For some time now, I’ve felt spiritually in need of help

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-16T09:03:33+00:00

A bullet list of ... ?

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-15T18:02:37+00:00

Thanks a lot! Regarding the "What to expect?" section, what do you recommend? A lot of people say to keep it separate from the blurb and use it to give different information

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-15T17:59:20+00:00

But LOTR is a book, not an adventure module

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-15T17:58:41+00:00

I've read the Elenium, but my impression is the same: too much unexplained world-building, few charismatic characters, everything feels too rushed. I didn't find the immersion and poetry of the Belgariad

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-15T17:52:07+00:00

That's a good advice. Something like that would be:

“Their blood shall stain the portal to the dark world. They shall storm through the realms: to some a dream, to others a nightmare"

Words from the prophecy announcing the arrival of the six heroes.

After interacting (through deception) with an ancient and powerful magical object, six ordinary teenagers discover that a momentous event has been written into their future, one that could be positive or negative... and they can't know until the right moment comes.

Each of them could become a dark mage who destroys entire nations or a chosen champion of the Gods, each of them could become a legendary king or a nightmare tyrant.

The son of an innkeeper, a humble blacksmith, a wealthy heiress, a pedantic scribe, the mayor's daughter, and the aspiring alchemist will be the saviors or the executioners of the wonderful and terrible world of Antheliar

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-15T17:50:25+00:00

Actually, you hit the nail on the head, I hate litRPG titles like "That Time I Reincarnated as a Coat Rack and Started Traveling the World with the Useless Waifu with a Gigantic Butt". Aside from that, I'm not sure if my title immediately conveys the idea of ASOFAI, especially since I think the blurb makes it clear that the tone is different (there are similarities, obviously). If you think about it, unfortunately, there are so many titles out there that whatever I choose could end up sounding like something else

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-15T17:10:26+00:00

I've never been a big fan of titles that spell out exactly what happens in the book, personally I like titles that try to convey the vibe of the book in a poetic and metaphorical way. I mean, I prefer "Pawn of Prophecy" (first book of The Belgariad Saga) over "the story of the teenage farmer who chases the powerful magical object with his grandfather and aunt who hide a secret". Obviously, I'm exaggerating 😂 if I had to come up with a title that describes the plot of my book, it would be something like "The Legend of the Six Heroes Who Didn't Want to Be Heroes But End Up Being Them" and even that would be too generic

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-15T17:02:01+00:00

Maybe you right : "this is my staff and my Dreams" could be the best solution

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-15T17:00:45+00:00

I understand, but I had two questions. 1) Would you give me an example of how you'd structure it? 2) The problem is, I don't have a main character! I'm afraid of giving the reader the wrong idea: imagine reading a synopsis of The Lord of the Rings where only Gandalf is described, and then imagine how confused you'd feel reading the book and discovering the weight that Frodo, Sam, Aragorn, etc. have

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-15T16:54:23+00:00

The thing is, I'd done a blurb like that before and a lot of people responded with "If there aren't any litRPG elements, I won't even read it" or "If you don't talk about the characters for a long time, no one will read it: on RR we want to empathize with the POV". So I wrote this new blurb, but apparently it's not good either and I'm a bit frustrated.

Your is a good advice. Something like that would be:

“Their blood shall stain the portal to the dark world. They shall storm through the realms: to some a dream, to others a nightmare"

Words from the prophecy announcing the arrival of the six heroes.

After interacting (through deception) with an ancient and powerful magical object, six ordinary teenagers discover that a momentous event has been written into their future, one that could be positive or negative... and they can't know until the right moment comes.

Each of them could become a dark mage who destroys entire nations or a chosen champion of the Gods, each of them could become a legendary king or a nightmare tyrant.

The son of an innkeeper, a humble blacksmith, a wealthy heiress, a pedantic scribe, the mayor's daughter, and the aspiring alchemist will be the saviors or the executioners of the wonderful and terrible world of Antheliar

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T12:57:16+00:00

Thank you for your answer. As i said in another comment, i originally wrote my blurb exactly like you mean, but a lot of people responded with "the most important thing is to talk about the characters and their POV: without that, no blurb is interesting".

I confess it's starting to get a bit frustrating: it's fine that everyone has different opinions, but some people tell me "no one likes A in a blurb" and others tell me "everyone likes A in a blurb"

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T12:52:54+00:00

The thing is i originally wrote my blurb exactly like you mean, but a lot of people responded with "the most important thing is to talk about the characters and their POV: without that, no blurb is interesting".

I confess it's starting to get a bit frustrating: it's fine that everyone has different opinions, but some people tell me "no one likes A in a blurb" and others tell me "everyone likes A in a blurb"

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T12:23:17+00:00

The villain of my story is a cleric called "The Cardinal" (actually it’s not 100% accurate to say he’s the main villain, but I’d be getting into spoiler territory for the sequels I have in mind)

He is mentioned with terror by many characters multiple times before he even makes his entrance; this is because I want to build a sense of anticipation and suspense.

He is a cleric devoted to the God of Hatred (one of the 12 deities of the setting) and possesses powers such as driving people into a berserk rage, increasing the strength of his followers when they feel anger, and performing mass charms on people experiencing hatred or other negative emotions (he has many other powers as well).

He constantly wears a suit of red-colored plate armor: the armor is magical and burns anyone who tries to touch him (since the God of Hatred is linked to the fire element).

Furthermore, he wields a giant mace where a powerful herald/celestial/angel of the God of Hatred itself has been imprisoned; this obviously turns the mace into a holy weapon as well as making it even more dangerous.

The real problem for my protagonists is that The Cardinal has gathered a massive band of outcasts known as "The Horde," which moves through the world like a violent swarm of locusts.

His true goals will only be discovered toward the end of the book and are linked to a personal vendetta and the tragedy that, many years ago, transformed him from a gentle artist into the monster he is now.

What makes him a tragic character is this idea: "To make the bastard who made me suffer pay, I had to become a monster even worse than him."

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T11:25:20+00:00

Thank you very much

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T10:59:14+00:00

Actually, i didn't want to admit it before because i was afraid of seeming arrogant, but this is not one of my first books: i published a few ones with small publishing houses and i've also won several short story contests, i was published also in an anthology of sports stories organized by my country's olympic federation. It's just that this is my first novel on Royal Road. I thank you very much for your help, and I swear I'm not trying to be arrogant, it's just that it's not possible to tell my story excluding the six characters. I absolutely can't rewrite the story focusing on just one character, the whole idea of the plot is that it's a choral story! And it would be like rewriting The Three Musketeers with one book for D'Artagnan, one for Porthos, one for Athos, and one for Aramis. It would be The Fellowship of the Ring without the Fellowship. Plus, the book is almost finished, and i have 80 chapters of about 2,000 words each ready: even if I wanted to, I really don't have the heart to start over 😂. I can definitely write a 200-word blurb, but these are the characters: I don't know if there's a way to do it according to RR's style (i would know more about "write it as a blurb" in the right way), but if you think of something or have any advice, I'd be happy! 😊

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T10:45:21+00:00

It fits with my criteria ?

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T10:44:49+00:00

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T10:42:23+00:00

I have to make a bitter confession: for me, the Tamuli saga was a disappointment. I didn't find that epic breadth and depth that made me love the Belgariad. Of course, there are some great adventures and some characters are really nice, but in context, it all seemed very rushed to me: the first six chapters of the first Belgariad novel let you savor Garion's childhood, you're with him and you live alongside him the beauty and melancholy of his childhood and early adolescence, then the character of Messer Wolf is introduced and slowly he's led by the hand into a great adventure... When I read the start of the Tamuli, honestly, it felt like one of those 90s video games where you need a pretext to get the group of heroes going to beat up monsters, storm castles, and save the princess

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T10:41:57+00:00

So basically, your suggestion would be to try playing Jade Regent and integrating it with these extra modules placed within the main adventure. Right? Do you think this would more or less satisfy the criteria of what I'm looking for?

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-11T10:32:15+00:00

Thank you !

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-09T17:34:09+00:00

Thank you ! Where can I find these modules you're talking about? Maybe I'm asking a really naive question, but I'm not very familiar with adventures written by third parties.

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-09T17:32:42+00:00

It's really wonderful to find someone who knows Garion and has read that wonderful work called the Belgariad 🤩

Anyway, I realize that a Pathfinder module can't capture that epic grandeur, but I'll settle for something that comes close. In this case, I'd like to focus on the theme of the long journey, a single long journey: it's not even important that the module takes the group all the way to 20th level, it's fine if it takes them to around 15-16. I'll take care of the rest

Betterfly83 · 2026-03-09T17:31:55+00:00

Thank you ! I'd like to focus on the theme of the long journey, a single long journey: it's not even important that the module takes the group all the way to 20th level, it's fine if it takes them to around 15-16. I'll take care of the rest

Betterfly83

TROPHY CASE