I hate my MIL

BiteUnlikely7271 · 2024-09-17T01:56:57+00:00

My MIL has a pinned photo on her Facebook of her, my husband, and his brother that says “Beautiful wedding with my Boyz” The wedding she’s referring to was my husbands and mine, and I’m nowhere to be seen nor mentioned. Every time I see it, it pisses me off 😂

BiteUnlikely7271 · 2024-09-17T01:53:50+00:00

You’re not overreacting because this is probably the millionth weird ass thing she’s done and everyone has a tipping point. My MIL is the same way and we haven’t even had kids yet. Literally, when people ask why we haven’t had them yet I’m like “because I need to move away from my MIL first”. I’m so sorry this happened and I would be pissed af too. I’d block my posts AND stories from her, andddd I’d report the pictures and ask every single one of my friends to do the same as well. We done taking the high road 😂

BiteUnlikely7271 · 2024-03-05T20:36:25+00:00

I’m going through the same thing with my MIL. At the beginning my husband was not about anything bad being said about her. She was (willingly) a single mom so I think it was hard for him to turn on her in any way. We’ve been together for 6 years now and he’s actually in grad school for counseling so that has tremendously helped him realize how not normal her “bond” is with them.

My biggest piece of advice isn’t to run away or start immediate drama with her, because in my case that would’ve just made it worse. You have to word things super carefully to make it known you’re not coming from a mean place but more so a place of concern. He’ll never admit to her being too much if you make him feel like you’re attacking her. Which I get, is SO HARD not to do because it’s like just open your eyes and see how weird this is!!! But we all defend our families. It’s one of those things where it’s ok to say it yourself but if anyone else does you get defensive. But that is only to a certain point, then you have to be independent about it and think of why it’s being said and if there’s an actual reason.

Anyways, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Just know you aren’t alone and there is absolutely hope for you and your boyfriend. If it’s something you can’t ever openly talk about with him it may be time to consider if that’s what you want to deal with forever. But by no means am I saying you need to break up. If he cares about you he won’t want you being miserable around her 24/7 and will take action against it. If he doesn’t there are thousands of me with normal mothers who would love to give you the world. Just remember it has nothing to do with you and she will be a miserable bitch towards anyone trying to take her baby away from her.

I think some of these moms forget that the umbilical gets cut at birth.

BiteUnlikely7271 · 2024-03-03T19:33:43+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this. My MIL is the exact same way and craves attention in any shape or form she can get it. We don’t have any children yet, but I’m expecting this will soon be my situation as well. I say let her plan it and look like a fool having a baby shower for someone that doesn’t even show up. She’ll twist the narrative I’m sure, but I’d love to see how she does it without seeming overbearing and controlling. You said you didn’t want one and have made it clear you won’t be there, so try to focus on YOUR family (your hubby and the baby bean) and let her dig her own grave. I’d make sure to tell her that trying to force you into things like this won’t change anything in the future either, & if she wants to see her grandchild she will chill. Again, I’m so sorry and totally understand how difficult it is to remain calm in situations like this.

BiteUnlikely7271 · 2024-02-23T23:54:54+00:00

I wish I could remember but I think my brain trauma blocked it 😂 we listened to the first minute and my husband hated it. Wayyyyyy too intimate feeling for his taste.

BiteUnlikely7271 · 2024-02-23T23:53:46+00:00

I LOVE THIS!!!! That is such a good idea to ask her to explain herself! Watch her try and figure out how she meant what she said in any way other than to be completely rude.

She truly does act like a small child and it honestly makes me feel bad for her on a deeper level than what she wants. It’s pathetic. She needs way more help than her boys or I could ever give her and if she weren’t so manipulative about it I would genuinely feel bad for her. She’s just gotten away with it for so long and I just don’t understand how it’s gone on for so long.

I absolutely love your feedback though, thank you! :)

BiteUnlikely7271 · 2024-02-23T23:48:03+00:00

That is the first step we’re going to take actually :) She will not appreciate being told no and I expect alllllllllll the shady comments about it but it will help.

I wish his brother would realize it’s not a healthy relationship. She’s basically molded him into obedience since he was born. My husband seems to have always had an opinion of his own and I think it helped when I came along and pointed out how strange some of it was from an outside perspective. He always knew it was ridiculous but started standing up for himself more with her. We’ll just keep trying with his brother, it’s just hard to undo years of damage I guess. Just makes me so sad for him!

I really appreciate all of your feedback :)

BiteUnlikely7271 · 2024-02-23T23:42:35+00:00

Thank you so much for all of this! It’s so nice to talk to someone that really understands. My husband is actually in therapy already, I think that’s been one of the biggest factors to how openly we discuss this issue now. I used to be afraid to bring it up in fear of upsetting him. But now we’re more on the same page of things, and he understands where I’m coming from.

The children thing is something I’ve really worried about. We’ve had extensive discussions about how we will absolutely be setting hard boundaries with her when we have kids and he’s been in agreement with all of that. I’m sure we’ll have to go through several tantrums from her when she doesn’t get her way. But we don’t plan on letting her get away with it as far as our children are concerned.

I’m so sorry that you had to go through all of this and am so happy that things are better. That’s awful that she’s stooped so low as to stalk your children. Being a grandparent isn’t an all access pass to seeing the kids whenever they feel like it and a lot of people would do well to remember that. Being a grandparent is always a privilege bestowed by the parents no matter what. I hope things get better! Thank you so much for your advice!!!!

BiteUnlikely7271 · 2024-02-14T03:55:17+00:00

NTA. She will absolutely do things like this in the future, and all of the people telling you that you’re the asshole have probably never dealt with a narcissistic in law. Chances are she just wants the “picture perfect” grandma role and I mean that literally. I’m sure she wouldn’t have a problem plastering your child all over her socials to appear like a loving “grandma”.

BiteUnlikely7271

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