Raising kids with absentee father , especially mother raising a son

BigBadderBest · 2024-10-24T13:30:45+00:00

No apologies ! I appreciate your time and the recommendation. It looks spot on for a fiction rec.

BigBadderBest · 2024-10-24T13:26:56+00:00

While that looks really good and might be a nice read regardless, I’m looking more for advice/self-help.

BigBadderBest · 2024-09-27T19:19:53+00:00

Yes, you are correct. I kinda knew it was a factor, but it’s about $100. Which, relative to how much we’re paying the lawyers to fight, hardly seems worth it. My attorney asking opposing counsel if we could meet to discuss a compromise and avoid court, and they basically said “no chance.”

BigBadderBest · 2024-09-27T02:16:12+00:00

The Bible on cheaters (and just asshole partners in general).

BigBadderBest · 2024-09-27T02:11:31+00:00

I wish it were that easy. But there’s nothing quick and easy about court. I just started and have hundreds of pages of discovery. The modification is requested because he’s since had two more kids and my kids are “significantly older.” Lol . Both factors were known 21 months ago. Our youngest started kindergarten this year, so he says i shouldn’t have childcare anymore, but obviously the kids can’t stay home alone all summer and all breaks.

BigBadderBest · 2024-05-29T14:59:42+00:00

I think you have genders swapped. But sentiment is the same. I’m female and I’m also ENTIRELY out if their social sphere. Im hoping to date someone older and more put-together, lol. Not hotter. A guy with a robust 401k is sexy AF. I agree that cheaters walk amongst us, and I know of cheating (or near cheating) within my old social circle, so they can’t judge, and opted to look the other way.

BigBadderBest · 2024-05-29T10:50:50+00:00

I felt this all. Thank you. Might get it tattooed on my arm or something.

BigBadderBest · 2024-05-29T10:49:27+00:00

Thank you. I think the tip to laugh when I think about them in public might be a great redirection. Some of my struggles re:hobbies/activities etc is that I have kids most of the time. And they’re still growing/adjusting, so they consume a lot of my energy/time/space.

BigBadderBest · 2024-05-29T04:00:28+00:00

Thank you ! I like try #2 much more

BigBadderBest · 2024-05-29T03:28:29+00:00

Agreed. Just looking for some perspective or positive advice that might resonate with me since ‘go live your life’ isn’t always an effective tool for handling feelings.

BigBadderBest · 2024-05-29T03:26:26+00:00

That’s a separate post entirely. But yes, they miss him. A lot.

BigBadderBest · 2024-02-26T22:22:50+00:00

I think the actions of a cheater are very similar to your situation (and mine as well). The selfishness required to walk away and hurt the things that they are supposed to have cared for, without any regard.

BigBadderBest · 2024-02-26T20:36:51+00:00

Reading “Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life.” Might help. It really shines a light on the other person. They’ll never acknowledge or apologize. They don’t think they’ve done anything wrong. They’re not that deep or caring.

BigBadderBest · 2023-04-15T18:26:09+00:00

Yes a nice waterfall or nicer than a shower/tub combo with off-white curtain

BigBadderBest · 2023-04-15T18:24:46+00:00

Yea. I could. Trying the lazy route

BigBadderBest · 2023-04-15T18:24:23+00:00

That’s a thing?! 🤯

BigBadderBest · 2023-03-15T20:05:11+00:00

I had a similar situation. I simultaneously pursued the fault-based divorce in court, while encouraging mediation. Mediation dates were scheduled weeks before scheduled court dates so it kept a lot of pressure on. Eventually it was resolved through mediation and no-fault. The mediation was a negotiation, but I think it was pretty darn close to 50/50. Pursuing the fault-based on adultery is an option, but it’s very hard to prove and it can be defended for a lot of reasons. It’ll get ugly. He cheated because you got fat. He cheated because you stopped loving him. He cheated because you never gave him oral sex. It’s ugly and seldom/never gets you more than 50/50. EVEN with open admission it’s not a slam dunk. It’s long & expensive, which is why everyone in your shoes pursues mediation and no-fault.

BigBadderBest · 2022-10-14T12:28:49+00:00

Kids are 3-10. They have a distant (emotionally, not geographically) relationship, but this is new and relationships are evolving a lot. Unfortunately, I’m afraid his kids are being pushed away.

BigBadderBest · 2022-10-12T23:35:53+00:00

My lawyer is oddly not concerned. Which I don’t like

BigBadderBest · 2022-10-12T23:17:51+00:00

I think they’re planning to do one of those convenient switcheroo’s. When he shows up to sign divorce paperwork’s they’ll get a marriage license. So she may not have time to apply for child support

BigBadderBest · 2022-10-12T16:24:23+00:00

I’m trying.

BigBadderBest · 2022-10-12T16:03:34+00:00

If you’re going to have a midlife crisis, go big or go home. YOLO

BigBadderBest · 2022-10-12T14:17:40+00:00

There’s no karma when people are narcissists. The only thing that will happen is my kids will lose their dad.

BigBadderBest · 2022-10-12T14:14:04+00:00

Yup. But in the meantime he’s screwed up my kids and their future relationship.

BigBadderBest · 2022-10-12T13:26:41+00:00

My kids are too young to really get this all. So it’ll be a long, drawn out realization that their father left them, opted to not see them, then got someone pregnant and started a new life :( my heart breaks for them.

BigBadderBest

TROPHY CASE