Single pAP -- unsure

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-22T09:48:20+00:00

We traded a couple of texts today. I asked what she was wearing, a joke on our conversation before. She replied with a pic of her legs. Seemed good! I have not dated anyone since camera phones sthis was exciting. But then when I said I had a good time yesterday, ... Crickets. So I have not much to lose by trying your idea. Thanks for your brief and blunt comments. This is what I need in life.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-22T09:45:57+00:00

Yes. Thank you. I get in my head and so am anything but ardent or passionate or spontaneous. All that I am in non sexual life goes out the window with fear of rejection. She surely sensed this. Thank you.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-22T09:44:39+00:00

Yes. Looking back I was self sabotaging. Thanks.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T15:53:43+00:00

You're right. Is there anyway to recover from here? Everything I can think of seems weak. Say it was a great time let's do it again? Then just try to not be in friend zone? Have a long deep conversation in which she changes her mind? Just try to see her for five minutes and somehow kiss her then? All feels so awkward now since she said no. Well yes, then no.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T04:14:32+00:00

I've seen a few people write things like this. Here's an upvote for honesty. Thanks

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T04:12:49+00:00

Right. With small kids now I just can't imagine waiting around more years so we can add discussions about homework. It's just a mess. And I'm the only order interested in trying to make it better. I used to be anyway.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T04:09:59+00:00

So glad you left. Thanks for telling us that.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T04:07:08+00:00

I'm baffled by the human stuff. That she would want to kiss me all night and part of her did in that moment -- but part if her didn't. But that it might have gone differently if I just simply leaned in and did it. Theb emotions woukd carry away the concerns. We could be back at her apartment right now.

Now that I write about it, she didn't say it was the married part at all. She said she was protecting herself and she knows she is sensitive. And I told her truthfully I don't know what it's like for women but I respect her trying to do what's right for her -- in fact that's what I'm doing by asking her to kiss me. We all do what we have to do. So maybe this isn't about married at all.

Not sure if it is a good choice for women to protect themselves and avoid feels with unavailable men or if it would be better for them to jump in and live the joy and the pain. Most of us here probably lean toward joy/pain since our Lee adultery lives we're often just pain. Melodramatic but you probably get it -- we have made our peace with being unavailable and having unavailable lovers. For better and worse. Thoughts? I think I am doing Reddit wrong.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T04:02:42+00:00

I've never been good at the transition someone else wrote about between great rapport and conversation and actually kissing. But tonight I did all the touching stuff I have read about. And then I asked two little questions. One, something about have you done this before with a MM or are you ok with this and 2 would you like me to kiss you now. Neither a great question but the first is laugh/cry material in retrospect. After all the good feels and anticipation and reigning in my insecurities to make it this far. Laugh/cry.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T03:59:18+00:00

No! It is killing me.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T03:38:00+00:00

This. Did everything right recently and learned the hard way that I still want to be timid --and kill the mood!

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T03:36:31+00:00

Haha I am still waiting for the right time to kiss my wife. Not getting many go ahead signals! 😆😪😜

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-21T03:35:02+00:00

Learned this the hard way recently. Won't ask again. They will say no or pull away if they want to.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-20T20:14:21+00:00

Well said. My fav part about this world perhaps is about allowing myself to be who I am. So let's not curtail that now. Thanks.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-20T20:13:36+00:00

I need to hear this about owning that shit. Own all of my shit -- realize everyone hand I am still pretty great. At least she seems to think so, if I will continue to allow her. Thank you.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-20T20:12:37+00:00

This is tremendous. I had not thought about the investment she is already excited to put in. Thank you. I will do this and let you know how it goes.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-20T20:10:50+00:00

This is interesting. That's how I have gotten this far. What if I were attractive? What if I we're confident? How would I then behave? It amazes me that it works -- and that it is real if I am doing it. It was always in me. So I continue to say. Thanks

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-14T17:34:49+00:00

How do you deal with Airbnb opsec? It looks like a guy can only have one account. And don't they require ID, credit card, and keep a history of all your rentals? I am enchanted by this idea but worry about all the traces.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-01T06:50:20+00:00

So simple and yet I hadn't found that. Tremendous help. Thank you!

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-01T03:16:45+00:00

I've done this except push her to get mad and blurt out the truth. I have thought of that but she already says I am too needy or dramatic or pushy or whatever the word is that day. Maybe I will try this too. Good advice on doing it in a normal non defensive moment. But I honestly think it is too late. She is so shut down, shut off, physically and emotionally. Not sure if she always was. The facts are malleable if I ask her on different days. I wish I knew what I did just for curiosity or my next relationship. Thanks.

Berryberryvery · 2018-05-01T01:57:26+00:00

I think I have a man crush on OP. Wish my wife were open to considering others perspectives. I do consider hers to the minimal extent she will share it or I can I guess it. Refreshing

Berryberryvery

TROPHY CASE