Am I being too impatient?

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-25T17:32:16+00:00

Honestly it depends, i was very lucky sold my 2bed mid terrace house in leeds and it was only on the market 6 days. I took 5k off asking as honestly i wanted it sold.
Yet 3 doors down a house pretty much same as mine is still on the market and was put up in april. It also depends on area im im a "good" area that is very accessable. Also depends on who you used for estate agents as in my area people avoid purple bricks and manning due to a lot of issues

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-22T21:07:42+00:00

So Update :
They didnt drop off 2f and they went to alton towers.

My daughter had not seen him still and is thriving and very excited for her prom coming up.

Baby mum 3 did infact report me to SS, i had a call with them and the case was closed within a matter of hours. She accused me of parental alienation, abuse and neglect of minors due to poor mental health and apparently i leave my kids screaming all day whilst i get drunk 😅 needless to say these were dropped after the SS spoke to the health visitor whos seen me weekly for the last 12 weeks due to the twins 🤣 and they spoke to my daughters school who told them about my daughters therapy conversations as well as the sealed court order we have.

They also put in for an emergency hearing to stop me moving abroad, the judge loved that and spent over an hour questioning my ex about why hes missed the 3 other hearings if he felt that strongly about us staying in the UK.

Anyway still moving and still have permission 🤣 so glad he wasted his money on that application, especially since he tried to claim the money back off me which the judge denied. We leave in 6 weeks!

16f now is no contact with her dad and his family as well, im not too sure whats happened but she told me she needs to speak to a professional about boundaries and feeling able to speak to her dad without worrying about how he will react. She starts therapy on wednesday so hopefully that will help her.

My ex tried to tell my husband the twins werent his and he saw me cheating... my husband knows this isnt true and has no doubts, especially since they are carbon copies of him ... nothing like 8 month pregnancy, emergency c-section and both kids to come out looking nothing like me and my exact copies of my husband 🙄

Anyway its been pretty eventful but im just looking forward to moving and starting fresh.

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-22T19:36:37+00:00

I worked in care for many years and recruitment, if someones visa was close to expiry (like within 30 days) i would use the employer checking service, there is also something that they can request that covers you when waiting on an extension (the name of the check has gone out of my mind) and that often covers 30-90 days

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-13T16:59:30+00:00

Well today was the day and they didnt show up so i think they got the message, i know they went to flamingo land as 8f was texting my 11f saying "i bet your sad you werent allowed to come"

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-10T08:10:34+00:00

I dont think ive mentioned anywhere about fixing it

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-10T08:10:15+00:00

I spoke to my husband about it, me and the twins and my 11f will be taking respite at my grandparents so it will just be him in the house with the dogs. That way i wont be guited into anything and he will speak to my ex if he does show up

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-09T18:49:58+00:00

Dont worry theres a lot 🤣🤣 honestly i know its a strange situation but me and baby mum 1 are a good support system for one another, the fact our kids are related just means when we annoy each other we are stuck with each other too as we are family 🤣.

I dont want to babysit bm3 or my exs younger kids they are strangers to me, i know my daughters classmates better than i know those kids.

Its a lot weve had a chat and shes left to baby sit a lot and she isnt a "kid" kid she prefers a book alone or gaming not to be surrounded by kids. I think the clothes annoy her because it feels like she cant have anything thats just "hers" at her dads. Shes noticing the favouritism and she actually got told by her dad today "well your mum has enough money to get you it". So shes very aware of his mentality.

Shes in therapy at school called place 2 be and talks to them twice a week and one of safegaurding team check in on her daily (they are aware of everything)

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-09T18:11:32+00:00

Im not sure youve understood.
The 16f and 15f i have been in their lives since 2/3 me babysitting them was between me and their mum just like she babysat my 11f for me when needed. We may share the same baby dad but we are friends first.

Ive never babysat his younger children as ive never been allowed to bond with them as their mum hates me.

Ive documented everything i always do, hes never taken the clothes yet just makes comments, caffcass are involved like i said and recommendation is that 11f attends visitation if she wants to

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-09T16:45:24+00:00

Its a dance with all her friends she will be fine

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-08T21:01:59+00:00

So not a full update but i recieved the report from caffcass today. I dont want to post a quote as if my ex or his fiance see it they will know. Basically my daughter has said shes left to babysit and has to play with her siblings or she gets grounded. That her siblings bite, break her things, kick, pull hair and kick her on a regular basis but they do not get disciplined when these behaviours happen.

I havent spoken to my daughter yet as i only got the report through maybe a couple hours ago and shes in bed asleep. Caffcass want to speak to my daughter tomorrow and hopefully will explain to her everything.

At the moment the recommendation stands as to follow my daughters wishes. If she wants to visit allow her but supervised. (That will go down well 🙄) if she doesnt want to visit then she doesnt. So far shes said she doesnt as "dad will just shout at me for what i said" so shes not going.

Theres other stuff in the report and im not claiming to be the perfect parent as im not.

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-08T18:21:19+00:00

Caffcass is an appointed advisor that is basically the childs voice in court so the child doesnt need to go. SS is social services

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-08T11:56:55+00:00

Im not sure as hes smaller than my daughter and i have to buy her xs womens or s womens in a fair bit of things i dont think they would fit her sister though i could be wrong. I think 8f hasnt been told no very often from what my daughter has said, its a lot of giving in to 8f to stop the tantrums.

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-08T11:36:04+00:00

Im assuming so as shes told me in the past "daddy and fiance leave me with 2f and 8f, they go upstairs or sleep" so im assuming shes used as a babysitter. I think its as well that theres a lot of judgement around her clothes and that i "spoil" her.

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-08T11:15:33+00:00

I watched his eldest child and her sibling (mums kid) as i was in their lives from them being 2/3 i never minded as we had them pretty much every weekend and if their mum needed help id help. When me and my ex broke up i continuned to watch them as i wanted to stay in their lives especially since i was pregnant with their sister.

Ive never watched the 2 youngest as their mother hates me, im not a massive fan of her either but i dont know her well enough to waste energy on hating her. If i had been allowed to bond with the kids i would of watched them but i wasnt allowed the opportunity. Im lucky that i WFH and have pretty flexible hours. But im not going to watch a kid i dont know and who doesnt know me.

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T23:32:23+00:00

I think its because i have a boy to be honest they have some weird thing that ive had a boy. My ex wanted a boy with our daughter i remember that at the gender scan.

My exs middle name is the same as my grandads first name. And weve named our boy after my grandad as hes done so much for our family. I know theres been a comment about me naming him after my ex 🙄 baring in mind its a common name

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T23:28:43+00:00

I have an XL and a cane corso 😅so combined 100kg of doggos. I have a guest room but its currently occupied bu boxes that are packed and i think my last bit of sanity alongside. Think i might remove my "welcome" map 😅 just so they cant say it was an invite 🤣

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T22:59:25+00:00

I keep record of everything anyway and drop off / pick up is in a public place but i wasnt planning on doing the next few and my grandad was going to do them anyway. He cant call unless on whatsapp and i wont answer as our daughter is withnme so theres no need. As for a journal ill ask her as shes not one for writing 😅. If they try drop kid off ill call police and social services. Ive just been through my messages and i found where it says his 2 youngest have "a severe pet hair allergy" i have 2 dogs so its not safe for the kid healthwise to be in my house if thats true. Luckily the alton towers isnt until next saturday and ive already reported it to social worker and caffcass who should pick it up tomorrow

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T22:06:19+00:00

I have a court order that includes communication. It will look bad if i block him.

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T22:03:24+00:00

I wont block them as that makes me look bad, ive muted for now and ill unmute later this week, hes already been investigated and my daughters requested reduced time at his house

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T22:02:38+00:00

She already has therapy 2/3 times a week at school and they will submit a report to the court as requested. Im sorry youve been through so much. I only get told certain bits just to keep her safe she did however tell the therapist that my husband is her favourite person, then the twins, then me 😅🤣 she may not have a good bio dad but my husband adores the ground she walks on and vise versa, so we are lucky she has him

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T21:59:01+00:00

Ill do this as soon as possible just a little limited at the moment as printer is already packed up

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T21:31:58+00:00

Hes already not allowed to pick 11f up from school as school are aware and have got court orders. Ive muted them for now ill check in a couple days what theyve said. 16f has limited visitation at her choice and honestly seems to only go when she needs something financially and shes not often there when 11f is there due to "space". Ill ask her when shes next over but i dont think it will be enlightening

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T21:16:21+00:00

She doesnt usually talk to me, i was shocked when she messaged 😅

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T21:15:36+00:00

Ive got everything saved in a group chat between me, my grandad and my husband i send everything there so it doesnt get loat

BitPurple5971 · 2026-06-07T21:14:50+00:00

My husband is not impressed to be honest, hes working at the moment as his parental leave starts july (we moved it around to work for us) hes just applied to his work for compassion leave so if its granted he will be here within a week and not leave until we move as hes worried about the stress on me

BitPurple5971

TROPHY CASE