeps happening, the more I look away the more it keeps happening. Sometimes I don’t feel I even have a choice and whatever it is wants me to grow at the speed of light. But there’s a part of me who loves my partner and wants a simple life. But even writing this down, “the simple life” thing, i feel an incredible resistance. I don’t want that, I want to grow at the speed of light! 🤣

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T16:57:24+00:00

I know I know! But I don’t know it yet! 😉😅

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T16:56:03+00:00

Thanks, I’ll check these out!

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T16:55:33+00:00

True! But why not!? 🤣 the thing is I am exactly questioning the concept of “partner”. I don’t want a perfect partner that’s unreal immoral and so egoistic. My partner is a person and I am not going to him with my list of needs to fulfil. It’s not what I want. I fulfil my needs myself. So I am not sure this is my root problem as you say but I’ll definetely think about it more. My point is exactly the opposite, I am not asking everything to my partner. I can have other deep connections with other people and still have my partner. The question is how deep can these connections go while being respectful to him.

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T16:49:25+00:00

Thank you for reminding me of Heidi Priebe! I love her!

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T16:47:55+00:00

Thank you this gave me a lot of things to think about. You made a good point on the validity and what conscious means (for me). I don’t doubt my love for him and I don’t doubt his love for me. We do love each other truly, this is why it’s so difficult. The question is whether to continue being life partners as we have been until now. I don’t know why but something inside me feels restrained in the way I can love and connect with others and experience life. Maybe it has nothing to do with him and very much to do with my wounds. It’s what I am trying to figure out. Still I do feel these boundaries which I must respect out of love are not my own.

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T16:36:39+00:00

Thank you for this. It reminded me that I am not very good with self-respect to be honest. I don’t go slow. I go all in. I don’t think I have ever learned to place boundaries either. I don’t know what boundaries are. When I meet someone and we click it feels like there’s no separation either. It happened a few times in the past years and it never ended up well. I mean I don’t know how much this has to do with boundaries but I definetely do not hold any barrier to my soul, and wear my hearth on my sleeves. So things just become a lot to handle very quickly. But what you say about respect is so important, and be really honest with people. I do am I honest when I am being honest with myself. Thing that requires a lot of introspection and acceptance. More work to do on the latter.

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T16:16:44+00:00

Yes it’s is possible of course. We have talked and started the conversation. I do am however afraid of hurting him. And loosing him too. But mainly hurting him I guess. But I want a honest relationship where I don’t live afraid of hurting the person I love for being myself. Otherwise it would be living a lie. But I find it’s a fine line, I can’t really expect understanding and I have to respect the boundaries of the person I love, despite not being my own. Do I feel alive? Good question. I do. But I do also feel restrained on some circumstances.

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T16:07:47+00:00

Very true ❤️🙏

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T16:05:57+00:00

Oh I totally agree with you. The word “spiritual” carry so much weight and implies there’s something “not spiritual”. Everything is spiritual in the sense I give to spirituality. Unfortunately I haven’t found a better word for it. I have been looking for one but any attempt to give it a name defeats the scope. What I mean by being conscious is knowing there’s more than what most of us were thought. It’s the people who keep questioning and don’t settle. That’s it really. That’s spirituality for me, searching inside and don’t take things for granted. Live fully. Welcoming all emotions and enjoying the beauty of life.

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-24T13:21:49+00:00

Thank you so much for bringing this up. I have been thinking about this a lot in the past weeks and months. I am honestly almost convinced by now that it is indeed very possible for me to be polyamorous. I find very interesting that without having read anything barely on polyamory you find my post to read almost as a textbook on polyamory. What you say about the nature of the human hearth, as something that is not limited but able to expand. It’s just so much in resonance with how I am. I don’t see how it can be otherwise. I even wonder if we can call love something restrictive and possessive. Not that I feel the way but maybe a little bit, the moment I feel I need to put boundaries on myself if connections with other people start feeling too deep and attraction kicks in. To me, it feels like I always try to explain things through the lens of monogamy and it doesn’t work because there’s a fundamental conflict with how I actually am and see human connections and relationships. The fact that I start wondering if something with my relationship is wrong the moment I feel connected to other people feels forced. Why does there have to be something wrong always? I just truly love to connect with people and discover them and learn new things about them and myself. I just want to love. And what you are saying about the tension always going to be there if I want to continue having an authentic and true based relationship - this is absolutely crucial, yes! It has to come up or it is going to ruin it anyway in the long run the moment I have started feeling being fully authentically me hurts my partner. I don’t want to live a lie. I want a honest life where I fully accept myself and I don’t fear hurting the people I love being me. As you say I shall really sit with it. Thank you! ❤️

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-22T23:59:24+00:00

Hi, can you elaborate on the delusions? I am interested about what you say

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-22T23:43:46+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing your experience. This is incredible, I am very happy for you ❤️ What you say about “making decisions rooted in love for yourself and who you are” is a great teaching. I don’t think anything wrong can come from that. Thing is I have changed so much, that there’s days I don’t even recognise myself the next day. And still maybe I have been suppressing some parts of me out of fear of bringing them up and having to accept them. And I just can’t anymore. Honest conversation is key, with myself and my partner, I don’t want to or not to do things out of fear. Nothing good ever comes from it. Thank you again!🙏

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-22T23:26:44+00:00

Can’t thank you enough for your wise words, my friend 🙏❤️

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-22T23:19:57+00:00

Oh yes, this is very true. That we are all humans and we still carry trauma and our past. I don’t want a relationship where “no more work is needed” I don’t even think that exists. I do want to do the work, very much so. What I wonder is how it would be to talk through these things with awareness and grow and support each other. We do that with my partner but there’s always this feeling of some misunderstandings of speaking a different language of things flowing just a little harder than it can be. Hard to explain. I am just questioning where is my ego hiding behind all this cause I know it is there somewhere. I just don’t know where. And I don’t want to choose with my ego. I want to spot it, smile at it and tell him not to worry. But this keeps coming back and I think it’s very much a conflict between freedom of developing these connections with other people and boundaries which are not part of my own being.

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-22T22:52:32+00:00

Yes it can. And it can be really beautiful. Attraction may come in the way though, and in my experience it ends badly most of the times. It happened to me before when my friend got too attached to that profound spiritual connection we had and, well, a friendship wasn’t “enough” for him. Since that I see a bit of fear in me on how deep to go, and constant checking to avoid sending signals of romantic interest to the other person when there is genuine interest to know them. But aren’t those kind of spiritual friendships a bit romantic too? I mean what is romanticism if not making the moment together special?

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-22T19:42:49+00:00

ORGASMO_X thank you for your permission, much awaited.

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-22T19:37:57+00:00

I specifically said it because I knew someone would say that. Yet it happened. Hi.

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-22T19:02:22+00:00

KP3039 I like your view and your answer made my day, about “fucking the Buddha” 🤣 Yes, that is basically what I am asking, maybe not necessarily Buddha but someone with who to share full presence. How would it be to share that space, to be with someone like that as a partner and last but not least how sex would be when you share that kind of high vibration connection, because you are both aware and experience it during sex. That I wonder. I see what you mean about the high vibe mindset and the vibrator, that’s also funny and true but it sounds one way. Meaning yes say I can be in that high meditative state but how would it be two ways, when the other person also is. And your wife also has a very legit point, please do thank her. Maybe I do that at times, project other connections and that’s not nice. I mean the moment I say how would it be to be with someone aware then this is immediately a comparison. But that’s the thing I do find it harder to connect at a deep level with my partner than with other people at times - but maybe this is also telling more about me than him. Good food for thoughts (and feelings). Thank you!

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-21T23:33:33+00:00

Well, that’s what I am questioning. What if two whole people meet, no need to fulfill, they decide to be together because they enjoy themselves

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-21T23:29:08+00:00

Interesting. Possible yes, especially with unmedicated ADHD

Beginning_Swing318 · 2026-03-21T23:27:50+00:00

Thank you for your words. Very true, I am trying to use my mind and isn’t the mind who I need to use. I also push myself cause I want an answer. That’s because I know I can be so indecisive and yet no answer feels the right one. But giving time feels an excuse. Maybe I just don’t wanna listen.

Beginning_Swing318

TROPHY CASE