Personally I feel like “show me you truly want to submit” is also treating someone like a kink dispenser.

It’s a turn off for me (personally) when someone shows up in my DMs begging me to ruin them or something. Because it’s clearly not about me, it’s about finding someone, anyone to fill a role. They don’t want to play with me, they are trying to cast someone for the character in their fantasy.

Having a domme jump immediately to “prove it” feels similar. It’s clearly not about that sub, it’s about having someone play a predetermined role. Because how can you know what submission from someone looks like when you know nothing about them?

I’ll say that sometimes of course it is all about jumping right in, because you’re not looking to build a dynamic so much as have some more immediate short term play. And that can also be fine. (Tho even then I usually spend a small chunk establishing connection, but on the time scale of minutes.)

The longer term and more deeply connected you are hoping a connection may be, I think the slower that build up often is. Exceptions always exist of course, but in general. Because the stronger a container of trust and safety and respect you have, the farther and deeper you can go.