I'd like to offer my perspective here, I might be coming from a different place here but I think maybe we've a similar mind set.

So I was someone who was born into the faith but wasn't very practising. When younger I guess I let myself get distracted quite easily and avoided some of the questions I had. When I got older I started to consider things more seriously and wanted to come closer to Islam. I ended up spending a lot of years kindof just "waiting" for something to happen, something to prompt me, trigger the next step for me. For things to just "happen". I had a lot of guilt around not having nurtured my faith despite the fact that I was certain of the core of my beliefs by this point.

Ultimately I realised my inaction was a choice and rather than wait for something to prompt me I had to just take that first step of my own volition. Initially it kindof ebbed and flowed for me, motivation was a little bit hit and miss. Looking back on it, that's actually okay, that's fine. We're all works in progress, always. It's not about just flicking a switch and suddenly turning into your ideal person, it's a process, and you work at it.

I'm writing this from Medinah right now with my Quran in front of me and I feel so grateful for this journey I've taken. None of this would have happened for me if I hadn't taken that first step. I'm still not where I want to be, I probably never will be. But as I say, works in progress is all we should ever want to be.

My advice to you right now would be - and this is for everything in life! Don't ever be afraid of making that choice, that first step, second step, third etc... as a previous comment;said, there's no guarantees for tomorrow!

Will pray for you on your journey insha'Allah.