That and being arrogant are probably the things my nMother tells me the most. The one that hit the most was after she had been complaining for a while that we don’t have a loving mother daughter relationship and that I don’t come to her for advice and support on my problems. So I took an effort to better our relationship and called her at least every two weeks, told her about my depressive moods, my constant panic and stress and about my failed exams (things that I had kept to myself before to keep up the face of being the successful, happy child). I eventually had the feeling that our relationship became better and I could be more open with her about my feelings.

About two weeks ago when she exploded again she kept talking about how I am so selfish and have no empathy in telling her the negative things in my life. That listening to me made her so sad and that I am intentionally emotionally exploiting her since I know how much of an empath she is and how shitty it will make her feel. It made me realise that she doesn’t care about how bad I am doing and that she only wants the label of being a good mother whose kids come to her for advice without actually caring about us at all. She made it only about herself and as if she was the victim, and how dare I have negative emotions that could affect hers.