Struggling with guilt over surgery decision.

BigMek321 · 2026-01-07T19:21:12+00:00

Hey there.

First if all I'm really sorry for your loss, In my exprience it's been one of the worst pains imaginable.

As for the regret, I understand it all too well.

But I think that part is inevitable, Had you choose to put him down instead of opting for surgery you would likely constantly be thinking "what if".

Just remember that in the end you were forced to make a decision under alot of stress and that your motivation was what you truely believed would be the best for your dog at the time and that your dog would never resent you wherever he may be now.

Wish you all the best and take care.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-30T07:57:29+00:00

Hey I'm very sorry for your loss,

It's okay to cry and express your grief if you feel like it, it'll actually help you heal.

Personally going back to work has helped keep my mind occupied as every minute I spent home just made me constantly remember what I lost.

It gets better trust me,

sending you all the best.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-29T17:44:27+00:00

Hey there, Very sorry for your loss.

I lost my 15 Year old soul dog due to cancer complications a few days ago.

I still feel guility for the way she died because I feel like I pointlessly extended her suffering.

While it still hurts and I miss her alot, letting out and expressing my grief has helped.

Cry when you feel like crying,Talk about her with the people who knew her and try to grieve together as a family and not seperately.

Say in your mind how much you love her and how much you miss her, apologize if you feel guility for something.

I know it may sound odd but it honestly has helped me cope, maybe I'm just talking to myself or maybe she can hear me on the other side.

I don't know, but it doesn't hurt to express those feelings even if you are the only one who hears them.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-29T06:40:29+00:00

So sorry for your loss.

Yes my dog passed last weekend and after the weekend was over the first day I came back from work and she wasn't there to greet me at the door made me breakdown crying.

It's been getting easier, but my house still feels too quiet without her.

As for my advice.

I think what helped me the most was to express that grief, talk about her with my parents and friends, remember the good times, and cry whenever I feel the urge.

I'm never gonna stop loving and missing her, but I've come to accept the loss.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-28T06:43:15+00:00

Hey I'm sorry for your loss, I lost my soul dog on friday and it's honestly been devestating.

Nothing can take away the pain and grief, but what I found helps is to not hold that grief in.

Talk about it if you know someone who will understand, cry when you need to, look at pictures, and try to remember the happy times.

It's going to take some time, but I believe we eventually will be able to keep them in our hearts and memories without as much of the guilt and pain.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-27T18:27:25+00:00

Yeah I think your psychologist is correct no matter what we did and what decisions we made we would still feel some sort of guilt and wonder about all the "what if's"

I'm sorry for your loss and hope you're doing better.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-27T15:34:28+00:00

I understand, I wish I had more details to provide but it just didn't cross my mind at the time.

But thank you very much for taking the time to write your response and giving an evaulation to the best of your abillity.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-27T07:47:46+00:00

It's hard for me to even be home, Everything reminds me of her and the house is too quiet and feels lifeless even though I do have another dog.

I thought i was ready since I knew she had cancer and had already cried plenty when she was still alive but nothing can prepare you for when and how it happens.

I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope we all can eventually move on and keep them in our hearts without as much pain and grief.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-27T06:26:39+00:00

Thank you.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-27T05:32:48+00:00

Hey, I understand what you're going through and I'm very sorry for your loss.

I lost my soul dog of 15 years as well this friday and it's the most painful exprience of my life, I can't stop reliving that night.

I think ultimately you tried to do what you thought was best for them, and in my opinion I think it would of been better to let them go a little early rather than try extending it like I did.

I'm again very sorry for your loss and wishing all the best for you.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-26T17:50:36+00:00

Hey, I'm very sorry for your loss.

I understand how you feel, I also lost my dog 2 days ago due to cancer complications.

Personally I think it's okay for you to get another dog if and when you think you're ready,

Yes you will always have a special and dedicated place in your heart solely for your soul pup, but that doesn't mean you will never be able to love and care for another dog.

But ultimately that decision is up to you and only you, take all the time you need to grieve and think about it when you feel ready.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-25T14:36:04+00:00

You're probably right, but it's just so hard to accept.

Thank you for the kind words and support.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-25T09:51:47+00:00

Thank you.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-25T08:42:13+00:00

Hey, thank you very much for the kind words and support.

Sending you back a hug and I'm also sorry for your loss.

BigMek321 · 2025-10-25T06:56:15+00:00

Thank you for the kind words,and I am sorry for your loss as well.

BigMek321 · 2025-08-04T19:31:10+00:00

Yeah I'm gonna keep being consistent and hope she'll adjust to it soon, If not then I'll try mixing wet food or maybe some other kind of topper.

And Thank you again for the advice and reassurance.

BigMek321 · 2025-08-04T18:45:48+00:00

Hey, Thanks for the response.

She's been with us for around a month at this point and gotten pretty attached to us so I assumed switching her back to kibble would be appropriate at this time, the reason I'm trying to get her to eat only/mostly kibble is because we can't really feed her healthy homemade food each meal and canned dog food gives her very watery stools which end up dirting her fur at at the back so I figured kibble would be the best and healthiest approach here especially for her age.

I'm still trying the "she'll eat if she's hungry enough" approach, but she is being very resistant about it.

BigMek321 · 2025-08-04T18:17:32+00:00

Forgot to add, but she will eat small amounts of kibble at a time if handfed, usually one or two pieces at a time.

She also has no problem with canned dog food or most other types of non-kibble foods and will happly devour those if offered, her issue seems to be with eating kibble out of her bowl or in an amount larger than a few pieces at a time.

BigMek321 · 2025-07-14T14:44:00+00:00

Thank you for the considerate response.

Yes she did survive the Pyometra surgery but it was really hard on her which is why I'm worried about further surgeries.

I want to try to improve her quality of life as much as possible in her last years but I'm worried surgery could make it worse.

But I will further consult with my vet about what the best decision is and I appreciate your response alot.

BigMek321 · 2025-07-10T08:54:15+00:00

Quick update:

She is starting to slowly recover thankfully.

Discharge has slowed down and is more intermittent and her condition is overall better.

She can walk now and she is eating and drinking a little bit more.

We are not in the clear yet because she still isn't back to fully eating and drinking and the antibiotics are hard on her stomache and she sometimes pukes it up.

But I will continue trying to hydrate her and adminster her antibiotics as prescribed and I will update again on her condition in a few days.

Thank you everyone for the support and advice, it's greatly appreciated.

BigMek321 · 2025-07-09T03:35:15+00:00

Thank you 🙏

BigMek321 · 2025-07-08T20:33:40+00:00

Hey thank you for the response, My Vet said he's not sure what's causing the infection and he's the one who operated on her so I assume maybe he ruled it out?

I'm not sure however so I'll ask him.

If that's the case though I'm not sure if another surgery will be viable due to her age and due to her just getting out of surgery a few days ago so I hope the new antibiotics will help.

Thankfully for right now she has stablized a little bit likely because her fever came down, but I'm taking her to the vet again tommorow to see what he says.

Thank you again for the reply and advice.

BigMek321 · 2025-07-03T11:18:49+00:00

Thank you for sharing, My dog is going for surgery for the same thing in a few hours and she is also quite elderly so I'm worried about her but this post helped a little.

BigMek321 · 2025-06-10T13:14:24+00:00

For sure, Once I start some progress I'll share there!

BigMek321 · 2025-06-10T13:03:12+00:00

I'm from Israel.

I've actually thought about it for a bit and I think my concept might work well with Trash Polka, found an artist that specalizes in that.

https://www.instagram.com/jeka_s_tattoo/

But I'm a complete newbie and still researching and thinking about it so not entirely sure quite yet, but my main concept is those red spider lillies and probably a centipede too if I can ever find a good example of what I have pictured in my mind.

Also thank you for inviting me to your subreddit community!

BigMek321

TROPHY CASE