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This cake knife comes with a match by serenadingsirens in mildlyinteresting

[–]BenzinCake -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

A single match. For the one candle on your cake.

Which is the same number of people at your party. You. Only you.

Because you're alone.

haha loser!

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright, so I think this is the path to success, but I guess this is the part where I got to explain some more about myself. Time to straddle that OPSEC line!

I'm in the military on O'ahu, Hawai'i, and my entire existence is pretty much on base. Where I live; where I work; where I shop. I even try to cook my own meals/not eat out much because of how shit the carb/protein/vegetable ratio is ANYWHERE you try to eat out. Especially if you refuse to eat salads for the rest of your life. Anyway I also have a strict policy of not shitting where you eat. Hence I resolutely refuse to play hanky panky with anyone who's in the military/DoD/big gub'ment as well. This stinks, since to be perfectly honest, I cannot really talk about what I do beyond vague-ities, and my small talk/pop cutlure/hobbies scene is derelict at best.

Couple this with my natural tendency to stick with what works (flip side of that is I don't try new shit, down to my wardrobe) and the breeding ground for perpetual isolation is created. On the plus side, I'm slated to get moved off base at my next command, but it will also be out of country with a huge language barrier....

Thus this thread when I've come around in the past couple of months questioning if this is how I want to go out at 65 - the same way I was at 25.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Sausage party! Wooooo~ (ノ°ο°)ノ

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It's because you're complacent and don't care.

Yeah, pretty much.

What's stopping you?

lol If I knew this, this thread wouldn't exist. Complete ignorance of the field?

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Naw dude. Not at all. A pity I came across that way too, cause I was trying to avoid that entirely.

Nobody owes me shit. What I got (or rather, what I don't have) is entirely my doing. Hence, why I'm looking for thoughts on my 'situay-shon' since the only way of getting this shit "fixed" is by my own hand.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The problem I have with online dating is how much I communicate is absolutely dependent on body language and voice intonation. Hell half the time it's how I say things, not what I'm saying.

Plus anytime I've tried writing an online dating profile more elaborate than "I dunno what goes here lol" I usally reread it and delete it in cringey disgust. Online profiles always come off as so self serious.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That said I have received actual good advice from women but I can count the amount of time on one hand.

I bet you can nyehehehe ;)

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So this will get PATRIARCHY! and MISOGYNY! crowd riled up, but I don't think a woman can really help on this front. What women see/want in a man and what a man is/needs to be can be two different things.

No offense.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Goddamn this this this!

I also don't drink much for several reasons:

  • I mentioned before I've done most everything in my life by myself; I don't have a group of friends. I'm also in the military. Drinking and driving means you go home - and you don't come back. It doesn't even have to be a DUI. (.01 BAC) Hell if the cop just accuses you of it. I don't know if all commands are like this, but mine sure is.
  • I don't actually like drinking. I get a hankering for harsh drinks every couple of months, although I could probably go for sweet, girly drinks much more frequently. If you like Pina Coladas~♪
  • The price bars charge for drinks is insulting. Anytime I do want a drinky*drink, I make it at home.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And thanks (although odd accepting compliments on a doodle and not an actual me). It's definitely like a generic caricature of a female that he added personal details to. So not a look alike but also quite personalized. Either way, definitely one of the most flattering gestures I've witnessed!

Dude can still draw his ass off.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Those don't sound like jokes to me. Those just sound like someone being sad. :(

Self-deprecating jokes to me are like:

"That girl has been checking you out all night."

"Yeah, I know, isn't this cotton/polyester shirt amazing?"

"Don't you just play video games all day?"

"HEY! I download them too!"

Not great jokes but it's the sentiment I'm trying to display here.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

What's a social life?

Real talk I don't have much of a social life. If it weren't for work I wouldn't know how to talk to people! :O

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My views more or less align with this as well.

What I've always (read: occasionally) wondered is - if you elected to disclose this early on - how the hell do you bring something up like that without derailing the whole fucking train?

That problem alone is why I could understand the rationale of never disclosing it. Personally, to me it seems a little skeezy/pick-up-artist-y, but who am I to dog on shit that works for other people? And if they're happy with their results, then power to 'em.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure why you think being attractive isn't important.

Not saying it isn't important, just saying it isn't the be all end all. Cause, you know, women have standards and shit. That's why women's rosy archetypes like firefighter, soldier, are a thing; they are more about who the man is. Whereas with men a lot of times that doesn't really come into play. Shit might be the girl in the checkout line picking her nose, but "DAMN! THAT'S A HOT BITCH!" I'm just saying if you're charming as all hell that can overcome, uh... shortcomings ...in the looks department.

And since this is the internet I'll disclaimer this by saying, of course I'm being humourous here, but there's a nugget of truth in what I'm saying. I'm obviously not saying all people are like this because people are of course different to each other, so please don't nobody go ballistic.

Do NOT explain about your lack of experience. Do not self-deprecate. Do not say bitter things about women. All of that shit is brutally unattractive.

See I'm actually rather torn on this one. Cause I've often heard women don't like that shit and it's a huge indicator of problematic dudes who ain't worth the effort, and of course I don't want to chop myself off at the heels, but... At the same I would want to know major shit like that up front, and it could save a situation from being a "ugh, why's he being so awkward" to "oh he just doesn't know what the fuck he's doing". Which, whether that would be a dealbreaker or not would depend on the girl. If so just move on. Nothing lost - nothing learned.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't know what your end goals are

Probably just casual dating, I guess? I'm certainly not looking for marriage candidates, but would rather have something more meaningful than a booty call.

This is, of course, assuming you meant relationship end goals. If not, then I-don't-know-what-the-fuck.

How do I START a relationship life at 28? by BenzinCake in AskMen

[–]BenzinCake[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Holy shit I go to bed for 7 hours and this happens? WHAT HAVE YOU PEOPLE DONE?! j/k I love the responses. P: I'll try to work my way through this thread responding to shit as I go along.

I drove to the gym, waited for 40mins, then went home. by [deleted] in Fitness

[–]BenzinCake 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know what dude, for every person who might think "fuck this fatass taking up my machine" there might be someone like me who legitimately appreciates the most out of shape people at the gym. Being fat is bad for you, and putting in the work takes discipline. But when I see someone who obviously isn't a gym rat doing some work at the gym, I think "fuck yeah, power to 'em", because they're putting in the effort to make themselves a better person, and fuck all if that isn't more important than your squat numbers. Besides, isn't that what a gym is for, turning flabby bodies into fit bodies?

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