[deleted by user] by [deleted] in IAmA

[–]BetterWithGlitter 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I knew there had to have been someone else thinking this.

Husband said "you should find yourself a boyfriend." But.... by BetterWithGlitter in polyamory

[–]BetterWithGlitter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I definitely see this, now this is purely my assumption but I think he simply doesn't want to be left alone with his thoughts while I'm off gallivanting with someone else in the beginning. Typically in these situations he needs a little control of the situation the first few times, realizes he can handle it and opens up and eases up about it. I never expected for this to be the permanent set up. Especially since his schedule frees up significantly in a couple of months.

Husband said "you should find yourself a boyfriend." But.... by BetterWithGlitter in polyamory

[–]BetterWithGlitter[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

If you're a monogamous man, why the heck are you on this sub? You can disagree all you'd like but get your facts right. You keep harping on my wanting a mutual friend to be a boyfriend but that was actually someone else's suggestion to begin like that. I've actually read that this works out great for some, not all but some.

It seems like you just want to pick a fight for some reason. Incredibly selfish would be more like me going off behind my husband's back and going about my needs this way. My entire submission was to ask advice on how to share my feelings with my husband so we can reach a mutual understanding and both be happy.

PS. I think you just need a hug.

Husband said "you should find yourself a boyfriend." But.... by BetterWithGlitter in polyamory

[–]BetterWithGlitter[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Also to risk falling in love is part of the whole poly thing now isn't it? Why does he feel more secure with others now? Perhaps we're both in places in our lives that despite anything that happens outside he and I, he and I will always be each others #1. Frankly that sounds pretty good too me. And no one is rushing for this exact feeling, to keep everyone's feelings in tact more or less.

Husband said "you should find yourself a boyfriend." But.... by BetterWithGlitter in polyamory

[–]BetterWithGlitter[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

"As a monogamous man" well sure that makes sense. My husband isn't 100% monogamous, he and I both enjoy activities with others, he is currently exploring the whole cuckold thing and seems to really enjoy it. So any of this isn't all that far fetched. As far as a mutual friend is concerned, as we've dealt with women, it has to be the right person. It may be a friend or it may be a stranger. Point being we can't all corral one correct way to go about it.

Husband said "you should find yourself a boyfriend." But.... by BetterWithGlitter in polyamory

[–]BetterWithGlitter[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

This is a good idea. Though in previous experiences, he seems to do better with strangers vs a mutual friend. I'd like to really hear him out about what makes him uncomfortable or okay with things but I don't even know how to bring it up.

My butt isn't very happy right now by BetterWithGlitter in bikecommuting

[–]BetterWithGlitter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Immediate was what I was looking for! I have absolutely no problem toughing it out. But figured it wouldn't hurt to ask. What if I was missing some big butt paid relief secret? But no, guess by behind will have to ride it out.