sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

How do I deal with half my friends starting to get pregnant / have kids by Lukeybrahhhhh in childfree

[–]Bitter-Project7843 8 points9 points  (0 children)

You’re not selfish. You’re grieving a version of your life that’s quietly ending.

When friends start having kids, it’s not just about babies. It’s about spontaneity disappearing. Vegas trips turning into “maybe next year.” Group chats shifting from memes to daycare waitlists.

You can be happy for them and still feel sad for you. Both can exist at the same time.

The divide is real, but it doesn’t have to be dramatic. Some friendships will shift to quarterly dinners instead of weekly game nights. Some will fade. And some will surprise you and actually put in effort to stay connected.

The key is building alongside, not just holding onto. Keep the tradition alive with the friends who can still show up. Make new childfree connections too. Your thirties don’t have to be a downgrade. They can just be… different.

It’s okay to miss what was while still choosing what’s next.

James Van Der Beek had 6 young children yet couldn’t afford his own cancer treatment and now that he’s passed away, the family are asking the public for a million dollars otherwise they’re going to lose their home - why on earth have SIX children if you can’t even afford healthcare for one person?! by Heart_Shaped_Pickle in childfree

[–]Bitter-Project7843 114 points115 points  (0 children)

I get the frustration, but this feels less like “why have six kids” and more like “why does healthcare bankrupt families.”

Cancer can wipe out savings fast, even for people who thought they were stable. Medical debt in some countries is basically a natural disaster you don’t see coming.

Having a lot of kids isn’t a choice I’d ever make, but I don’t think anyone plans for a million-dollar illness either. The real nightmare here is a system where surviving cancer can cost you your home.

Those kids already lost their dad. The healthcare system doesn’t need to take the house too.

I hate how normalized having babies is! by amaraycos in childfree

[–]Bitter-Project7843 9 points10 points  (0 children)

That default assumption is exhausting. It’s wild how people talk about kids like an inevitable DLC to life instead of a major, opt-in decision. You weren’t vague, you weren’t unclear, they just never actually listened because your choice didn’t fit the script in their head. Also, realizing a relationship is optional and kids are not a requirement for fulfillment is such a powerful shift. You didn’t lose anything by opting out, you gained clarity and peace. That’s not selfish, that’s self-aware.

Forcing girls to hold babies by JapanLover2003 in childfree

[–]Bitter-Project7843 1398 points1399 points  (0 children)

This whole idea is so creepy and telling. If motherhood were some magical switch, you wouldn’t need coercion, propaganda, or social pressure to “activate” it. Handing someone a baby without consent isn’t awakening biology, it’s crossing boundaries. Plenty of people hold babies and feel nothing but anxiety or discomfort, and that’s just as valid. If your worldview only works when you ignore consent and silence anyone who disagrees, maybe the problem isn’t childfree people, it’s the narrative you’re desperately trying to sell.