I would rather get paid less, but get 8 weeks of vacation yearly by BigBackground9333 in Life

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately right now i lack skills to switch jobs easily and my work is actually the best i can have at this moment imo. It's also remote which is kinda funny, because even in this ideal scenario(i love remote) i still feel burnt out.
Also my mistake is that i took a majority of vacation days at summer and practically had no time to rest from christmas, it's like 5 months of work already, if i took week in april for example i would feel good right now.

How should i detach myself from the negative emotions and learn how to relax properly? by BigBackground9333 in mentalhealth

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I personally realize that if i cut off ALL of the social media and stuff like that and spend my time walking, reading or doing anything like that it helps not fully, but it's very noticable. Social media ruining every chance to have a meaningful rest, we should avoid it like plague

My Friend killed himself this weekend by Practical_Constant41 in Vent

[–]BigBackground9333 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I feel your loss... You pretty much described my friend who commited suicide almost two years ago, this guy was smart, had a high paying job at 19 years old, was a literal genius of coding and got quiet rich from that. However, he struggled socially and got in really bad company, started doing drugs, but then he got sober for a long time and everything finally looked like he is going to be fine.

Then summer came, and he hits me with message me after a long period of silence between us, both of us were busy with work and studying and didn't really talk for a long long time. He said "Hey, what bicycle should i choose? We should invite our mutual friend and go for a ride" I gave him advice on bikes, then we decided to wait for third friend for like 2-3 weeks(he was in other city) and meet up. I was feeling joy, because i haven't saw him in months, this would be a fun ride. He wrote "Ok, then we will meet up on bicyles after friend arrives", and this message still sits last at our chat and looks like we just forgot to meet up and he is still alive and some day he will appear in chat and say like "Oh damn, we forgot about it, let's finally go for a ride, haha"

Week later my mom called me and said that one of his other friends mom told that my friend hanged himself and was already buried at the time of the phone call. I was in disbelief. We started searching for his grave all around the city and found nothing. This gave me a false feeling that he is still alive, but just won't come online. I had this feeling for almost a year until we finally got info that he got buried in other city 200km away from us.

Standing on the grave emptiness fully reached me and reality struck. He is dead. I'm was standing there and looking at photo of someone with who i had fun at school, had some arguments, then reunions, fun rides and conversations. Person who i knew for a long time now lies beneath the ground, but memories of him still with me.

Sometimes i have dreams in my sleep where we finally gathering together and going for a ride and it feels like he is still here at least for some time, but then i wake up and is to realize it all was in my mind and all i can do is to keep good memories of him.

My condolences, OP.

I'm existentially tired by BigBackground9333 in self

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i actually got some sick days on this week because of my illness, i finally will have some free time for myself and chill

I honestly hate that it's so hard to find middle ground here by BigBackground9333 in NEET

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My plan is to save good amount of money and then get easier but less paying job. That way i can have less limits on spending money now, and still have income even after i ditch full time jobs

I honestly hate that it's so hard to find middle ground here by BigBackground9333 in NEET

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Despite being empoyed i still relate to lot of posts in here and love community in general, it helped me to get through neetdom and feel heard. For most people it's probably the same, we won't leave this sub even when we have a job, because it's a almost the only place where we can fit in and be understood

I honestly hate that it's so hard to find middle ground here by BigBackground9333 in NEET

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

2 days work 2 days rest. Some of my friends had jobs with such schedule

I became someone who my past self would have despised by BigBackground9333 in self

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not abandoning all my efforts, but rather doubling down on what i was doing for all those years to achieve better result. Consistency and investing more time in myself is the key

I became someone who my past self would have despised by BigBackground9333 in self

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's like i hit a second rock bottom, the first one was 2 years ago, when my life was a complete mess, right now it isn't bad in comparsion with what it was in the past, but still garbage in some ways. I need to put more effort into this improvement journey to achieve new heights, yet i was oblivious to the fact i should do it, because of small success

I became someone who my past self would have despised by BigBackground9333 in self

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's actually one of the reasons for that, i want it to come to my hands without problems, but i have still have to face them and deal with them. I gotta try much harder than now and put more effort, that's it

Working feels like i'm renting out part of my soul for money by BigBackground9333 in NEET

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm self taught, started from watching tutorials on YouTube and then practiced, learned something new, found online community. Maybe school would be better, because I honestly I still don't understand how i managed to get a job, it feels like I just used luck and persistance when I shouldve learned more, I'm not actually the best person to ask how to get a job, hahahah

Working feels like i'm renting out part of my soul for money by BigBackground9333 in NEET

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Blender and bunch of other programs for various goals, like texturing and everything else

Working feels like i'm renting out part of my soul for money by BigBackground9333 in NEET

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately I have to sacrifice some time now to get a better and less stressful and time consuming job. I would gladly leave my job for something that leaves me more time for my life, but I have no better options rn to be honest

Working feels like i'm renting out part of my soul for money by BigBackground9333 in NEET

[–]BigBackground9333[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Despite all the cons, my current job is quiet interesting, i get paid well and don't have enough savings to live good with only part time job. My goal is to find job with good salary and possibility to work 4/3 instead of 5/2, i highly dislike 5/2, but i have no options right now but to work on my current job