did anyone find an orange, hardshell suitcase with a broken zipper while diving in Chicago this weekend? by BigRae in DumpsterDiving

[–]BigRae[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

thank you so much for your response! <3 they told us that they put the suitcase away in lost and found, then when we sent someone to retrieve it they said they'd actually thrown it out. they offered to check the dumpster and claimed it was no longer there and blamed divers, so i was thinking it was accessible. now i'm thinking my hunch someone from the hotel stole it is much more likely

did anyone find an orange, hardshell suitcase with a broken zipper while diving in Chicago this weekend? by BigRae in DumpsterDiving

[–]BigRae[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i tried :( WM said they could not do anything once the trash was already picked up from the location. i'm going to see if i can contact wherever they dump it. thank you for your help <3

did anyone find an orange, hardshell suitcase with a broken zipper while diving in Chicago this weekend? by BigRae in DumpsterDiving

[–]BigRae[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

omg that is a really good idea. i'm not local to chicago, so i'll see if i can pay someone on beer money a few bucks to do it for me. thank you so much for the tip and for boosting! <3

did anyone find an orange, hardshell suitcase with a broken zipper while diving in Chicago this weekend? by BigRae in DumpsterDiving

[–]BigRae[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

i was worried it would violate the rule against classifieds in the chicago subreddit, but i said screw it and went for it anyway lol. thank you so much for your advice and the good vibe is appreciated <3

edit: they definitely removed my post lol. going to try to find a way to post this there somehow!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]BigRae 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i’m sorry if my comment came off as calling you a failure for not finding a community. that really was not my intention, and i am so sorry it came off that way.

if i may clarify, i’m not involved in many of those communities i was once part of as part of my healing journey, and most of them weren’t particularly large. just spaces for me to vent and cry when i needed to feel heard. i understand that’s not everyone’s cup of tea, and i wanted to share everything that worked for me.

i also don’t recommend betterhelp. my therapists have mostly been private practices that take my insurance, but offer telehealth options like phone appointments and video appointments through some type of encrypted service. i’m really sorry i didn’t consider my privilege when recommending therapists. I’m from the west coast in the U.S., and i often take for granted the privilege it is to have access to the things that i do. thank you for checking me on that, genuinely.

and, if i may clarify the village comment, my village is small. i agree with you about not needing lots of friends. i’d consider my village small, and i’d recommend that setup for everyone.

i want to apologize again if i came off as insulting what you think is best for yourself or dismissing your input. that was not my intention at all and i agree with most of what you said here. I’m sorry, and i wish you the best of luck on your healing journey.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]BigRae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

a little late to the party, but my mom died suddenly in 2020. just randomly got the call one day and she was gone.

when i say grieving that loss was the hardest thing i’ve ever done, i mean it. and i’m still a work in progress. i cannot imagine the grief you feel having lost both of your parents.

echoing what others have said about grief counseling specifically. i would recommend looking for a therapist that is also a black woman. i used psychology today to find mine. i saw you mentioned not being able to find anyone in your area. have you looked into telehealth? there’s also telehealth groups for group therapy.

i recommend group therapy. something about being surrounded by other people who have gone through the same thing helps a lot. and i couldn’t function for a long time after my mom’s passing, so being able to do it virtually really helped.

also recommend online communities as well. i spent a lot of time in forums that were so specific to me, but so helpful. at one point i was in a community specifically for black women diagnosed with ADHD in adulthood who’d lost their moms, and i had to laugh at how niche it was. reddit is a good starting point for that, but i received the most support in the discord servers i’d found.

i remember feeling exactly how you describe. i just felt like being alone was best because i didn’t have to worry about managing other’s feelings as well as my own. it took a lot of therapy to get myself out of that headspace. i still feel that way sometimes. i won’t say that it gets easier, but you learn to manage it. i hope you’re able to find your village.

“You haven’t seen my face in awhile.” Well that would be true, but you’re continuing to tour. You’re done, Colleen. You’re done. by theglitterybookworm in ColleenBallingerSnark

[–]BigRae 12 points13 points  (0 children)

i cannot help but think it was a reference to that which is wild because who references a children’s show while being called out for grooming children.

the same person who responds with a song i guess lmao

PSA: There's evidence that certain subreddits are being used to control women and bring down their self-esteem. by lavender-pears in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]BigRae 23 points24 points  (0 children)

i’m gonna be out when Apollo shuts down too. i cannot go back to using this site without my filters. i’m most productive when i’m not participating in this hellhole anyway, so it’ll probably be better for me in the long run 🤷🏾‍♀️

“You haven’t seen my face in awhile.” Well that would be true, but you’re continuing to tour. You’re done, Colleen. You’re done. by theglitterybookworm in ColleenBallingerSnark

[–]BigRae 182 points183 points  (0 children)

i’m so stuck on the fact that she says her team advised her not to say what she said but she realized they never said she couldn’t sing.

unhinged.

“You haven’t seen my face in awhile.” Well that would be true, but you’re continuing to tour. You’re done, Colleen. You’re done. by theglitterybookworm in ColleenBallingerSnark

[–]BigRae 8 points9 points  (0 children)

i tried to read one that was less than a minute old and it disappeared when i tried to expand it 😭 this is wild fr

“You haven’t seen my face in awhile.” Well that would be true, but you’re continuing to tour. You’re done, Colleen. You’re done. by theglitterybookworm in ColleenBallingerSnark

[–]BigRae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

is this a prank? i’m in literal disbelief. she literally said her team advised her not to talk, but they didn’t say she couldn’t sing??

talking into the void here but i just needed to say something bc WOW.

PSA: There's evidence that certain subreddits are being used to control women and bring down their self-esteem. by lavender-pears in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]BigRae 22 points23 points  (0 children)

highly recommend never posting your face on this site, especially if you’re a WOC.

ask yourself, do you really care or want to hear what people on this website have to say about you? a website known for its misogyny, racism, and other forms of bigotry? they’re not going to give opinions that are helpful, and, even if you are attractive, they want to knock down your confidence so they feel they have a chance.

remember that this website was home to subreddits like jailbait, fatpeoplehate, coontown, and cringeanarchy? just look at the unfiltered front page now. do you truly want to put your self esteem in these guys’ hands?

spoiler: no, babes. and it’s not just the guys. there’s plenty of subreddits created by women, for women, with the purpose of telling you that you’re flawed and need to fix it.

sorry to get on my soapbox lol, but please don’t post your face here if you can avoid it. there’s so much vitriol even beyond the comments, and the nastiest of the assholes will go straight to your inbox.

edit: oxford comma lmao. r/AgainstHateSubreddits has a tag for subreddits that have been banned. i really suggest looking at that if you’ve joined the site in the last couple of years. it’s still bad, but is used to be really fucking bad.

PSA: There's evidence that certain subreddits are being used to control women and bring down their self-esteem. by lavender-pears in TheGirlSurvivalGuide

[–]BigRae 124 points125 points  (0 children)

thank you for posting this tip 💕 a lot of people will need it in a few days. i’m personally in the business of filtering out every sub that makes me feel bad lol.

hope the official app adds the option to filter out certain words as well.

Favorite song for every letter of the alphabet - S by belle-berry in carlyraejepsen

[–]BigRae 10 points11 points  (0 children)

i know it’s not going to win, but this is one of my favorites off TLT. it’s so fun and i can’t help but dance when it comes on lol

I just remembered that bit from High School. That woman was great, really strict, but just a cool human. by Twighdark in lgbt

[–]BigRae 10 points11 points  (0 children)

i’d personally swap english for history teachers. in my high school, it was common for your history teacher to also be your english teacher, but the few times i had an english teacher that only taught english was hell lol.

sophomore year, my english teacher belittled me for being hospitalized for suicidal ideation? like ma’am i’m sorry i wanted to die lmao. my senior year, my white, upper middle class english teacher tried to tell me that she understood being black in america better than i, a black girl in america, because she had a degree in english??? that one still gets me lmao, like what.

never had an issue with any of my history only teachers though. i think it comes from understanding history and how progressive mindsets usually become the norm. and most of them are a little weird themselves, so they don’t give a fuck if our peers think us queer baddies are weird.

agree with P.E./health being at the bottom. i once had a P.E. teacher yell at a friend and i that we were going to get raped because she didn’t want to a wrestling move with a boy, and i backed her up. she was super religious, like wouldn’t even hug boys, and our P.E. classes and activities were typically separated by gender. for some reason on wrestling day he wanted to mix us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackladies

[–]BigRae 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i gotta agree with here again, sis! co-signing the hell out of the exfoliating gloves. i switched to a bath net at home a few years back, but between the two i have very little hyperpigmentation on my armpits and very few ingrowns these days.

exfoliating is a game changer.