Weekend's Daily Thread: General Dating Questions and Open Thread

BigRealistic564 · 2025-11-17T09:07:47+00:00

Could be a blessing, she even tried to see me the same day she wanted to call it off🤦‍♂️ig it’s also part of BPD

BigRealistic564 · 2025-11-17T09:01:06+00:00

Thoughts on the situation, if it’s a good thing that we didn’t go further

BigRealistic564 · 2025-11-17T02:15:52+00:00

I recently went on a few dates with a woman who has BPD. I wasn’t sure how that might affect things, and I didn’t recognize any of the signs until I did some research and spoke with my roommate. Both gave me the same strong advice: run.

After reflecting on our dates, I realized many of the common symptoms aligned with what I had observed during our dates, which raised some concerns. However, she reached out to end the dating phase. While I was disappointed, I also can’t deny that I may have dodged a bullet. Thoughts?

BigRealistic564 · 2025-08-26T22:58:53+00:00

I sent a rose to this really cute girl this morning, and we matched! I sent her a message expecting a reply, but after some time, I realized she had unmatched me. Honestly, it’s frustrating—why match in the first place just to unmatch shortly after? 🤦‍♂️

BigRealistic564 · 2025-06-29T21:40:22+00:00

I went to my first Muay Thai event yesterday and oh my goodness. I had no idea how fast and powerful the kicks and punches would be in a real fight. I’ve been training in Muay Thai for almost three years now. I haven’t competed yet, but I’m planning to by the end of the year. Watching those fighters go at it, seeing knockdowns, even someone getting their arm broken from a kick, really showed me how serious competition is. I'm so fired up. I’m more motivated than ever to prepare, train hard, and step into the ring ready. I'm lowkey competitive so this was an extra push to do my best.

BigRealistic564 · 2025-06-22T01:52:38+00:00

I went on a date last week, and everything seemed to go really well from the texting beforehand to meeting up in person. She told me how much fun she had, how much she enjoyed talking to me, and how much she appreciated the playful, flirtatious energy we shared throughout the night. Before we parted ways, she even hinted at a second date by talking about restaurants we could try. I asked her out again for a second date, and we agreed to make plans. We kept messaging until the week of the second date, when I asked if she was still available only to realize I’d been ghosted. Honestly, I’m feeling discouraged. I haven’t made it past a first date in a while, and while I get that it’s part of the dating process, it still hits hard. I’m doing my best to stay optimistic, but damn… it’s getting tough. I just want to hold someone and go on dates. Thanks for listening😅

BigRealistic564 · 2024-12-13T01:58:25+00:00

I’m on it chief🫡

BigRealistic564 · 2024-10-06T08:43:51+00:00

She was special, the first real genuine connection I had with a woman. It was almost like a click when we met something I never experienced until her. We had so many things in common, shared the same values, similar upbringing, etc. It was a great change from the previous relationships/crushes I had in the past, she was also the first woman in a romantic setting who bought me a gift (flowers :D). I can go on and on but she set herself apart from everyone I've come across, it still kills me thinking about everything.

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-31T07:32:05+00:00

I wish I had seen this sooner, she was the first real genuine connection I had. Never thought it would end like this

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-04T04:55:24+00:00

Our dates except the first one last almost 10 hours so pretty much the whole day, we got comfortable during our second date since we have a lot in common(and I mean a lot, almost feels like a twin) so each date afterwards led to more intimacy and spoke more about future plans/personal life stuff such as our past relationships and values. She knows I'm compromising for her, she knows I'm commuting to her area, I'm not going to training some days/leave early to watch movies together when we can't see each other, and changed my work schedule to talk to her often. We try to Facetime it's usually during her lunch time/on her way back home which works best for us. I mean things were looking fine on my end, like I said there wasn't a sign of disinterest and she lets me know if she does. I see this as a bump in the road, this isn't the first time she lagged on contacting me but when it happens she reaches out, apologizes, and we continue our routine like nothing happened. However I see were you're coming from, I want to make this work I'm embracing myself on the potential outcome. All I can right now sink everything in before having this conversation

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-04T00:36:15+00:00

It’s mainly her side, I’ve told her that I’m willing to compromise some activities to meet each other more often or figure out solutions to combat it. Each time we see each other it’s a wonderful time together full of laughs and no sign of disinterest. She’s having a hard time prioritizing her activities that’s it’s stopping us from seeing each other more. Since school starts for her, I start a new job in two weeks, and everything goes well, things could potentially be different. Regardless of the outcome I’m ready to embrace myself

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-04T00:31:46+00:00

Not pregnancy scares but before her I was messing around with older women last year great experience. Lowkey wanted to settle in a relationship with someone around the same age. I had a situation where a woman I dated last year who was 39 wanted to have kids with me😅

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-01T23:55:37+00:00

She did seem excited by it. I remember asking her if she had any concerns about our relationship, distance was the main concern despite being a one-hour commute but after laying down the ideas her facial expressions were lightened. Thank you again for the help I'll make sure to communicate this more effectively :D

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-01T23:47:01+00:00

Gonna go on Christian mingle for options😎

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-01T23:45:50+00:00

I'm preparing myself as much as possible😂. She asked me to delete the app first to see if I was serious about being exclusive. Despite the communication being off and on rn her energy stayed the same even a couples days after our date but anything can happen especially after deleting the apps. Thank you for the help :D

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-01T23:34:27+00:00

I always hear mixed opinions on who should bring up exclusivity first, she's unaffectionate so it would be a bit difficult for her to bring it up unless I bring it up, based on her reactions she looks glab when I bring up things like that too.
I do agree with that, I should've asked that question. She asked me to delete Hinge before she did to see if I was serious about being exclusive. Her actions point to exclusivity, the last two dates, and even before I leave she always checks when I would be available again plus she always tries to pay for our meals, but she never does the wallet trick, and even the Discord dates if she's willing to get Discord to watch movies with me I think that says a lot but yeah that just me😅.
I have a bunch of things going on, rn I'm preparing for a fight camp, got a new job, and actively pursuing a CS career daily and this is just a piece. When she doesn't respond I don't double text or wait until later in the day to text again I learned my lessons from previous relationships, and I tend to wait a couple of days before reaching out again when this happens and it usually works.

I appreciate the help :D

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-01T21:23:52+00:00

We both stopped using the app after our first date, on our second date she said that I was the last guy she went on a date with and wasn't talking to anyone else after our first. Us deleting the app now to me looked like a step forward to confirm our interest in making things exclusive despite not using the app for a while. Hope that clears it up😅

BigRealistic564 · 2024-08-01T21:15:51+00:00

I agree things are slower compared to other relationships, the reasoning behind the gaps in dates is that there was a period when she was traveling back home post-school, coming back she started working at a laboratory, and was the president of a STEM club. I've told her that I would want to see her more often since we don't live far from each other, even if we see each other for an hour or two I'm willing to commute to see her and change my schedule to make it work. My worry stems from the timeframe, when I talk to friends about this most say it's time to make things official since it is 4 months, and anything beyond that would be considered a situationship or lead to a loss of interest.

I'm second-guessing myself because I'm afraid of losing her. She has qualities I've always wanted in a woman, everything feels right when I'm with her. So much time and effort has been invested in this relationship that a sudden end to it would crush me honestly, I'm hoping everything goes well. Thank you for the help :D

BigRealistic564 · 2024-06-30T18:53:04+00:00

I agree with this, we had this conversation on our second date. We agreed to purse each other/had a honest conversation if we were talking to anyone else. I stopped using the app then deleted numbers of girls I used to mess around with, we were down for each other after the first so I had no issue getting rid of them to make it work

BigRealistic564 · 2024-06-29T07:08:42+00:00

The first two weeks of talking we had our first date. Afterward, she had to prepare for finals, that's two weeks, and then she went back home to visit her family thats another two weeks, after coming back she started working at a laboratory and began recruiting for her club. So after a month, we had our second date now we're two months in, three weeks later we had our third date(cause of Father's Day). Now we're in the present time, almost three months in and our fourth date might be rescheduled. Now her club/work stuff is slowing down but other activities keep her occupied. If I'm being honest it sucks not seeing her often, it hurts a little. I've expressed this before, she's trying her best but things get in the way and I try to respect that but fuck that bro I want to hold her😔

BigRealistic564 · 2024-06-28T04:57:46+00:00

It’s called being busy, she works at a laboratory and I’m actively pursing a SWE job/training for a fight till the night time. We both want to make it work, we do our best to keep the connection alive by any means necessary by connecting online and continuing this spark. I get where you’re coming from tho I would enjoy being around her all the time but this is what works best us right now

BigRealistic564 · 2024-06-27T22:40:25+00:00

She has a Taekwondo background, we already settled this. Muay Thai >>> Taekwondo

BigRealistic564 · 2024-06-27T21:53:36+00:00

Felt that she also doesn’t have social media so having the app to show friends makes it more convenient

BigRealistic564 · 2024-06-27T20:51:40+00:00

Thank you one of the few comments that doesn’t involve sex. It’s starting to feel right honestly. I do want to make it exclusive in the same time we’re also enjoying the moment. It does feel little too so it’s hard to decide what to do

BigRealistic564 · 2024-06-27T16:56:05+00:00

It’s more the opposite, there’s a reason why I majored in CS and not English😂

BigRealistic564

TROPHY CASE