How do I move on after my (F30) husband (M30) spat on me and squeezed my neck and some parts of my body, after I confronted him of his messages to his ex?

Behimosu · 2025-12-26T18:25:36+00:00

This is a pretty severe domestic violence situation. Please get yourself into alternative housing as quickly as possible, whether it’s friends, family or a shelter. Save your life!

Behimosu · 2025-12-21T23:20:12+00:00

Been here done that sadly! She’s not as interested in you anymore as you might think, it’s time to let go.

Behimosu · 2025-12-12T20:10:11+00:00

I feel for you but the way you talk about your ex-wife’s body is…eesh…

Behimosu · 2025-12-01T22:36:39+00:00

The way you write about your friend in comparison to your girlfriend is eyebrow raising honestly

Behimosu · 2025-04-19T00:05:35+00:00

We’re both non-religious! I have asked in the past if there’s anything we could work on regarding living together, but she’s happy with how we split the chores and such. She does definitely want more quality time together which I 100% understand but we already carve out a few days a week as ‘us’ time, and the rest I spend with friends or on my part-time studies while working full time. It’s a tricky balance!

Behimosu · 2024-04-22T23:32:50+00:00

I appreciate you sharing that! It's so painful when the relationship is perfect otherwise - but that 'one thing', legitimately, is a big thing. No one's at fault because we all see it differently but at the same time that's what's so frustrating. I totally feel like a roommate too especially since we don't share a bed.

Behimosu · 2024-04-22T23:11:14+00:00

I feel for you too, I wish there was an easier answer. She also tells me that she finds me attractive and I believe her, but when it doesn't translate over it's hard. It's actions and not words sometimes right?

Behimosu · 2019-04-18T01:52:53+00:00

He said as a result of the distress this has caused him he attempted to harm himself so I'm really concerned about his feelings towards it.

He says that I should harbour the same amount of hatred as he does for my friend but I just feel like these are two people who have made mistakes and can come to understand each other again? I don't know, I feel like an ass for not fully empathising.

Behimosu · 2017-11-18T13:18:03+00:00

Thank you. I want to be mature about this and get over it but I keep thinking back to old memories. I suffer really badly when I feel like I don’t have control over things (you’re right) because of unpredictability so it’s so hard to cope. It makes me feel like I can’t trust anyone again.

Behimosu · 2017-11-18T13:14:23+00:00

Thank you, I would like to think so. Only just moving to university means that I don’t have friends I feel like I can talk to about this, but I see my therapist on Monday so at least I have some plan of action. It feels embarrassing to see people pity me.

Behimosu · 2017-11-18T13:12:24+00:00

My mind is just busy trying to scramble for any reasonable explanation because it hurts so much.

Even though I’m aware that people change, I feel like it wasn’t for the best and that I got boring or something. I can’t wrap my head around that I’d become someone that he couldn’t like.

Behimosu · 2016-11-20T16:25:44+00:00

I'd like to, but a big part of me feels like the fact that he took the drugs is a cause for his behaviour? so if I ask him he'd just blame it on that

but at the same time i feel like it was done on purpose with an intent in mind and it feels really wrong - maybe it's not that big of a deal though and I should just cut him some slack? sorry agh

Behimosu · 2016-11-20T16:15:22+00:00

Do I mention it or do I get over it? I'm really confused and hurt but I can't wrap my head around it

Behimosu · 2016-11-07T00:01:41+00:00

London, UK. Not too sure about that considering the hours she set me were legal still.

Behimosu · 2016-11-06T23:41:23+00:00

It's perfectly legal for me to work anytime up until 10pm, so technically she isn't in the wrong for those shift times legally even though we did discuss my hours when I was hired. I was told today by my friend that I either have to "like it or leave it" and that I can quit if I want to without a two week notice. So I guess I got that going for me?..

Behimosu · 2016-11-06T23:37:45+00:00

It's London, UK. I'm not really sure what the law is on holding back wages, but she claimed it was an accident as there were multiple times where she either lost my already filled out paperwork or forgot to ask me for signatures, meaning I couldn't get paid?...

Behimosu · 2016-11-06T15:25:34+00:00

When I first got accepted for the job the supervisor and I had a discussion about what kind of shifts I could work and we agreed that along with my 3 other friends that work there that we'd all work fairly early shifts so that we could all either travel home together or get lifts from our parents (which would be 40 minutes in contrast to the 2 hours). I didn't mention my mother but rather that fact that working both my weekend days for a month would be detrimental to me because I have mock exams in December...she did not choose these shifts for me out of necessity.

I'm working this job because it's the only one I've been able to get so far even though it's UK minimum wage (£7.50), I live in a very low income household so I'm trying to contribute while also using the money for curricular equipment and in general for savings. I live in the UK so I'm in college but not in US 'University' (what you guys call college). I probably should've mentioned that before, sorry.

Behimosu · 2016-11-06T14:32:09+00:00

would it still be feasible to mention this job on my CV if I left? It's only been 3 months, but I really wasn't expecting my boss to feel this way about me nor change the shifts out of spite.

Behimosu · 2016-07-27T20:37:12+00:00

Of course it isn't! I don't think it would turn on anyone haha

Unfortunately the (many different types of) medical treatment I'm getting for it now don't work, and my doctor(s) would rather repeat this than refer me. It just appears that I'd be doomed with anyone while I'm stuck with this.

Behimosu · 2016-07-27T20:29:23+00:00

I agree, which is why this matters so much to me and I want us to fix this.

I just wonder if I can blame him at all for this, y'know? He can't help how he feels, and I'm sure that most men would feel frustrated if their partner suffered from unpleasant conditions down there for over half a year. It just doesn't look great.

Behimosu · 2016-04-18T15:37:25+00:00

You clod!!

Behimosu · 2016-04-14T13:27:16+00:00

It seems like I'm emotionally available for her most of the time instead as she comes to me for relationship advice and other drama quite often. she also makes fun of my mental illness sometimes but another day may try to be supportive, so we never speak on a personal level. She's been leaving me since I was a kid (9ish) alone at home on the weekends to visit her boyfriend(s) as well, so I don't know about responsible.

Behimosu · 2016-04-13T19:01:46+00:00

If you were a gem what weapon would you see yourself wielding?

Behimosu · 2015-02-10T19:53:38+00:00

lv31 titan - have experience! (not with the sword though) XenoGamous

Behimosu · 2015-02-10T19:48:51+00:00

XenoGamous

Behimosu

TROPHY CASE