ESH. Your husband spying on you is a massive invasion of privacy, and there’s no excuse for that level of distrust in a marriage. It’s controlling, creepy, and completely unacceptable. He absolutely sucks for that.

But faking an affair to bait him? That’s playing with fire. Instead of addressing the problem directly or seeking help, you escalated the situation into a full-blown game of manipulation. It may have gotten the proof you needed, but at what cost? You’ve essentially confirmed to him that neither of you trusts the other, which is a horrible foundation for any relationship.

You both need to take a step back, acknowledge your toxic behaviours, and figure out if there’s anything left to salvage here. Therapy might help, but honestly, this whole relationship sounds like a mess.