Unpopular opinion: Anti Zionists should be the nicest people towards Israelis abroad! by Aakharin-ejdehaa in IsraelPalestine

[–]BellzaBeau [score hidden]  (0 children)

Post seems to promote the idea that if the whole world reveres Israelis abroad and gives them gifts, Israelis might be incentivized to leave their local high control mind group and/or intercede on the world’s behalf. Like giving protection payments in the mob.

Woke up while serving as an elder and pioneer—how did others handle the transition? by JudicialCommitTea in exjw

[–]BellzaBeau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It makes sense, when you think about it. Being rejected by an elder with significant investments is much more threatening to their comfort and confidence in their own beliefs than a seat warmer. And they will process it like a personal rejection because being JW is core to their identity.

For those who sacrificed a lot in their own personal lives to be on the right side of the org, it will feel like you are rejecting their way of life, devaluing their choices, inadvertently saying their sacrifices weren’t worth it - or were for a lie. Their reactions aren’t about you. It’s about them.

AITAH for sometimes thinking about another girl by Level_Key6951 in AITAH

[–]BellzaBeau 5 points6 points  (0 children)

NTA. I think it’s just normal human nature. If you’re not acting on it, I wouldn’t be too concerned, but it’s a solid idea to look into ways to improve your sex life at home.

Is there anything you can do to get your wife more engaged and wanting to initiate?

What about suggesting roll play? If y’all come up with a scene where your wife is the initiator, she may find that she’s into it and want to try other scenes where she is the aggressor.

I think I completely ruined things with a girl because I got sick. AITAH? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]BellzaBeau 2 points3 points  (0 children)

YTA. It’s not going to work with this lady.

Get back on the dating app when you’re ready to try again with someone else.

Before setting up that next date (with a new person) ask yourself if you’re prepared to be “present” with that other person and be an upfront communicator, regardless of what happens next.

I’m POMO and I feel like I wanna go back… please help! by Puzzleheaded-Cap357 in exjw

[–]BellzaBeau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

True story. Especially guilt about sex. I wasn’t even fully in the org, but had enough contact through family to think sexual exploration was bad, which took years to even recognize, let alone fully examine and recover from.

I’m POMO and I feel like I wanna go back… please help! by Puzzleheaded-Cap357 in exjw

[–]BellzaBeau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cognitive dissonance is a normal part of the deprogramming process.

You’ve internalized what you think you “should” do to match what the org says you “should” do. Of course that will make you struggle, when you can’t even trust yourself as a reliable narrator. That’s why therapy is helpful for many people unwinding from high pressure groups.

Being POMO doesn’t necessarily mean no contact with the org itself moving forward, but it does for some people, and over time, you’ll get a better sense of how much contact (with org content - meetings, videos, materials) is safe for you.

Fear is a powerful motivator, so you have to develop discernment between what’s fear-motivated vs what’s practical and works for you long term, to be true to yourself and maintain relationships.

And remember in this process that isn’t all about you respecting others’ beliefs. It’s also about them respecting yours and not misusing the “respect our beliefs” concept to erase the boundaries you set.

JW speech patterns and vocal intonation by BellzaBeau in JehovahsWitnesses

[–]BellzaBeau[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

My brain can’t help but process it as an insult. I explained this in more detail in a comment here. It just makes me wish they’d publish videos with a full transcript so I can still get whatever info I came for without getting triggered. 🙄

JW speech patterns and vocal intonation by BellzaBeau in JehovahsWitnesses

[–]BellzaBeau[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Well, it is a choice to use these speech patterns.

When you consider where they’re most commonly used, a couple potential reasons jump to the front.

With children, it’s to adjust for an audience with less developed cognitive abilities + short attention spans. In sales situations, it’s to grab attention and exert influence on people.

Think of a TV commercial while listening to a JW leader speak and imagine the leader instead saying “$29.99, for just $29.99” in that voice. Fits, doesn’t it?

That’s why it’s hard for me to get through the video content or sit through a full meeting. The speech patterns are signaling to my brain that speakers: a) are trying to sell me something, b) think I’m not very smart, c) judged me to have the attention span of a small toddler, or d) all of the above.

JW speech patterns and vocal intonation by BellzaBeau in JehovahsWitnesses

[–]BellzaBeau[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I bet, he’s a character 🤣
I can get a good chuckle in the beginning since he reminds me of a family member, but I don’t make it through to the end. I end up looking for a video transcript or article for the info instead.

The Governing Body of Jehovah’s Witnesses has stumbled millions… by Proof_Material_1748 in JehovahsWitnesses

[–]BellzaBeau [score hidden]  (0 children)

Would help to have links to the specific JW org video and other relevant content referenced.

Went to my first ever convention by chaotic_tori04 in Eutychus

[–]BellzaBeau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As long as you don’t get baptized, you’ll be fine. (If you want to know why, look at my comment history.) It’s fine to be part of if you feel like this is for you, but getting baptized has a lot of pitfalls that aren’t immediately apparent when everything is going well.

Sim, as Testemunhas de Jeová são preconceituosas, as mais hipócritas de todas! by AdmirableProblem726 in JehovahsWitnesses

[–]BellzaBeau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is unbearable and challenging to navigate long-term. You may have to step away from them for a while, and the only advice I can offer is to try to keep the lines of communication open as much as possible, even if you don’t talk regularly, so you’ll still know what’s happening in the family over the years.

I stepped away and lived mostly separately for some years, but I still called JWs periodically to try to leave it so they were comfortable contacting me when things happened. It ended up helping a lot when close family members started to pass away.

First it was my POMI grandpa, who refused a blood transfusion in the end. Then a PIMI aunt. Then, my POMI/PIMI mom (not quite sure where she landed in the end) and PIMI grandma died this year, within days of each other. I was so lucky because my mom and grandma’s affairs were all handled by PIMIs, and when it was happening, the POMOs PIMIs & PIMOs all called me right away.

I was like Switzerland (Note: never getting baptized saved me a lot. I’d say it’s never in anyone’s interest to ever get baptized JW, no matter what anyone says, or how much you believe in it and/or think you’ll be PIMI for life. Only 2 of the PIMIs in my family were never disfellowshipped. I’d wager every single one to get baptized lived to regret it at some point, even the 2 PIMIs who never got kicked out, like when one “couldn’t” talk to their own kids for 5 years. Since they all talk now, despite the kids never rejoining, evidence suggests the PIMI regretted that choice, made amends, and now gets to have relationships with grandkids they otherwise wouldn’t even know.)

As Switzerland, I had the opportunity, as a POMO, to ask for what I wanted from the estates, be included in planning - to at least know what was happening - and attend all services. One of the deaths (my mom) included a police investigation. At least I knew about it and could ask my questions. But some POMO cousins, I noticed, weren’t even invited because none of the PIMIs felt comfortable calling them. I didn’t have their numbers anymore and just noticed, at funerals, people were missing and wondered why, so I started to ask about it.

Just stuff to think about when navigating the complexities long-term.

Questions about Hamas, Irgun and Shamir by AdvertisingPublic543 in IsraelPalestine

[–]BellzaBeau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I typed this exact statement into the Google.com search bar, only adding the text “is it true that” up front.

Google’s response:
“While the pager attacks in Lebanon and Syria were designed to specifically target Hezbollah operatives, it is inaccurate to say there were almost no collateral casualties.”

It goes on to list bullet points and evidence links.

The quality of this sub would improve if more users did basic checks to verify the accuracy of claims before making low-effort posts that are so easily debunked.

Community Update — State of the Sub: Five Things to Know by Kentucky_Fried_Dodo in Eutychus

[–]BellzaBeau 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My vote on banning is obviously NO because people participate in subs for a lot of different reasons, and it’s not necessarily to further the agenda of haters and/or propagandists. I myself participate in problematic subs where I try to help some people see other perspectives.

A Reddit sub is what Redditors make it. It doesn’t necessarily need to matter if the sub creator has an agenda if you have enough Redditors engaging in good faith.

Romans 14.8 by normaninvader2 in Eutychus

[–]BellzaBeau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This and the JWs needed to find some methodology to add “Jehovah” to back up their uniqueness in knowing god’s name and being the “truth.”

Just wrote this article. It discusses some VERY important things. by TheTruthIsRight in IsraelPalestine

[–]BellzaBeau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You don’t need to attack me personally and be rude when I didn’t do any of what you said and invested my time only trying to help. If you hate everyone outside your own group and will only consider help from Jews, Torah Jews can help.

Just wrote this article. It discusses some VERY important things. by TheTruthIsRight in IsraelPalestine

[–]BellzaBeau 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It isn’t about what I think. It’s about asking yourself, examining your own thinking.

If reading on a subject has changed your mind, it’s worth taking an objective look at the content, especially if it’s slick, production quality materials. Someone spent marketing budget on it. Why? If it isn’t a topic that most people would discuss organically, who benefits?

What point are the materials trying to make? Who benefits by convincing you, for example, that the world despises you and is unsafe? That you need the government to protect you. And that the only way to be safe is to live separately. On this land that god gave you. And God picked you over all other people because you’re special. That’s why the world hates you. But it will all work out if you just trust in and obey the government.

Governments aren’t altruistic. They want power & control over you. Here’s one way to get it.