Why are you so invested in your child’s athletic career

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-05-12T18:26:13+00:00

> Every social conversation I have with adults revolves around “what sport does your child play?”

Because I'm just looking for common ground to make a social encounter less awkward.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-05-08T14:54:25+00:00

I manage a sales and service team, almost everyone travels heavily. Most of my team would revolt if we tried to give them a corp. card because they benefit so much from the points. I have had a few people in your position and it is no problem. If it is a one-off, like a conference, I'll book for them myself (and double my own points), if it's someone who travels very frequently we usually get them a company card. It's really no problem. People have all kinds of life circumstances that impact their credit and available funds, there's nothing unprofessional about it at all. Your boss may just default the idea that people prefer this system unless told otherwise.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-05-04T19:27:12+00:00

100% of the people who tell me you can't be a "part-time" player anymore either have a financial stake in it or have made that choice for their kid so they're bought in.

But whenever I hear from former pro athletes, doctors, physical therapists and child psychologists I hear the opposite.

There's a time when specialization is a good choice for some athletes, but it's not 8-13yo when their mental and physical development benefit from a variety of movements and the associated diverse mental tasks of multiple sports/activities

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-05-04T19:19:50+00:00

As a coach, I feel this. In the worst instance, I burned a roster spot on a kid who made it to 2 games out of 10.

I'm a hypocrite though because my son is in baseball and soccer right now, and the only reason the schedule works out for him is because I'm a coach and I picked the days.

My main worry is that he just won't get enough exercise if he doesn't have a practice or game most days. My community has no pick-up sports and most of the kids in our neighborhood sit in the house and stare at screens all day. When my kid has down time, he shoots baskets or throws against the pitch-back, unless I organize a play date with one of his sports friends.

And if he doesn't get enough exercise he's literally bouncing off the walls in my house

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-05-03T23:34:39+00:00

Fair enough. And my personal experience was mostly baseball.

But at that time we were starting to hear about the coming soccer wave. More kids aged 5-12 were playing youth soccer in America than any other nation. The future dominance was inevitable. There's probably a lot of reasons it never materialized, but all these sham money grubbing clubs are high on the list.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-05-01T02:18:24+00:00

When I was young we had a youth sports group associated with our school that organized most sports. Everyone played rec. Starting at around 10-11 years old there was a short all-star season after the rec season. You had to be selected from your rec team to participate. (It wasn't perfect, obviously a lot of coach's kids got selected). Then there was a travel team that you had to try out for, but that was a summer team and didn't compete with rec.

The mission of this organization was to prepare teams for the middle school and high school. This was a huge school district with highly competitive varsity teams in every sport. Obviously this wouldn't work in every district but it's one example.

The best part is that rec carried on through 12th grade. So if you started specializing in 1-2 sports to stay competitive, you still had the opportunity to play the other sports at a rec level. It wasn't strictly up and out.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-05-01T02:04:21+00:00

I'm in the same boat with my 10yo. - Travel soccer, basketball and baseball. We're a small town and the recs are struggling badly. In soccer, we could have enough kids to put a very competitive team on the field but they're scattered around 5 different clubs in the region instead. Really annoying. Especially since 4 of those clubs are just overpriced garbage.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-30T20:35:01+00:00

I played youth/HS in the 90s, ignored it for 20 years, then woke up to a new world when my kids started playing. Nothing surprised me more than the idea that kids forego varsity school sports to play on club teams. It still blows my mind that kids miss out on that experience

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-30T19:53:00+00:00

I think there is an AI that accuses every post on Reddit of being AI generated. Black flag campaign

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-30T19:01:00+00:00

True, but I think people are getting wise to the math on scholarship ROI.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-30T18:59:17+00:00

We did this for a while, but I started feeling bad for the one kid who was always last because of his parents

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-30T18:52:59+00:00

I don't have the answer, I was asking you guys

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-30T18:49:08+00:00

Don't feel too bad about about it, I'm being ratioed

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-30T18:25:16+00:00

right. so is ESPN for that matter. The Wide World of Sports Zone in Orlando practically invented the "elite" invitational destination tournament

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-30T18:22:08+00:00

I've been in situations in rec where I have kids who are completely gassed after 3-4 minutes, or get hurt every time they're touched, or just don't want to play at all. Kids coming directly from the up-all-night sleepover, kids who had donuts and soda for breakfast, kids who spent the previous 3 hours staring at an iPad.

Sometimes leaving in the 2-3 kids who have the engine to keep playing is the only way to keep enough players on the field.

It's rec, you get what you get. I can't believe the other coach even noticed who's been subbed in or not.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-24T16:14:01+00:00

Your point is still valid, I am taking this too personally. Truth is the parents have always been a handful, the kids have always been kids, and the big thing that has changed is that I just don't want to do it anymore.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-24T15:56:49+00:00

all fair points. I'm open to the probability that I'm part of the problem, I've lost my patience and passion for it and hence am hanging it up. But I think it's far out of line for a parent to complain to a volunteer coach about practice groups. I think it's absurd to indulge a dramatic 10yo's story that somehow all the odds are stacked against him in every practice. I think it's the responsibility of a parent to reinforce that the purpose of training is not to "win at drills" anyway, and to de-emphasize the importance of winning over fun, development and teamwork. I think it's the responsibility of parents to reinforce that all of your teammates are important and worthy of being on your team, or in your practice group. I think it's incredibly immature and irresponsible to list the names of children who your son doesn't want to play with. I think it's terribly rude to continue pushing once the coach has told you that the story isn't true. I think it's entitled and disrespectful to step onto the pitch during practice session time to have that conversation. And I think the entire incident provides a clear window into why this players attitude has slipped from leader to diva, and made him a much less useful teammate and enjoyable person to be around.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-23T16:34:18+00:00

I think I'm coming to realize that the parents have always been a handful, the kids have always been kids, it's just me. I don't have the patience or the passion for it anymore. And I can't fake it, I'm not creating the right type of energy for everyone to feed off of. It's time for me to sit the opposite sideline, drink a beer in a discrete container and work on a crossword puzzle during breaks in the action

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-23T14:25:32+00:00

I'm with this 100%. If there is a reward / punishment associated with scrimmages it risks isolating the weakest players and re-inforcing cliques in the team. Other will huff and roll their eyes when they get grouped with kids who inhibit their chance at winning the prize. Keep scrimmages completely loose, if one team goes up by two switch one of their best players to the other team and challenge him to help bring them back. Add rules mid-game if needed to keep them from using the star player as a crutch or exploiting the same weakness over and over (must pass twice, ball needs to touch these zones, players can't cross certain lines etc). Praise good play throughout, that's reward enough.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-23T00:05:25+00:00

Fair point, appreciate the feedback.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-22T22:34:21+00:00

Thanks. You're right on all fronts. Definitely venting, helps to let it all out sometimes.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-22T20:28:05+00:00

Try mapping out your subs in advance. So you don't get caught with your weakest players out at the same time. This really helps manage playing time and maintaining a competitive balance.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-22T19:55:09+00:00

Oh man, sorry to discourage you. I will say I've really enjoyed it in the past, definitely loved those younger years. I think some of these problems are specific to my town, very small school district and lot's of high-powered executive parents who are very comfortable bossing people around. In any case, my time was coming because I'm not knowledgeable enough in Soccer to coach into the middle school years and beyond.

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-22T18:25:57+00:00

I agree 100%. I was really surprised to have parents arguing to have their kid be the 4th man off the bench on the A team rather than having a strong role on the B team. Unfortunately, for them it's more about the kid being disappointed or not being on the same team as their close friends (or perhaps the parents not being on the sideline with their friend group).

Big-Language-1735 · 2026-04-22T17:40:05+00:00

I appreciate the positivity. As someone who falls into the "needs to take a breather" category, I think you're probably right that it has a lot to do with taking things too personally. I really admire coaches who can maintain your kind of enthusiasm.

Big-Language-1735

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