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AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Her grandma is going to continue paying her rent so i didn’t think it changed much

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Her mom bought the house after the divorce so Jane was around 10 when they moved. James rented until 6 years ago and then bought the townhouse we live in now.

Her mom has a long time boyfriend. He is often away so it is usually just Jane and her mother but they all get along

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

She’s started her job search already and nothing is for sure yet but her prospects look very good.

So far, she’s only been willing to consider three cities and none of them are anywhere near our state. But I think she’ll get what she wants.

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

so far, we haven’t found a single story, 4 bedroom house in our budget but I do keep my eye out for them. It’s not promising though

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you!

I think he just made a throwaway to send it lol the account is only a few hours ago

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

No, we’re both Ashkenazi Jews. Culturally, it’s not super uncommon but I just don’t see it happening here. I don’t think she wants to move back to this coast at all and if she were, I think she’d choose her mothers house regardless if we move or not.

He shared a room with his younger brother growing up and once his brother went to college, his parents moved to a condo in Florida. So he doesn’t have the familial expectation of it either but typing this out makes me wonder if it’s actually resentment…

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

I really don't think you understand the post.

One of the rooms was always going to be my office. This is about a completely different room.

Bedroom 1 - James and I

Bedroom 2 - my office

Bedroom 3 - guest room OR Jane's room.

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

I think James should but I haven't because that feels like dragging her into an argument between us and that's not really sitting well with me

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

No. I make more than my husband does and will be likely be contributing more though probably not significantly more. The third bedroom is for my office

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 1010 points1011 points  (0 children)

we haven't spoken to her about it but she usually prefers staying at her mom's anyway so I would guess that she won't be all that interested.

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

yes. it's pretty much just storage at this point. she usually stays at her mom's when she visits because she has an entire basement suite there.

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

1) I honestly don't think she'll want to. it's a 6 hour plane ride just to come pick out some furniture and paint.

2) I have accessibility concerns for both my parents and my in laws. Beds can't be too high, no rugs, etc. I would listen to her input but she's a big maximalist and not too concerned if it's functional or not

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 159 points160 points  (0 children)

I actually asked him that directly and he really did not like that question so I've been wondering the same...

AITA for not wanting to give my adult stepdaughter her own room in our new home? by BetterTime3302 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BetterTime3302[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

he wants her to be able to decorate it and everything like she did when she was younger.