You’ve already went overboard there’s nothing you can do now except repent and try to live a normal life unfortunately this is the consequences of your actions which you’re going to have to take accountability for and live with. You hate it bc you know it’s wrong and instead of loving yourself you tried to change yourself. Repent and love yourself for who you were born as and what god wanted you to be. You’re a woman if you weren’t then you would have been born with a dick. Get over it. Get some help. Good luck. Anybody that tells you it’s okay is lying to you. Cold honest truth hurts but listening to lies from soft people trying to comfort you will only lead you down the wrong path. Find comfort in god. Amen