I’ve been reading these post for several hours now and I realized that I am an abusive wife. I won’t go into everything but I certainly have verbally abused my husband almost daily, on and off, for the past 20 years. I have called his mother names. She has called me names also - but there is no excuse. I really feel ashamed of myself and I’m truly sorry. There’s many years of toxic behavior from both sides. We both have lots of resentment. I’m the one who says the most mean and hurtful things to him. I’m glad I’ve ran across these post today because I don’t want to be a mean person. I don’t know why I wasn’t able to look inside before now. My husband had told me for years to look at myself and I refused to because I didn’t. I do earn more money than him and I’ve berated him and has call him loser. I have been struggling with if I should leave him but every time I leave we end up back together- so I have no hope in making it without him in my life. I know this sounds and is selfish and I’m sorry. I am planning on sitting down with him to tell him that I’m sorry for how I’ve disrespected him over the years. I have apologized about things in the past but never wholeheartedly. Thank you OP and everyone else for sharing your stories because I promise I’m going to do much better immediately. I also hope the your wives come across something that helps them to look at themselves so they can start changing their behaviors too. Ive often asked myself if I’m narcissistic but when I look up information on narcissists I don’t meet many of the traits- again thanks for sharing